Page 91 of Spur of the Moment
Her eyes glassed over, tears welling in them. “I’m sorry,” was all she said before she flipped Red around and took off down the trail with Rouge right behind her.
I wanted to go after her, but instead, I stayed put. Nova pawed at the ground, feeling the same draw to chase after them. But I kept him in place, forcing air into my lungs. I watched as Lettie, Red, and Rouge walked away, the three most important things in my life disappearing before my eyes.
Lettie wasn’t going to get away so easily this time, but I’d give her the space she needed for now.
Just not five fucking years’ worth. Not again.
46
Lettie
Imade it back home and walked Red to the white barn. Bringing my leg over him, I got off and removed his bridle. He drank from the trough, Rouge following suit, as I loosened the latigo and got to work removing his tack.
I set the saddle on the fence and walked Red to his stall, passing Reed bent over a horse's back leg, filing away at the hoof. Once I locked the gate, I went back to grab the saddle and found Rouge in the trough, splashing around.
Leaving him to do his thing, I made my way to the tack room, hefting the saddle up to set it on the stand.
“Have a good ride?” Reed asked as I passed back by him.
My shoulders were already sunburnt since I’d opted to wear a tanktop today, under the impression we’d be painting right now. The spurs I’d slipped on before our ride clanged with eachstep down the aisle of the barn. “It was great,” I clipped in response.
Reed stood up after gently setting the horse’s foot back on the ground. His eyebrows were raised in question.
I ignored him, not in the mood to get into it with him right now. He was already on edge with learning about Bailey and me getting together. The last thing I needed to do was give him the impression we were already arguing.
We weren’t arguing, though. I’d confessed to him why I left, confirming his suspicions, but it all came out wrong.
I wasn’t scared of Bailey. I didn’t want him to think that I was, but saying that I left because of him? That’s the only way it could come across.
Bailey was such a constant presence in my life. Always there when I needed a shoulder. He never pressed for information, but he comforted me all the same. I didn’t want to ever lose that, and if we had gotten together when I was eighteen and he was twenty-two? Iwasscared he’d come to see me as nothing more than an immature teen and leave me for someone closer to his age.
But I wasn’t scared anymore. What I felt for him now was far from it.
Bailey was the life line I hung onto with every ounce of my being. When things got crazy, or my brothers were being overbearing, or my parents were drowning me in their overprotective behavior, he was the one I came to.
I appreciated my family every single day. But sometimes, it felt like my walls were closing in when they constantly asked how I felt, or if I needed anything.
I never once took them for granted. I loved them with everything I had in me.
But Bailey was like my palette cleanser. Yeah, he cared about me. He was protective of me all the same. But he never forced how he felt onto me. Deep down, I always knew we felt more than just friendship for each other, but being in a relationship meant feelings were heightened, and I didn’t want Bailey to drown me, too.
The look on his face when he thought I was terrified enough of him to leave killed me.
Those five years mentally destroyed me, and being back here put me back together. Just being in Bailey’s presence wasn’t enough, but the thought of losing him if things went south petrified me, my heart nearly beating out of my chest at just the thought.
But I could admit that he wasn’t the only one who wanted more.
I didn’t want to hurt him. He was my best friend, and being more than that didn’t change that. I’d give him all the stars in the universe if that would keep a smile on his face, but I didn’t know if it was enough. If I was enough.
That was why I didn’t want to admit it to him. What if things were better off with me three hundred miles away?
I headed in the direction of the only place I wanted to be right now. The place I always felt closest to him without being in his presence. The spot we last saw each other aside from Outlaw's Watering Hole, all those years ago, before I decided to ruin everything we’d built.
47
Bailey
After about thirty minutes of sitting in my thoughts, I led Nova back down the trail. Once we reached the barn, I pulled him to a stop to dismount.
