Page 21 of Harboring Secrets
“I pay you when it counts. Speaking of which, have you to contacted the lab? I want any and all viable eggs destroyed.” Saying the words made it real and for a moment I paused, taking one shaky breath after another as I felt out my own reaction to this. Was I sure? Maybe at one time I’d wanted that life, but I felt like a lifetime had passed between then and now. The Liam I was before wasn’t the same one that existed now.
“I’ve been your lawyer for a long time and your friend for longer. I want to ask you if you’re positive you want those eggs destroyed.”
“It was what Piper and I wanted. I hadn’t done it before now because, well, I think I forgot about them. Or maybe I wanted to forget about them. Maybe I was holding on to her in some way. I was overwhelmed for a long time and some things got pushed out of my mind. But the idea of Marsha using them to try and replace Piper somehow … I’m not willing to let them do that. I don’t think John is sold on the idea, but he lost his daughter and might feel that he’s losing his wife. I think he’ll go along with anything he thinks will make Marsha happy.”
“I’ll get in touch with the lab right away. It’ll probably be a couple days before the process goes through, so there’s a small window if you change your mind. It’s not over until it’s over.”
I took a long, deep breath and then let it out. “I won’t change my mind. It’s over.”
Acknowledging it out loud sent a tremor through me, like the last vestiges of grief sloughing off my bones. Tears pooled in my eyes, not because I was sad, but because I wasn’t. I was at peace with the loss of Piper in a way I hadn’t been before. Some of it was due to Brodie and the way he’d shifted my entire cosmos. And part of it was just time and tears and a promise I’d made to live my best life.
“You okay, Lawson?” Oren asked, his voice low, like he wanted to be gentle with his words and his intentions.
If he’d asked me that a few months ago, I’d have answered by rote. I’m okay. I’m fine. I’m doing well, thanks for asking. I’d have meant it on a surface level. Now the answer was more genuine. I was okay. I was fine. I really was doing well. Except for the whole missing Brodie thing, but I was working on that.
“I’m better than I’ve been in a long time,” I told him.
“Think about what I said. Find something for you. This guy can’t be the only thing you center remaking your life on. Figure out where you want to be and what you want to do, and what will make you happy. And I think doing that, along with some groveling, should win you your boy back.”
“You’re a good friend, Oren.”
“Shhh. Don’t say that. They might be listening and I don’t want the secret to get out. I’m a shark, Liam. An evil, awful, scum-sucking lawyer. I’m a big bad wolf.”
“You’re a golden retriever.”
“No, that’s my husband. I’m at the very least a mastiff. Big and intimidating, will eat your face off if you cross him, but mostly just wants to lay around on the couch.”
“Nah, you’re a husky. Too much energy and too many opinions about everything. You can’t be bored or you invent your own mental stimulation and that’s not always to the benefit of others.”
“Listen, Lawson, I don’t have to take this slander.” Oren laughed when he chastised me, but he didn’t argue with my assessment.
“It’s not slander if it’s true.”
“Why do I like you again?”
Hearing the humor in Oren’s voice hollowed my chest out with a spoon. It had been entirely too long since I’d made a point to connect with my friends.
I cleared my throat around a sudden swell of emotion. “I’ve always believed it was because you thought I was cute.”
Oren barked out a laugh. “Oh, honey, you’re barking up the wrong tree. But speaking of trees, were you ever going to tell me that you were bisexual?”
“It didn’t seem important before now. I was with Piper and she was it for me. She knew, but she’s the only one I ever told. Carol doesn’t know.”
“Well, thank you for telling me. Are there any other secrets you’ve been keeping from me?”
“Nope. Brodie was the only one.”
“Okay, good. Keep it that way. I don’t like not knowing things. It makes my ass itch.”
“You should see a doctor about that. It might be contagious.”
“Glad to see your sense of humor has returned. Now if you don’t mind, I have to run. I have a couple of calls to make and it’s my turn to pick up dinner on the way home. But don’t forget what I said.”
“What did you say?” I teased.
“I take it back. I am no longer pleased that you found your sense of humor. You should’ve found a better one instead. Seriously, Liam, I’m happy for you. I hope you and your guy can work it out, but if not, you need to have something to build a life on.”
“When I’m more settled and when things with Brodie are either happening or dead in the water, I’m coming for a visit.”
