Page 7 of The Virgin
Jonah clutched his abdomen as a reflex. “Oh, God. Don’t bring that up.” His stomach lurched, and the booze he drank threatened to make a comeback.
“I need air.” Jonah got to his feet and half stumbled out of the shop and into the yard.
Now that the scent of metal was out of his nose, his stomach settled. He bent forward and put his hands on his knees and took another few breaths. Spencer joined him, tall and quiet as usual. He watched over Jonah, eventually putting a hand on his back and rubbing in slow circles. It was far more soothing than anything Jonah had experienced. It was the last straw, apparently, because the whole mortifying story came tumbling out.
“I panicked. I met a guy on Grindr and we were going to hook up, but I couldn’t.”
“Everyone gets cold feet. That’s nothing to be embarrassed about. You don’t owe someone sex just because that had been the plan.”
“I know, but you don’t get it.” Jonah stood and folded his arms over his chest, hugging himself and all his crumbling pieces together. “I always panic. I’ve never been okay enough with a guy to get anywhere. I’m twenty-seven and I’ve never had sex, okay? The closest I got was a circle jerk in high school, but that hardly counts because most of the guys were straight, or straight-ish, and everyone took care of themselves. I have an apartment, a plant, and a gray hair. I’m going to die alone, untouched, and it’s annoying, and sometimes I hate being me.” Jonah took a deep breath and let it shudder out of him.
Spencer still hadn’t said anything, but Jonah knew he’d have something nice and supportive to say when Jonah was done bleeding out all over the place.
“It’s not like I had anyone to bring this to growing up. Dad was always busy and my best-slash-only friend in high school was Colby. Then I got to college and sort of assumed that I’d fall into this awesome sex life, but it never happened. And the longer it didn’t happen, the weirder I felt about it. It’s become this big thing in my life, this giant, ugly truth that I’m too weird, or too prudish, or not enough of something for someone to want to batter my defenses down and give me more than five minutes to get comfortable with them before they glom onto me and try to eat me alive in a bathroom that hasn’t been washed since Obama was president.” Jonah raked his hand down his face. “I need someone to give me enough time to get comfortable with them before I take the big plunge, you know, but no one seems to want that. They want to know if there’s chemistry before they get comfortable. And I’ve tried doing it that way. And I’ve tried getting comfortable first, but it's a lost cause.”
Jonah stopped talking. He’d talked himself out of words altogether, like he couldn’t muster another sentence if he tried. “I give up.”
Spencer didn’t have any sage advice or words of wisdom for Jonah. He did, however, have a big strong body that swept Jonah into a hug. Jonah closed his eyes and let himself enjoy the closeness of another person. It wasn’t a solution, but it helped heal some of Jonah’s rumpled spirit. Spencer had a way of making Jonah think everything was going to be okay.
CHAPTER 4
SPENCER
Jonah pulled away,and Spencer watched him close himself off. They might be best friends, but Jonah was used to keeping everything to himself. It had cost him a great deal to share as much as he had. Spencer didn’t want to push him, but he wished if his walls were going to slam back up, Jonah would at least leave a window open for him.
Spencer hooked his thumbs in his pockets to keep himself from reaching for Jonah again. “Netflix?”
Jonah snorted. His laugh was still watery and tight, but he seemed lighter, even though Spencer knew that he was still upset. If Spencer could help Jonah, he would.
And wasn’t that a kick in the gut? The idea of him touching Jonah like that. Of sliding behind his barricade and peeling back all the armor he wore. It was enough to make Spencer squirm. It wasn’t something that had never crossed his mind before, if he was honest. Jonah was his type. Shorter, slighter, passionate about his interests. Protective of his family. He was the whole package.
However, the idea that Spencer could be the first one to see him come, to make him let go, had a sudden chokehold on him. He hardened at the idea that he could be the first one to show him passion and ecstasy. It wasn’t something he’d thought about in great detail…until now.
He’d met Jonah when he came to work at the school, a brand-new degree in one hand and the drive to prove himself in the other. They’d become friends almost instantly.
Spencer knew his friend was socially awkward around new people, but once he settled into himself, he was a delight. Quick-witted and sensitive, Jonah was nice to be around. Spencer gravitated toward him like a plant leaning toward the sun.
“You won’t make me watch anything too happy, will you?” The plastic water bottle Jonah still held crinkled in his grasp.
“We can watch something stabby and bloody if you want.”
“We could compromise and watchGladiator. It has a nice unhappy ending and some bloodshed.”
“The perfect combination.” Spencer slid an arm around Jonah’s shoulders and steered him into the house.
“Can I borrow your shower?” Jonah shuddered and folded his arms over his chest, clearly anxious to wash away the earlier events of the night.
“Sure. I’ll get you something comfortable to crash in.”
“Yeah, these jeans are cutting off my circulation.”
Spencer kept his comments to himself because he liked the jeans Jonah was wearing. They were so tight they might as well have been painted on. Jonah didn’t usually dress like that, and it did something to Spencer to see him look so freaking hot. But he also hated how uncomfortable Jonah obviously was and he didn’t want to make it worse by perving on his friend.
“If you hop in the shower, I’ll dig into my dresser and find you something to change into. The towels in there are all fresh, so take your pick.”
Jonah mumbled a thank you and disappeared into the bathroom. Spencer took a deep breath in and let it out slowly, willing his stupid dick to get the memo that Jonah was his friend. He wasn’t going to put the moves on Jonah when he was drunk and vulnerable. Besides, he knew his friend well enough to know that he’d be fast asleep within the first thirty minutes of the movie.
Spencer went into his bedroom and picked the dirty laundry up off the floor and tossed it into the hamper. He took the clean laundry off the chair in the corner and shoved it haphazardly into his closet before changing into a pair of thin cotton pants. He never slept with a shirt on and Jonah had spent the night there before, just like this, but for some reason, Spencer thought he should wear a shirt. He battled with himself over it until he heard the water turn off, then quickly snagged a pair of pants for Jonah and one of his bigger shirts.
