Page 48 of Turning Tides
There had been some serious relationships when I was in my twenties, but nothing that lasted for long. For one reason or another, things never worked out. I’d thought myself to be in love each time, but nothing I felt back then compared to the way I did now. Like Archer was my heart walking around outside of my body.
“Thanks for letting me come over,” Archer said, snapping me out of my thoughts.
“You don’t have to thank me. You’re welcome here any time. All the time. I’d probably never let you leave if I had it my way.”
Archer snorted. “How veryMiseryof you. Are you going to hobble me and make me draw for you?”
“I’d never hurt you like that. But I might bribe you with your own art studio in my unused attic space and infinite orgasms.”
Next to me, Archer went still. “I suppose that’s better than being hobbled with a sledgehammer. I mean, who doesn’t want infinite orgasms?”
“Probably lots of people,” I answered honestly. “But I want that with you. I want a lot of things with you.”
Nothing good ever came from not being brave. For better or worse, I wanted Archer to know about the feelings that had taken root in my heart. About how I couldn’t make it through a day now without talking to him. Through an hour without thinking about him. I wanted to tell everyone we were together, starting with his bullheaded, overprotective brother.
I shifted around until we were on our sides, facing each other. Archer naturally moved closer to me, but I stopped him from hiding his face in against my chest, or from initiating that kiss I saw him telegraph a mile away.
“It’s been a long time since I’ve told anyone this, and I’ve never meant it the way I mean it with you.”
Archer bit his lip like he knew what I was going to say and wanted to interrupt, but had to hold himself back. I prayed it wasn’t a rejection.
“I’m in love with you, Archer. I want more nights with you. Mornings with you. Dates, in public. I want to kiss you and hold you and watch movies with you. I want to give you everything.”
Silence met me. I watched his lip slip free from his teeth, and watched his tongue poke out and wet the surface.
“You don’t have to say anything.” I rushed to fill the deafening silence, but Archer only smiled at me.
“It’s not that I don’t know what to say, or that I don’t have anything to say. It’s that I have too much to say. I didn’t want to like you as much as I do. I didn’t want to keep seeing you, but you made it impossible to say no. I couldn’t get enough of you. Can’t. Probably won’t ever, if I’m honest. But … I have nothing to give you. I’m barely getting back on my feet and it’s all thanks to you.”
Unable to help myself, I closed the distance between us and kissed his cheek. The corner of his mouth. The tip of his nose. “I have more than a lot of people. Does that mean I should only be with someone who has more than me? Who can give me things? I don’t want things. And the things I do want, I have. You’ve given me something money can’t buy. You see me how I am, not now you want me to be, and I’ve never had that.”
“Never?” Archer looked incredulous. “Surely there was someone—”
“Never,” I cut him off. “Not one person has accepted me the way you do. Has let me be free to be myself the way you let me. I’d give all my money away if it meant keeping you.”
He laughed and stole a kiss. “Well, you don’t have to do that to keep me. You’re already doing a pretty good job of that.”
It wasn’t quite the declaration of love I’d hoped for, but the last thing I wanted was for Archer to confess to things he didn’t feel. That I didn’t scare him away was a big enough win.
“Do you really want to take me on dates?” Archer asked.
“Why wouldn’t I? We have fun together. I like talking to you. I’d like to do it in public, over dinner maybe. Or ice cream. Or a drag show. Whatever you want.”
“Even karaoke?”
I suppressed a shudder. “Even karaoke.”
His face lit up like the sun. “I’d never make you go to karaoke.”
Archer moved in closer, his lips brushing against mine. My eyes fluttered shut as he teased another kiss against the seam of my lips. “I love you too much to subject you to such a cruelty.”
He kissed me and I couldn’t respond to anything but the way his mouth fit perfectly against mine. The way his breaths mingled with mine and how it felt when he slid the rest of the way over to me, pressing our bodies together again.
We kissed.
And we kissed.
And we kissed until there was no more breath in our lungs and we were forced to pull away. Even then, we lay tangled together, sharing gentle touches as we whispered about our plans for the future. We weren’t planning far ahead yet, but someday we would. Someday we’d be planning forever.
