Page 48 of The Legend of Meneka
“The meadow, yes,” Vashishta says, inscrutable. “You wrote to us saying that is where you sent the halahala. Then the poison truly was sent to your hermitage?” His question takes in our entire group this time. One by one, we nod.
Agastya and Gautama exchange glances. Vashishta nods and steeples his hands, then places them on his lap. He closes his eyes. I wonder what he is seeing behind his lids. Kaushika can certainlydo things with a snap of his fingers. Perhaps the rishi is performing magic even now, unbeknownst to us.
Sage Gautama clears his throat. “If what you say is true,” he says, “then Indra has gotten out of hand. It seems like in every age he must be taught a lesson somehow.”
Kaushika smiles in satisfaction. He opens his mouth to speak, but Vashishta holds up a hand. “Not so fast,” the sage says, eyes still closed. “I would hear from his students. They may agree with Sage Kaushika’s summation, but do they knowallof his reasons?”
His eyes open and rove over us. The other sages look curiously toward us too, and Kaushika watches, unspeaking.
“We have seen Indra’s corruption, guruji,” Romasha says, bowing. “A yogi who would be here today would tell you herself were she not ill because of Indra’s halahala poisoning.”
The others murmur their agreement, and I drop my gaze, nodding, but it is not enough.
“You, daughter.” Vashishta’s voice rings out. “Do you feel the same? I sense turmoil in your heart.”
I lift my eyes, but it is not Vashishta I see. It is Kaushika. Younger perhaps bycenturieswhen compared to all these men, he nevertheless sits tall, his eyes unfathomable. He does not move, not even a breath, and I think of what he wants me to say. I think of Rambha and her instruction, of the reason I was brought here to this man, of what I have been sent to do. I should defend Indra, but I feel paralyzed by indecision.
I only wanted for you to be true to yourself, Kaushika said to me once, and I choke because of how simple that edict is, how hard the demand. He watches me, as do the sages, and I try to clear my troubled mind, my breath coming out painfully shallow.
I do not want to seduce Kaushika. Not in the way I have been sent to do. But I do not want war, either, or the destruction of my home,the death of my sisters, and the desecration of my kin. I do not want to betray Lord Indra, he who has been my anchor for all my life. Despite everything I have heard, everything I have seen, how can I wish harm on the lord when his glory and splendor have surrounded me all my life? In my mind’s eye, I see Amaravati’s radiance, the delight and joy that suffuse it because ofIndra. Kaushika can dismiss the stories of the lord’s heroism as actions of the past, but I have seen Indra’s kindness too, in the way he attends to the celestials’ needs, in healing injured gandharvas and nurturing the golden horses in the stables, in tilling Amaravati’s lands each year with his own hands to renew the flow of amrit. I know what Kaushika wants me to say. Can I say those words, even to escape his wrath?
Vashishta’s forehead crinkles at my silence. “Tell me, daughter,” the sage asks again. “Doyoubelieve Indra should be taught a lesson?”
I am shaking like a leaf. My eyes lower in anguish, tears filling my eyes. “No,” I whisper. “I think the lord should be understood.”
It is one honest sentence.
It damns everything.
The mortals from the hermitage whip around to face me, their mouths falling open. Accusation bleeds from their eyes, that I should say this now when Kalyani lies in a coma, that I should betray Kaushika when I have been so intimate with him. Romasha looks furious, rage and suspicion contorting her features. Anirudh’s widened gaze darts between me and Kaushika, horrified and confused. But Kaushika himself remains unmoving. His eyes do not flicker from me.
Vashishta smiles. “Interesting strategy, Sage Kaushika. To bring a disciple here who does not agree with what you are attempting. But perhaps you bring her here to show that you do indeed have some wisdom. To not simply surround yourself with lackeys but with those who would oppose you, too, and bring you to heel.”
“I bring her here because she deserves to be here,” Kaushika says evenly. “But you are not wrong, rishi. Shedoeschallenge me, more than any other. I bring her here to show you that I have heard the arguments for Indra. I even respect them to a degree. Yet my mind is made up, and especially after the halahala, I am hopeful your own wisdom shows you the necessity of my actions.”
His words are reassuring, but the indifferent tone in which he utters them raises my panic. I cannot read him, but I know that if he begins to hate me, something within me will wither and die.
Vashishta stands up. “The necessity of your actions?” he repeats coldly. He faces Kaushika, and suddenly it is as though there is no one else in the tent but these two men. “The halahala is concerning, and the rest of the sages and I shall plead with Shiva to take it away, since you yourself have failed to do so.” Kaushika flinches at that, but Vashishta fixes Kaushika with his gleaming eyes. “Yourmeadow, however, is an abomination.”
Kaushika jumps to his feet, and the other sages rise slowly, wariness in their movements.
“How can you say that?” Kaushika challenges. “After what I have told you. After the attack on my own hermitage.”
“Precisely,” Vashishta says. “Your hermitage. Your past.Your vow.” The last words are a whip, and Kaushika recoils.
“My vow has little to do with this.”
“Then you have told them about what you intend with the meadow?” Vashishta sneers. “You have told them what they are part of, what they are building karma for instead of seeking enlightenment?”
Kaushika lifts his chin. “They know the meadow is a safe haven.”
“Ah, yes,safe, because the great Sage Kaushika is defying the evil god Indra.” The older rishi laughs, and the sound is like rocks crashing. “You, daughter,” he says, glancing at me once again. “You areteaching him about reconciliation, are you not? The path of the Goddess? How well are you teaching him, if he still insists on this?”
I tremble where I stand. How does he know this? Does he also know I said those words only to shatter the ascetic path of the yogis? Or has he guessed at my relationship with Kaushika? Vashishta is so much older than Agastya and Gautama; he is ancient when compared to Kaushika. I am an infant in front of him, and as a sage, he pierces the veil of maya to see beyond into reality. My vision blurs. I tremble so hard that it is as if a chill has overtaken me. He will incinerate me where I stand, and if he doesn’t, then Kaushika will, simply to return to the Mahasabha’s good graces, simply to save face when I have deceived and betrayed him so.
“Leave her out of this,” Kaushika snaps. He stalks over to stand next to me. “She has nothing to do with this.”
Vashishta simply ignores him. He moves toward me as well, and his hands reach up to my shoulders. I gaze up to him through my terrified tears, unable to resist, too dazzled by his aura and power. Even Kaushika feels diminished, though he is standing right next to me.
