Page 45 of The Virgin
Grant had offered to pick him up, but Jonah insisted on taking his own car. Parking at the auditorium was always a nightmare on concert nights so Jonah parked a couple blocks away and walked to meet Grant and Tyler at the entrance.
Grant stood on the sidewalk and was glancing at his watch when Jonah approached. Right away, Jonah noticed that his nephew wasn’t there.
“Jonah, you came.” Grant leaned in as if he were going to kiss Jonah on the cheek. Jonah took a step back.
“I said I would. Where’s Tyler?” Jonah furrowed his brow. He crossed his arms in front of his chest.
“He decided to stay the night at a friend’s house instead. Turns out pizza and video games are more appealing than joining a couple of old guys at a concert.”
“Grant…” Jonah didn’t want to be angry, but he was livid. Not just with Grant, whom he was certain had manipulated him, but also at himself for giving Grant a window to do so and hurting Spencer in the process. “Grant, you need to level with me, and you need to do it right now.”
Unease flickered across Grant’s features and then his happy smile slipped away. “Look, I really wanted to take you out, but you always say no.”
“Because I’m not interested in you.”
“But you could be. I wanted a chance to show you how much fun we could have together.”
“This was shitty of you. You know that, right? What did you think was going to happen? That without your nephew here I’d be okay with your obvious manipulation? That we’d have a great time, and maybe, since your nephew is conveniently gone for the night, that I’d magically fall on your dick?”
Grant shushed him. “Keep your voice down, Jonah.”
Jonah stepped closer and did lower his voice, but he spoke through gritted teeth because if he opened his mouth, he might scream.
“I don’t want you at the diner anymore. I don’t want you to ask me to tutor your nephew, and I don’t want you to ask me out again. This was a shitty thing to do. I’d never have done it to anyone, and the only reason…” Jonah’s temper flared, and he balled his hands into fists, clenching them tight. “The only reason I said yes was because I lost my mom, and I know how fucking awful it is to lose a parent. I know your nephew has had it rough, and I didn’t want to disappoint him. And you’re a fucking asshole for using that to get what you want.”
Grant looked like he was going to be sick, and any other day, Jonah might have felt bad for him. He might have at least felt bad for telling him off in public, but all Jonah could think about was how miserable he’d made himself, and Spencer, all week because of this.
“Jonah, I’m sorry. It was—I didn’t think of it like that. I thought that we like the same stuff and you’re really—I like you, okay. I like you a lot. And I just wanted a chance.”
“Well, we can’t always get what we want now, can we?” Jonah’s anger deflated. Not entirely, but enough to allow him to unclench his fists. He dropped his arms to his sides and shook the tension out of his hands.
“You’re not going to hit me, are you?” Grant asked.
“No, Grant. I’m not going to hit you.”
“I’d have had it coming.”
Jonah shook his head. “No, you wouldn’t. I should’ve said no to begin with.” He shoved his hands in his pockets. “I’m going to go. But I’m serious, Grant. No more asking me out. No more tutoring. No more dropping by the diner. What you did sucked, okay? It was manipulative, and while I don’t think it makes you a bad person, just a misguided one, it makes you someone I don’t want to be around.”
Grant nodded. “I’m truly sorry, Jonah.”
Jonah nodded. He wasn’t sure whether he accepted the apology or not, though. “I appreciate that. In the future, Grant, save yourself the embarrassment and take no for an answer the first time, okay?”
Grant went red in the face and said nothing.
“Goodbye, Grant.”
Jonah walked to his car without looking back. Guilt and shame curled in his stomach. Grant’s little trick made Jonah feel small and stupid in a way he hadn’t in a long time. Logically, he knew that Grant was at fault for being the manipulative party. Jonah hadn’t wanted to say yes to begin with, but he’d questioned his own judgment. He’d let the fact that he didn’t know where he stood with Spencer muddy the water, when in reality, it didn’t matter where he stood with Spencer because he knew where Spencer stood with him.
Jonah had been aware of his feelings for his best friend for weeks. Probably since that very first kiss when Jonah’s body lit up on the inside like a firework. And he hadn’t said anything. He’d let Spencer think that he was just using him, and maybe that’s how it had started. A mutually beneficial arrangement where no one was meant to get hurt.
But Jonah had hurt Spencer—and himself.
He’d known he’d hurt Spencer the minute he brought up Grant asking him out. He’d let himself do it, and for what?
He unlocked his car and climbed in, but didn’t start it. His hands still shook with rage and he didn’t trust himself to drive yet.
He could call Spencer and sort this out, but Jonah didn’t want to call him. He wanted to see him. To explain everything to him. All the little truths that Jonah had learned about himself, he’d learned because of Spencer.
