Page 103 of Scrape the Barrel
I knew she was referencing my ex and my inability to take on less clients just to spend more time with her. Back then, I hadn’t wanted to. But with Sage, it didn’t seem all that terrible of an idea.
It was a wonder how feelings could be swayed because of one person.
“It’s not just for her. I don’t want to disappoint Avery,” I told her.
She set the rolling pin on the counter next to the dough and brushed her hands off. “You’re not fooling me.”
I could feel the blush crawling up my neck. Talking to my mom came easy, but if it was about girls, I couldn’t get the words out to anyone. Some part of talking about the person you liked felt vulnerable, like you were giving people the ability to hurt you by opening up that way. And if more people knew about my feelings for Sage, the more official it became. It wouldn’t just be between me and her anymore. It’d be public, and I wanted to be one hundred percent sure that was what she wanted.
“You can’t avoid things because you think they’ll end badly,” Mom said. “What if it ends up amazing?”
“I’m not saying it wouldn’t.” Hell, it alreadywasamazing. She’d called me her boyfriend, and while it had come as a bit of a shock in the moment, I didn’t want to be anything else.
“But you’re not talking about it, and that tells me you’re scared.”
She knew me too damn well.
“I don’t want to mess this up with her and her daughter. They’ve got their own things going on, and I don’t want to overwhelm them with this. I’m happy with whatever Sage wants us to be at the moment, and I’ll move at her pace.”
Mom stared at me, not a hint of her thoughts showing on her face. “That’s what love is, Callan. Going through this life with whatever is thrown at you, together. Their things become yours and vice versa.”
I’d already let her problems become my own, and I wanted it that way. Sage didn’t deserve to go through any of this alone, and if I had to guess, she felt the same way about me.
“I’ll try to open up,” I said.
Mom picked up the roller again. “You can take on the world's burdens, but let the world take some of yours, too.”
My brows pulled together. “Is there something you’re trying to hint at here?”
She drew in a deep breath, looking down at the dough. She studied it for a moment, then said, “Beckham is coming home.”
My blood went cold with the thought of what that might mean. “Is he hurt?”
She shook her head, moving her gaze to me again. “No. God, no. He’s okay. He’s taking a break from rodeo.”
“Can he even do that?” I wasn’t sure what all the rules were, but he had to be bound by some kind of contract.
She gave an inch of a shrug. “I guess so. He didn’t go into much detail, but I’m sure he will when he gets here.”
If she said he wasn’t hurt, then I believed her, but not knowing the reason he was taking a break worried me all the more.
“When will he be here?” I asked.
“He said he has to wrap some things up, so he’s hoping a few weeks.”
I nodded, watching as she got back to rolling out the dough. Knowing he’d be home and not risking his life on those broncs should make me feel better, but it did little to comfort me right now.
Setting my hat back on my head, I opened the fridge to pull my enchilada dish out. I’d left it here so I could grab it after my lessons and head straight to Sage’s house. A quick glance at theclock told me I didn’t have time to shower like I’d planned. More time than I thought had passed since I walked inside.
“I’ll see you tomorrow,” I said as I walked behind my mom toward the door.
“Drive safe, and tell Avery I said happy birthday.”
“Will do.”
With the dish in hand, I headed for my truck and fought the urge to call Beckham and ask what was going on. He’d tell us when he was ready, and tonight was about Avery.
I had to learn that I didn’t need to carry the weight of everyone’s problems on my shoulders all the time. Worrying about everyone else wouldn’t ease the anxiety that always sat on my chest like a brick. I couldn’t be in control of everything all the time, keeping everyone safe and healthy.
