Page 20 of Harboring Secrets
“I’m still billing you for it.” Oren could be hard for other people to read, but I knew he was joking because I’d heard him threaten it only a million times before.
“That’s fine, but I want your relationship guru rates, not the lawyer ones.”
Oren sucked in a breath. “That’s going to cost you extra, Lawson. Relationships are messy. I prefer law. There are clear rules and guidelines.”
“And a thousand loopholes for you to exploit.”
“Exactly. So tell me about the unfortunate woman who has landed herself in your sights. How did you two kids meet? More importantly, how bad did you fuck up?”
Whereas the thought of telling Carol that I’d fallen for a man, because I was bisexual and always had been, gave me hives. Telling Oren was as easy as telling him the sky was blue.
“The lucky lady is a man, Oren. And I fucked up pretty bad. I think he understands now that I explained and apologized, but I need to win him back.”
Oren didn’t miss a beat. He didn’t obsess about my sexuality. “What did you do? In order to establish a plan, I have to know the crime you committed.”
I flopped down on the bed in my hotel room. After putting Oren on speaker phone, I told the whole tale of how we met and how I’d fucked up. Oren might act like he knew shit about relationships, but he’d been with the same man since he was in law school. It was also why I was comfortable coming out to him the way I had. I could have done it years ago, but being with Piper made me feel like there was no point in talking about my sexuality. I was in a relationship that made me look straight, regardless of who I really was.
I wanted to say that I didn’t care how people perceived me, but the lie would never hold up under scrutiny. Clearly I did care, or I’d have called Carol for advice.
“He ate with me and he heard me out, and he said next time don’t get olives on the pizza. That’s good, right? That means he wants there to be a next time.”
“That does sound promising. So what’s your next step?”
I let out a tired laugh. “I was hoping you could tell me. I’ve never had to grovel like this before.”
“And you think the groveling will be different somehow because you’re trying to win back a man?”
Oren didn’t need me to answer that. I doubted he wanted me to admit that I’d never consciously thought that way, but it didn’t make it untrue.
“I think you’re off to a good start. Show him that you’re not going anywhere. Find out what’s important to him and show him that it’s important to you too. Remember that your actions are going to mean more than anything you can say to him. That’s how you’ll win him back. And next time you have to leave, take him with you. At least make the offer. Beg him if you have to. He might say no, but at least he’ll know you want him with you.”
“Okay, I understand what you’re saying.” I wiped my hand over my face. Exhaustion pulled at me, threatening to take me under. I hadn’t slept well since leaving Brodie, and sitting and doing nothing all day on his brother’s front step had been surprisingly taxing. “But how do I do all that?”
“That’s up to you to figure out. Anything you do will mean more if you do it with him in mind. You could search for a hundred ways to say you’re sorry, but the actions that mean the most will be the ones you take with him in mind.”
“Glad I’m not paying you for this, Oren. Honestly, you’re kind of shit at this.”
“That’s why I’m a lawyer and not a love doctor.”
“How’s the husband?” A change of subject was necessary to my sanity. I needed to think of something or someone other than Brodie for five minutes.
“Darling, as always.”
“Still doing the firefighter thing?”
“Ugh, don’t remind me. Don’t get me wrong, the whole firefighter thing really does it for me, but I get hives whenever I hear a siren. And when he’s on a call I eat antacids like the fire is in my stomach. But he loves his job, so what can I do?”
“I’ve always envied people like him.”
“Firefighters?” Oren asked, sounding confused.
“No, people who like what they do for a living.”
“Well, if you’re starting a new life in a new town, why can’t you find something you love to do? This Brodie guy can’t be the only thing you exist for. Take this time and this opportunity you’ve created for yourself and find what you love to do. You have the luxury of time and money on your side, Liam. Why not use it?”
“That’s actually helpful, Oren. You might just earn your paycheck yet.”
“As if you ever pay me.”
