Page 6 of The Legend of Meneka
Indra’s disbelieving gaze moves from me to Rambha, but my friend’s eyes are wide. It is clear she had not expected this. Guilt pierces my cloud of haze. Maybe I should have told her what I intended, but Rambha would have tried to stop me. Besides, if Indra is going to be angry, at least she won’t be punished. It is better this way. She will not be harmed, she will walk away from it, my foolishness will not have endangered her—
Indra stands up.
Lightning crackles around him, fingertips to crown. His entire being shines with outrage. His clothes, his very skin, become so glorious that my eyes blink shut. I can hear thunder start to build beyond the palace walls, all through the city of Amaravati. My heart rattles in my chest in quickening terror as I feel him approaching me. Heat scorches me, seeking to burn the flesh from my bones. I am still on my knees, and suddenly grateful for it. My body would not support my weight right now.
Indra looms over me. His voice is dangerously soft. “Is this treason pouring from your mouth? You wish freedom from your service, daughter?”
I swallow again, and panic makes me incoherent. “N-No, my lord. It is because I wish to serve! P-Please. You allowed this of Rambha. I wish—simply consider it for me too. In the mortal realm, my devotion to you suffers, but here, living in Amaravati—the city needs this, with the magic depleting. I can—if you will allow me—”
Lightning crashes above, silencing me. “How dare you speak to me of devotion as you try to shirk your duty?” he whispers, his quiet voice deadly. “Apsaras aremyweapons.Myarmy. It is an honor to go on these missions. You will never be free from them.”
Indra’s power is too strong. My eyes water from the pressure his presence is exerting. I smell the cinnamon wine on his breath, and the fumes choke me.
Still, through the viselike grip of his magic, one thought stands clear in my head. If I accept his answer, if I’m made to go on another mission to seduce a mortal, I will forever be lost. Queen Tara’s yearning face and the faces of the other mortals I have seduced flash before me, cutting through my panic. I look toward Rambha, though I don’t dare meet her eyes.
A terrified whisper escapes me, foolishness unable to be stopped. “Please. P-Please, there must be something I can do.Something …”
“For such a treasonous demand, for such a special gift?” Indra sneers. “Perhaps if you thwarted a problem like Kaushika, I might consider it. Yet nothing less than that would be a sign of your true devotion. Now, leave my sight, daughter, before I truly get angry.”
Rambha’s hand closes on my wrist tightly in a warning not to say any more. She yanks me to my feet and gestures curtly with her head for me to follow her. Lord Indra is already turning away, disgusted.
Yet all I can think of is that such a chance will never reappear. If I don’t get my boon now, if I don’t lock Indra into a promise, I will never be able to escape my destiny, doomed into this cycle for the rest of my immortal life.
Desperation claws at me. The words hurl out of me without any further thought.
“I’ll do it,” I cry, shaking Rambha off. I am already reaching forward, my hands seeking his grace beseechingly. “Lord Indra, my lord, please,please.I’ll do it.”
He turns to me again, his face filled with surprise.
I force myself to meet his gaze, even as my entire body trembles. My own voice comes to me as though from a distance. “If you promise I never need to leave Amaravati after this deed is complete, I will seduce Kaushika. I will neutralize him so he is never a threat to you again.”
OF COURSE, IT ISN’T AS EASY.
Even though my heart pounds loud enough to be heard in all of Amaravati, Indra merely raises his eyebrows and returns to his throne to drink again. He waves his hand carelessly, and suddenly I cannot hear any more of the discussions between him and his devas.
From Rambha’s expression, she is under Indra’s enchantment too. She fumbles for me and crushes my hand in hers. Her breath comes out in shaky whispers. She doesn’t look in my direction, but her skin is too cold, her aura conversely smelling burned. A thousand doubts and questions must surely circle her mind, though she says nothing, perhaps fearing the lord’s wrath. Instead, we both stand silently next to each other, trying not to shiver. I attempt to draw comfort from her touch while my heart races with adrenaline.
I cannot believe what I’ve done. What was I thinking? I’ve never seduced a sage.
Mortal magic comes in many forms, but the strict meditation of a sage kindles its own rival power to the devas—one that can overthrow Indra, cast the lord into the mortal realm, even render his magic uselesswithinAmaravati. Sages use prana, the untainted energy of the universe, to bend the forces of reality. Only apsaras like Rambha are ever sent to seduce them, and even she was terrified when talking of Kaushika.
The sheer scope of this man dazzles me. This is swarga, the heavenly realm of the devas, and it is already suffering because of Kaushika. Very few things can destroy a celestial, but Rambha thinks that the prince-sage has killed some of the most powerful apsaras already. His irreverence for Indra is reducing Amaravati’s magic. What chance do I have?
Suddenly, I feel small. Defeated. I think back to how hard my mission with Tara was. How every seduction for her sloughed piecesof my own self away, leaving me naked and wretched. My dance is a drug I do not want to escape, but the agony and ecstasy of performing in a mission, the self-loathing and the doubt I lived in within the mortal realm—these warped my love for my art in irredeemable ways. If the experience with a mortal queen exacerbated the ever-present turmoil within me, what would the seduction of Sage Kaushika do? I want to take my reckless request back, but it is already too late. Indra’s charm lifts and all his devas watch me, inscrutable.
The lord leans forward. The anger has completely left his face. Now he looks wary, watchful. “Come forward, the both of you,” he commands.
Stumbling, we move. I am aware of Rambha only in pieces. Indra’s entire attention is on me. His overwhelming radiance drenches me from head to toe as he examines my beauty.
“How good is she?” he asks, the question directed at Rambha.
I hear a choking sound catch in her throat. “She is not the one I would pick, my lord,” Rambha whispers. “She does not even know the most useful mudras yet. She spoke out of turn. She has never challenged any sage, let alone someone as dangerous as Kaushika. For the love you bear me, lord. Please don’t let her do this.”
Indra studies her for a moment, almost coldly, before turning back to me. “Is she capable?”
It is the second time he has asked. I know Rambha does not dare refuse him a clear answer. Thoughtless though I have been, evenIunderstand the look on his face. His eyes narrow slightly in barely veiled irritation that she should think to challenge him in front of his devas, after I myself did with my boon. The corners of his mouth twist in warning; now is not the time to test his patience. It is all a subtle reminder. He is a king. Rambha, though favored, is but a courtesan.
And I, I think despairingly,I am nobody at all.
