Page 50 of Turning Tides
“I like sin.” I flashed Shane a smile and waited for him to unlock his truck before I climbed inside.
It was easy to indulge myself where Shane was concerned. I wanted to make him happy, and if the idea of taking me for waffles did that, then who was I to argue. The way I saw it, Shane did so much for everyone else for no other reason than he could and he wanted to. He was like the little alien robots in,*batteries not includedthe way he ran around fixing things for everyone.
Suddenly the sunflower didn’t seem like the right idea for his tattoo anymore. My fingers itched to get ahold of a sketchbook, but I’d left everything at home yesterday. Shane pulled up behind the bar and I unbuckled my seat belt.
“You don’t mind if I abandon you with your delivery, do you? I have a hot date with my sketchbook.”
Without glancing around, he leaned across the seat and stole a kiss. It was a risky thing to do and my breath caught in my throat. It was one thing to declare our feelings in the safety of his bedroom. It wasn’t dangerous to reach for me where no one could see. But here, anyone could see.
“So long as you promise to come see me later.”
“Yeah, of course.” I licked my lips in a vain attempt to try and taste him again. Before I did something reckless, like climb into his lap and rut against him, I slipped out of the truck and used my keys to open the back door. We agreed to meet up after the dinner rush and I darted upstairs, eager to get to work.
I usually never left home without a sketchbook of some kind, but yesterday’s call from Clayton had thrown me off kilter. Though I’d originally intended to unblock his number, in the light of a new day, I found myself changing my mind.
Not only was I not in a position to be able to help Clayton, but I wasn’t as good of a person as Shane was. I didn’t want to help him. Someone better than me might have found a way to justify it. Like if it weren’t for Clayton, then I wouldn’t have had to live with Cyrus. If I hadn’t been living with Cyrus, I wouldn’t have met Shane.
As good as my life was now, and as much as I loved Shane, I was still pissed at Clayton for what he’d done. He acted like he didn’t have a choice, but it was his choices that put him in that position in the first place.
I wasn’t sorry to have an amazing window to curl up next to and sketch. The natural light that poured in was great for my mood and for drawing. It was indulgent of me to draw Shane a tattoo inspired by my favorite movie, but he reminded me of those helpful little robots flying around. Indulging myself further, I surrounded Robot-Shane with sunflowers, meshing machine and nature together in a way I hadn’t thought to do before.
Bringing my things out of storage had done wonders for my attitude. I hadn’t realized how much I’d missed having access to all my art supplies until I was sleeping on Cyrus’s couch. Over the years, I’d collected all kinds of media to work in. I’d attempted lithography a few years back but it was something that came less naturally to me than painting. I’d toyed with the idea of taking classes, but by the time I wanted to do that, I was trying to get my shop off the ground.
Mostly I worked in pencil. Sometimes I did something in charcoal or pen. Today I went to my room and opened the top drawer of the dresser. My clothes all hung in the closet and I’d used the dresser that was in the room as my giant art storage unit. One day I’d have my own space. A studio that I could arrange how I wanted. With comfy chairs and the best lighting money could buy. I’d have all my suppliesorganized so I never had to hunt or dig or wonder where something was.
I found the markers I was looking for in the second drawer and returned to my seat by the window. The light had moved on, indicating that I’d been at it longer than I’d originally thought, but I still had time yet before I had to meet Shane.
I started with the sunflowers first, filling the centers in before adding the bursts of yellow and orange to their petals. Already I saw tweaks that I’d want to make before putting this on Shane’s body, but I still wanted to finish this piece. I wanted to bring my vision to life, hoping he’d like it.
If he didn’t, it wasn’t a total loss. I’d still look at him and see the most generous person on the planet. I’d still look at him and see the person I’d fallen for. And I’d have an adorable one-of-a-kind piece of art to hang in my bedroom. No way in hell did I want to risk some random person seeing it and wanting me to tattoo it on them. I was possessive, sue me.
I looked up from my work to find that another huge chunk of time had passed. I’d put far more work into this piece than I’d intended, but the minute I got going I’d been unable to stop. The raging perfectionist in me kept wanting to tweak it, but I was at the point now where if I didn’t stop, I’d risk overdrawing it and ruining the whole thing.
Flipping my sketchbook shut, I stood and rolled my shoulders, then my neck, working the kinks out. I promised myself that I’d put my stuff away later and I went downstairs, eager to show Shane what I’d spent the afternoon working on.
Chapter 25
Shane
Work was immediately ashit show. The delivery was wrong. The driver was new and didn’t know shit. My morning with Archer had lifted my mood, but for the first time since I opened the bar, I found myself wondering why I didn’t hire a manager to do all this stuff for me. At first, I’d wanted to work. I’d craved the normalcy that a steady job offered. Something where I called the shots. But a few years in and I was learning that normal was overrated.
If I had a manager, I could let them do all this shit and just show up when I felt like it. I could do the fun part like hanging out behind the bar. Or better yet, I could hang out upstairs with Archer. It made me feel like a lovesick teenager, but I was beyond caring. I’d done so much for other people, I deserved a little daydream of my own.
Cyrus breezing in and greeting me with his usual grin pulled me out of my thoughts.
“Hey, Cyrus, quick question.”
He turned the water on and started washing his hands so he could dive into prep. “What’s up?”
“If I hired someone to run this place for me, would that be a job you’d want?” Cyrus had been with me from the beginning. It only seemed fair to offer it to him first. He’d been there the longest and he knew the place better than anyone.
“Hell, no.” Cyrus didn’t have to think about his answer. “Why? Are you quitting?”
“I’m thinking of taking more time away from here.”
“Good. You work too much. You’re either here looking after this place, or you’re at your mom’s looking after her place. Mickey is too green to run the show. What about Vivian? I know you gave her time off so she could get her mom’s affairs in order, but I don’t hate her.”
Coming from Cyrus, that was a ringing endorsement. He had never been shy about letting me know what he thought of some of the staff I hired. It was why I’d put him in charge of the kitchen staff, of which there currently was only him.
