Page 46 of The Virgin
Before Spencer, Jonah thought the only way to be truly intimate with a person was to get naked with them and that terrified him for reasons he still wasn’t sure of. But now he knew that intimacy was a cup of coffee in the morning. A snuggle in front of the television. There were so many little ways to love someone, and not all of them had to include sex, but those were good ways too.
And maybe it was the experience with Spencer that had him finally brave enough to do some research. He’d known deep down that he was different. He wasn’t wired the same way a lot of people were. His unwillingness to put a label on himself had been his dating downfall, because without coming out and saying that he was demisexual, or maybe even asexual—Jonah still wasn’t exactly sure where he fit—he found that by setting no expectations, people often expected too much.
Everyone but Spencer. Spencer, who was easy to talk to and be with. Who had Jonah’s back no matter what. Spencer was kind and loyal and the best person Jonah knew, and that wasbeforethey kissed. Before they crossed any lines, Jonah had been a million percent comfortable with him.
Sitting in a parking lot wasn’t doing Jonah any favors. He could sit there for hours and let anxiety churn in his stomach until it made him sick, or he could start the car and go talk to Spencer and set the record straight.
Jonah was probably demisexual and definitely in love with Spencer.
Now he had to tell him.
The drive to Spencer’s house seemed to take forever, and when Jonah pulled into the driveway, he was surprised to see the lights in the house were off and the driveway was empty. He’d expected to find Spencer in his shop, welding and sculpting and creating.
Spencer wasn’t there.
CHAPTER 24
SPENCER
He’d kepthimself busy all week, which was probably shitty of him. Who knows what Jonah thought of him now? Part of him wondered whether Jonah would think Spencer had just been using him. It would be the logical conclusion as to why Spencer had pulled away, except it wasn’t the truth.
The truth was that every day was agony. If Spencer thought too much about Jonah, his chest got tight and his throat ached from holding his emotions in check. In reality, Spencer had thrown himself into his art because it was his refuge. He’d completed the bear, and after trying and failing to do something with the pop can tabs, Spencer had loaded them into his truck. He’d bring them to the school and let the kids use them.
Now that he didn’t have a project to keep him busy, he was at his wit’s end. Jonah’s date was that night. The idea of him taking all that they’d done together and using that knowledge to be intimate with someone else sent a flare of jealousy through him. Spencer tugged at the collar of his shirt and let out a deep breath.He had to get out of there.
After driving in circles for a while, he ended up at Damon’s apartment. Damon sounded surprised to see him but buzzed him into the building.
When Spencer arrived at Damon’s apartment door, his friend was already standing there.
“Long time, no see, stranger.” Damon stepped aside to let Spencer enter the apartment.
“I think I just missed the mystery man,” Spencer said, noting the way Damon’s shirt was buttoned crooked and the telltale smell of sex and cologne that wasn’t Damon’s.
Damon rolled his eyes but neither confirmed nor denied. “Forgive me for being blunt, Spencer, but you look like hell.”
“I feel like it.”
Damon closed the door and followed Spencer into the kitchen. Spencer leaned against the counter and crossed his arms in front of himself.
“Care to share with the class?”
“Jonah’s on a date.” Spencer nearly choked on the words.
“A date? I thought you two were…” Damon trailed off and gave Spencer an eyebrow waggle. “You know.”
“We… Wait, how did you know?”
Damon snorted and grabbed two bottles of water out of his fridge. He handed one to Spencer and twisted the cap off the other. “I caught the vibe the two of you were giving off at Ethan’s last weekend. It was obvious to me that you guys had been up to something. How’d that happen anyway?”
“Obvious how?”
Damon waved off Spencer’s comment. “Doesn’t matter. So, if you’re together, why is he on a date?”
“We’re not together. We were just…” There was no good way to finish that sentence. They’d acted like they were together. They made plans to see each other. They talked and kissed and cuddled. Spencer woke up thinking of Jonah every morning and fell asleep thinking about him every night. Jonah was the best part of his day, and he was on a date with someone who wasn’t Spencer. “Stupid. I’m stupid is what I am.”
Damon furrowed his brow. “I’m pretty sure you had a whole conversation in your head that I wasn’t privy to, but if you let Jonah go on a date with someone else so you could skulk around looking like your dog died, I’m not going to argue with your self-assessment.”
“I’m not skulking.”
