Page 46 of Wasted Memories
“We both know that eventually I’m going to have to talk to Jett. I can’t just avoid him in this small town for the rest of my life.” I intertwined my fingers with his before I could think twice about it, trying not to lean on him for support. Now that I’d stopped moving, my body was feeling the aches from today.
He looked like he had a thousand thoughts ping ponging around in his head. I didn’t have the energy to discuss any of it tonight. My feet were killing me and my head was pounding from the dehydration of working a long shift at an understaffed restaurant.
“Can I go to bed? We can talk about it tomorrow after my shift.”
“If you promise to tell me everything that happened at the store.”
“You can have the play by play as soon as I get off work.” As long as it was after a full night's rest, I’d promise anything.
Seeing the way Wesley took care of me made me wonder why I ever settled for less. The attraction I felt growing for Wesley felt so vastly different from the way I felt about Jett.
With Jett, it was like I was pining for his love, silently begging for attention he didn’t freely give. Of course, he would touch me and show me affection, but I was always aching for more without actually knowing what I was aching for. Maybe it was those nights I spent cleaning up his vomit that I wished it was him taking care of me, or the watered-down beverages I’d stomach so I could be there when he needed me.
Jett took such a mental toll on me and I never realized it until now. I never wanted to leave him when he was so clearly vulnerable, because who would take care of him if it wasn’t me? His wellbeing fell on my shoulders day after day, but he wasn’t there to shoulder my own.
I pushed any thoughts of finding someone better aside so long ago that I convinced myself that there was no one better than Jett. That there was no other relationship I’d ever feel as fulfilled by. But did I ever even feel fulfilled? Did I feel like there was nothing Jett could do to make me feel any more special? No. I rode the wave of “just enough” for so long that “just enough” became “more than enough.”
Chapter Twenty Five
Emerson
Fivehoursintomyshift, it dawned on me that I hadn’t taken my break. The time was flying and for the first time since me and Jett’s breakup, I felt like I could let my guard down and be in the moment. I’d already made double the tips I typically made in an eight hour shift. Diners were being oddly pleasant today and Elijah was nowhere to be found - just how I liked it.
I was still trying to process the fact that Wesley’s brother was in town, and that said brother looked just as jaw dropping. Their parents should have blessed the earth with a dozen more of their offspring.
Seeing as there weren’t too many people seated at the moment, I took the opportunity to squeeze in a five minute break.
I found Jessica grabbing two piping hot plates from the kitchen. “Cover my break?”
“Only if you cover mine after.” She walked by me with the plates, heading to a table with a couple that looked like they’d just met on some dating website and neither wanted to be here.
“Deal. Thanks Jess.”
“You going to the fair tonight?”she asked.
“Wasn’t planning on it, but if I do, I’ll let you know.” I was on my way to the sad excuse for a break room when Herald, my favorite fisherman, stopped me from his stool at the bar.
“You seem more chipper than I’ve seen you in a long time. Special day?” He was nibbling on the salted peanuts we left on the bar. No one but Herald ate them, so whenever Logan saw him walk in, he’d put a bowl out. I guess not too many people liked germ-covered peanuts.
“Nope. Just finding joy in the little things, I guess.”
He raised his glass in a toast-like manner. “Glad to hear it, Emerson. Always like seeing my smokeshow with a glowing smile.”
“Right back at ya’, Herald.” I winked. Assuming the conversation was done, I turned to head for the back.
“I didn’t want to pry as it’s none of my business, but we both know gossip spreads faster than an oil leak at sea around here. You and Jett okay?”
I paused before facing him again. “I’m sure you heard we broke up.” There was no reason for my heart to be picking up speed, but it felt like this was more of an interrogation than a casual conversation.
“Mary heard from Luke that you two were taking a small break.” Mary was Herald's ex-wife. If we were counting though, she was his third ex-wife. He raised an eyebrow, waiting for me to confirm or deny. Of course, it was Luke who would spread that. Should I even be surprised?
Instead of answering him, I changed the subject. “You’re still talking to the ex’s?”
He frowned, getting the message that I didn’t want to talk about it. “Don’t be jealous now. I’m single and ready to mingle.”
“I think you should leave the millennial slang to the millennials, Herald. Enjoy your drink.” I patted his shoulder and made a break for it while I had the opportunity.
If Mary knew about me and Jett, that meant the whole town knew. I figured this was going to happen, it just didn’t sit right with me that Luke was the one going around freely talking about it as if it was his business to tell.
