Page 161 of Deadwood
Paxon shut it behind him, not moving from his spot near the entrance as he stared me down. I stood in the kitchen, bottle of bourbon in hand, just about to take a sip. Between Bowen feeling betrayed by me for not telling him what Paxon had meant, my father coming to Deadwood to retrieve me, and the kiss in the spring, my mind was a tornado. Alcohol might only make that worse, but it might also numb the thoughts I couldn’t get a grasp on. The only coherent one that rang clear was the one I didn’t know what to do with.
Leaving here was not what I wanted.
“Drinking is a bad habit,” Paxon chastised.
“So is trying to control the people around you, but alas.” I threw my head back, the rich liquid stinging my throat as it went down. The glass hit the wood counter with a dull thud as I set it down.
Paxon’s gaze roamed the room, as if he hadn’t seen it multiple times before. “Those who sit and wait rarely get what they desire.”
“And what is it you desire?” I asked, only to make him get to the fucking point.
Those sharp, devious eyes planted their sights on me. “Power.”
I scoffed. “You’ll hardly get that with me. A war is more likely.”
He ignored my statement. “You and Lander have come to an agreement to end the engagement.”
Satisfaction shone in his gaze now, whether at the fact that Lander and I didn’t have the ability to end it or that my only option was to go with him if the wedding truly wasn’t going to happen. I hadn’t forgotten his ultimatum.
Marry Lander or go with him.
“I haven’t made up my mind yet,” I lied.
“I gave you until the bridge was repaired, and with King Tenere currently on his way, it seems that time is up.”
“Not yet.” The bridge might be repaired, but I was still in Deadwood.
I should have told Bowen what Paxon had meant. I should have told him a long time ago, if I was being honest with myself. Bowen had given me no reason not to trust him, and yet, I was always on high alert around him. Maybe not in the way I was when in danger, though. Perhaps I had been reading myself wrong, and it was desire that coursed through me like a river. Whatever it was, I could lean on Bowen. That much was certain.
Paxon’s head cocked to the side, like he could sense my thoughts. “You want to stay in this wasteland.”
My lips pressed together as I refused to voice my answer. It was an unreachable dream, and yet…
Paxon threw his head back in a laugh, the sound echoing through the too-quiet house, despite the chaos that ensued just outside the walls on the main street. “I should’ve known,” Paxon continued. “Auria, the daughter of a king, wants to live with lawless lowlifes.”
If only he knew just how powerful Deadwood really was, he wouldn’t be making these accusations.
Still, I did not speak.
“Are you more upset about having to choose between Lander and my offer or that you’ll be leaving your precious, worthless Bowen?”
“He isnotworthless,” I defended, falling right into his trap.
A devilish smile pulled at his mouth. “You’re right,” Paxon admitted. “Not with the plans he has in place.”
With that, he turned, pulling open the door to leave me in the silence. His words bounced around my head, but I wouldn’t believe them. Not after seeing who Bowen truly was. Paxon was trying to plant a seed, and I wouldn’t let it bury itself in my mind.
Not being able to take another second of the quiet, I headed for the door, leaving the bottle of bourbon uncorked on the counter. I closed the door behind me and beelined for Bowen’s house. He was the only one who could settle any doubts creeping up on me.
I wouldn’t let Paxon win in his effort to turn me against Bowen.
I crossed the porch and tapped my knuckles against the wood door, waiting. I knocked again, but heard no footsteps from within. I should’ve gone back to my house and waited for him, but I didn’t want to be there or chance seeing Paxon again.
I tried the handle, and to my surprise, it was unlocked. Stepping across the threshold, I closed the door behind me, surveying the room.
“Bowen?”
Silence met me, so I took to the stairs, heading for his room. The door was wide open, and the familiar sight made me stop in my tracks in the doorway. The space was so empty without him in it. Memories of my healing from the wolf bite flashed through my mind. Bowen lying in that bed with me while I healed, holding me through my nightmares as my mind brought me back to my dark past while in my vulnerable state.
