Page 56 of The Legend of Meneka
“You want me,” he repeats softly, and it is almost as though he is talking to himself. “But you have had me since the first moment we saw each other. You have me now, and for as long as you desire, in any way you desire. And I”—Kaushika finally lifts his head, and his eyes glitter—“I would have you free. I would have you unbound. I would have you powerful.”
My eyes widen. I see myself through his mind. Invincible. Exquisite. A goddess. Through the cocoon of warmth Kaushika has conjured, the magic in the forest roars at me, sensing my own acknowledgment of myself. I do not understand it, but I am here, and so is he, and perhaps it is because I am not weighed with Indra’s jewels anymore, perhaps it is because I am finally here asme. Magic explodes out of me in a burst of radiance in recognition of my own nature, and the both of us gasp, alive and glorious and hungry.
Kaushika grabs me around the waist and lays me down. I have only a moment to wonder that he has somehow conjured a bed ofheather, that I lie not on hard ice but on soft, cushioned moss. His hands push my knees wide, and a gasp twists from me as he bends low and drags his tongue across my entrance. My back arches, and I cry out his name. Pleasure rushes through me as his tongue finds my sensitive spot, and my fingers dig deep into his skin even as my hips rise for more.
“I—I—” Words stutter out, but he gives me no time to think. His hands push my legs wider, locking my ankles on his shoulders. His tongue nips and teases at that bud within me, licking, smoothing, circling until I am insensate, my body writhing. A spiral of heat grows within me, tighter and tighter, and my eyes fly open, my vision blurry with endless pleasure. Magic whips inside me like a cord, and my legs tremble uncontrollably. I have no questions in me, no doubts, no plans, nothing but pure pleasure. Kaushika pulls back and inserts one finger inside of me and I cry out in sweet relief, needing more.
It is too much. It is not enough. My hands scrabble at the heather, feeling the ice underneath. They reach for him, and he inserts another finger, pressing into the sensitive walls, alternating between his mouth and his hand. The double assault unmoors me.
Hot, terrifying pleasure jolts through me, and my back arches. My cry is throaty and raw as Kaushika licks me toward the waves of my orgasm, his tongue raspy and hungry.
And then I finally cannot take any more.
Ecstasy rips through me, taking all of me away with it, and nothing exists but that sensation. The white-hot agony of it spears through my back, my skull, my very bones, and power braids within me, raw and alive. Waves of infinite pleasure rush through me, one after another, until I am soaked below. I shatter in a thousand pieces of light, my mind blanking.
I am shivering as I come down from the precipice. My eyes drift open to moonlight, and I cannot believe that I broughthimhere to beseduced. That this was meant to go differently. That everything about it was somehow perfect.
I sit up and find him watching me, still at my knees. It irks me to see him fully clothed, but there is nothing like victory in his eyes. There is only humility and a wariness, like he cannot believe that he is here with me, thatheis amazed by his good fortune.
“Meneka?” he asks carefully.
I lean forward and grab the collar of his kurta in my fist. “Take your clothes off,” I command.
He arches an eyebrow at that. “We don’t have to—”
“I want to,” I interrupt. “Do you?”
Kaushika smiles. “More than anything.”
I nod. “Then take your clothes off.”
He does not argue this time. Kaushika obeys and whips his kurta off, baring his muscled chest. The trousers come off too, and he kneels above me, tall and handsome and powerful. I stroke his hardness from root to tip, and he groans, his hands burying themselves in my hair as I lean forward to kiss him—but then I pull him down in a swift movement, pushing him to his back.
Kaushika’s eyes flare as I sit astride him, my legs wrapped around his. He doesn’t say anything and neither do I as I guide his length inside me, but the moment we make contact, the both of us gasp. He grips my thighs and pushes into me until he is buried fully inside. His eyes flare and a groan rips from the both of us in how amazing he feels there, how perfect.
“Am I hurting you—” he begins, but I don’t let him finish. I move my body, and he moves his in response. It is our first time together, but it is neither gentle nor tender. It is hard and fast andrough, and Kaushika’s moans tear out of him, both our bodies sweaty as he thrusts. I place one hand on his muscled stomach, and my other grips his leg. His hands are tight enough on my waist to leave imprints.
And before the oblivion of my pleasure takes me once more, I have one final thought. I am no closer to my goals of seducing him like an apsara. I have always been lost with him. Yet tonight, I am found.
WE DO IT AGAIN.SO MANY TIMES THATILOSE COUNT.
It is sweet. It is painful. It is intoxicating. We explore each other’s bodies. We learn what makes us gasp, what makes us laugh, what makes us senseless. We slap each other’s hands away and press each other deeper. He holds me down, thrusting into me from behind, pulling my hair back and growling that he is not done when I make to move. I ride him again, and beneath me his eyes gleam, his breathing savage. His fingers crook into me, one then another, stroking, pushing until I am mindless over and over again. My mouth relieves him, sucking and lapping, taking him deep within my throat, and his back arcs, holding my head down, guiding me up and down the way he needs me.
The magic dissipates around us slowly. When he rests, eyes closed and breathing easy, I take all my discarded jewelry, even the precious crown from Indra, and toss it into the lake. I stand over it, disrobed, my hair free, staring into the water’s depths as the moon travels across the night sky and gives way to a chest of treasure. I stare at myself in the water, my reflection blurry with the ripples. My body chills, goose bumps erupting over me, but I do not shiver.
A clarity descends on me. It is not a clarity of knowledge—for I still cannot fully fathom what I have done. No. This is a clarity of being certain without knowledge. Of being certain of myself. I know its fragility and foolishness. But it is love, and what is more foolish than love? Shiva himself nearly destroyed the universe when he lost Sati.
I used magic, so strong and unfathomable that even I don’t understand it. Kaushika and I lay together. I did what Rambha asked meto do, but did I do it for her? Kaushika’s eyes are clear, burning with intelligence and kindness like they usually do. Rambha will be back soon, wanting to know how I have fared. What will I tell her?
She flickers in my mind, faded and colorless, the star-anise scent of her just a memory. I stare at my naked reflection in the pond and see how she and I could never have been. We were just marks to each other. The shape of Kaushika’s seduction, however, has always been my own. He has given me permission to love him the way I need. I have given him permission to live in my heart. And now, when I have finally been honest with myself, I can be honest with him. I can tell him who I am, and trust that he will believe my intentions.
Kaushika calls out my name, and I turn and smile.
He rises and dons his pajamas again. Bare-chested, he offers me his kurta. My sari, along with my jewels, is at the bottom of the lake. I carefully wear his shirt and tie my hair using the wooden crescent comb. I gaze at him questioningly.
“This thing you did,” he begins, then pauses, shaking his head. His hand rests idly on my waist, but his gaze takes in the forest around us, studying the golden hues of the residual magic. “Meneka, you are powerful beyond anything I can contemplate. You do not even know the extents of your limits, let alone the shape of them. If you truly allowed yourself to unleash them …”
I don’t know what to say. I follow his gaze and try to dissect what he is seeing. The golden, twinkling lights on the trees still resemble beads of fruit. I have made illusions more powerful than that, but then again, I don’t know how I did this magic now. I simply closed my eyes, waiting for Kaushika, and magic poured out of me.
