Page 53 of Drifting Hearts
“He’s your brother. I don’t want to get between you.”
I reached for Clay, but he pulled away from me. He wrapped his arms around himself and folded like origami. He was a tortured swan, unaware of its own artistry. Its beauty. Its worth.
Unwilling to relent, I tried again. This time he let me touch him. Allowed me to put my hands on his biceps and draw him in against me. I wanted to keep him against me, sheltered and safe. Protected from everyone who might hurt him.
“I don’t belong here.”
Clay was a ball of tension and I hated that Shane had reacted the way he had. With any luck, Archer would be able to reason with my brother. If he was willing. I was starting to get the impression that Archer didn’t quite hold the same grudge against Clay that Shane did.
“I’m sorry about Shane.” I pressed a kiss against the curve of his neck. I wasn’t sorry that Shane knew about us, only the way he found out.
“He’s protective. It’s fine.”
“Treating people I care about like shit isnotfine,” I practically snarled. “You say you don’t want to get between Shane and me. Well, I don’t want him to get between us. He has no say in my life. In what I do, where I go, who I kiss. Who I love.”
Clay made a choking sound and he spun around to face me, eyes wide and wet. He blinked the moisture away before it could trickle down his cheeks.
“You can’t love me.” Clay sounded terrified, which wasn’t the reaction I’d hoped for.
“I’m pretty sure you don’t get a say in that any more than Shane does. Hell, even I didn’t get a say.”
Clay didn’t try to shrink away when I reached for him. I cradled his face in my hands so he couldn’t look away. “I never expected to like you, but I did. And then it was impossible for me to not fall in love with you.”
Clay sniffled. “But I’m a fucking mess.”
“Who isn’t?”
He scoffed. “Literally everyone around me.”
I tugged Clay over to the bed and sat down. He took the space next to me and I threw my arm around his shoulders. “My mom runs a shelter to help women leave abusive situations. We grew up learning that not having money caused problems, so now that Shane has it, he thinks it solves everything because when he first won the lottery, it did solve a lot of our problems. Shane has a big heart, like our Mom. He likes helping people, but sometimes he’s messy too. Even the best people can be a disaster from time to time.”
Clay sighed. “What are we doing, Kieran?”
“Whatever we want.” I noticed a suitcase sticking out of Clay’s closet and inspiration struck. “I just had a brilliant idea.”
Chapter 27
Clayton
“You want to goon a road trip? Now?”
Kieran beamed at me. “I’ve always wanted to. We can leave after dinner. We can swing by my place and grab a couple things, and then get out of here.”
I wanted to go. More than anything, it sounded like a fairy tale. Like the perfect adventure. Kieran and I escaping to the open road, just the two of us and miles of pavement.
“I can’t.” I protested, even though it killed me. Saying no was like stabbing myself in the heart. I wanted to go more than anything. I wanted something fun. Something adventurous. Something just for the two of us. But not like this. Not with Archer and Shane’s disapproval hanging over our heads like guillotine blades waiting to drop.
“You can’t?” Kieran sounded sad and confused.
“I want to,” I assured him. I took his hand in mine and laced our fingers together, hoping my touch would help him see just how much I meant it. “I don’t want to run away from Shane and Archer’s opinion. If you—if we care for each other, then we’re going to have to face them again eventually. I know I will never, ever be Shane’s favorite person, but I don’t want to be the cause of a problem between the two of you. I’ve been hiding for a long time, Kieran. Long before I met you. Long before I ruined my life. I’m tired of hiding. Of running. Of making bad choices over and over expecting good results. I owe Archer a lot ofthings that I can never give him. Money. Trust. Our friendship. But I can give him an apology. He deserves that much.”
Kieran lifted my hand and kissed it. The sweetness of the gesture had my chest tightening.
“If someone told me six months ago that I’d be here, in a place that felt safe with people who cared about me, I’d have laughed at them. But I’m here, and I want to earn this second chance I’ve been given. And I can’t do that by running away and pretending that my continued presence isn’t an issue for Shane. He put a lot on the line to help me.”
“He helped you for Archer’s sake.”
I shrugged. “That’s semantics.”
