Page 41 of The Legend of Meneka
Kaushika’s eyes flash. “You think you can question me? I amSageKaushika. You are here at my indulgence.”
“Sage,” I scoff, inserting every bit of contempt I can gather into the word. “You are endangering the entire hermitage. That poison was meant for you, was it not? What actions of yours necessitate this from a foe? You are hiding things from all of us. Don’t deny it.”
Kaushika surges forward, so fast that I stumble back. “Are you not hiding things?” he counters. “How did you know it was halahala at all, when no one else here could tell? What magic did you just do, in your attempt tohelpme? You have been lying about yourself from the very start, and if you cannot be truthful, you have no place here.”
I stare at him, at the fury in his eyes like earth erupting. Anger and hatred throb within me—hatred like I have never felt before.
“I saved your life,” I hiss. “This is the thanks I get?”
A growl rolls in his throat, sending a coil of terror through me. Kaushika grabs my shoulders and shakes me hard.“You could havedied, you foolish woman. Your very soul could have been extinguished had the halahala touched you. If anything had happened to you—”
He cuts himself off, breathing harshly.
I am too shocked to say anything. I stare at him and see lurking under his fury a deep, pained terror.
We both step back from each other. In a corner of my mind, I realize that the shield encasing us has fallen. That there are others in the pavilion, standing in clusters, staring at us. They have seen and heard everything—the magic Kaushika and I did, the portal he opened, the way we stood together, this fight, and his words.
Kaushika’s composure slams back into him. His face growsimpassive and cold, and his body straightens, ever the prince, ever the sage. His eyes find Anirudh and Romasha as they hurry toward us. “Await my return,” he commands. “I must contain the damage to the meadow before it kills anyone there.”
Air ripples again, the same portal opening.
Kaushika steps into the darkness, the doorway sealing behind him.
CHAPTER 17
Iwatch over Kalyani.
Vaguely, I am aware that we are taken to Kaushika’s own hut. In a corner of my mind, I remember the last time I was here, when I was trapped by his warding. Anirudh and Romasha would have killed me then, or at least detained me until Kaushika did the deed.
I recall all of this, but I cannot work up the interest to ponder the memory any deeper. I sit down on the only stool within the hut and take Kalyani’s hand in mine while Anirudh and Romasha murmur to each other.
Neither of them has mentioned my fight with Kaushika, nor the magic I did. I myself cannot get it out of my mind. I should have destroyed him then and there. Instead, I was weak. When I tell Rambha of this—and I know I must—she will be furious. She might even tell Indra, and who knows what the lord will do? He could exile me for this act of betrayal alone. I will never see Amaravati or Rambha again.
The thought chokes me. I try to erase the feel of Kaushika’s touch from my skin, erase the memory of his anguished face and those words that seemed so sincere.If anything had happened to you …Kalyani lies breathing slowly on the cot, and I think of what the poison could have done to her. Did Indra truly send this to the hermitage? Is it because he does not trust in my ability to finish the job? Is the lord becoming desperate enough to resort to such an evil deed? I told Rambha how the hermitage is warded, and she would have been duty-bound toshare her information with him. Did Indra hear this news and plan to send the poison here in this form?
“No,” I say out loud, vehemently. I cannot believe it. Iwillnot.
This is no mere matter of an irreverent village. Halahala could destroy all three realms. Even Indra would not dare. I myself have heard him lament how halahala remains in his care, yet he cannot touch it. But if not he, then who?
Kalyani murmurs in her sleep, and I lay a stilling hand on her.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper. “You are my friend, and I know if you could speak, you would tell me Indra is to blame for this. But if so …” Tears choke me. “How can everything I’ve believed be wrong? He is a deva, and loyalty is all I know. That has always been my path, even if I have questioned it. Have I been wrong to be devoted?”
“You have not,” Kaushika answers. “But consider who you must give your devotion to. And why.”
I stand up slowly. I did not hear him come in. How long has he been there? What did he hear of what I said? I search back to whether I revealed anything dangerous, but Kaushika merely glances at me—a quick, inscrutable look that makes me squirm—and enters his home.
There is no indication of the man who spoke so brazenly to me before. Instead of heat and anger, he looks tired. He crouches next to Kalyani and takes her wrist in his hand, counting her pulse. I notice the shadows under his eyes, the stubble that rakes his cheeks. His hair is no longer in a topknot, but falls in gentle waves to his shoulders. His clothes are different too, no longer ones of a sage or a yogi but of nobility, the pale cream kurta embroidered with delicate gold, the pajamas that are edged with zari. Where has he been that he must dress like this? He looks younger. Softer.
Kaushika counts Kalyani’s breaths for a long, silent minute. Finally, he sighs. “She will be all right. The poison was in a dilute form,and we acted quickly. We will use as much of our collective power in the hermitage to heal her as we can spare.”
A rush of relief loosens the knots in my shoulders. Kaushika rises and we stare at each other. Memory resurges in me of how we were holding each other. How hot his hands were on my body. The intoxicating scent of his skin.
He must be thinking of the same thing. Pinpoints of color appear on the very tips of his cheekbones. An unrecognizable awkwardness steals over me, as though I am not an apsara at all.
“I want to apologize,” he says formally. “For what I said. For the way I said it. You did save my life. Thank you.”
I nod. Kalyani stirs, muttering in her sleep again, and Kaushika clicks his fingers. The candle dims. We are plunged in shadow, but at his gesture I follow him past the single room toward the second door that leads out to a tiny veranda. We sit together at the one step to the threshold. From here, I can see the meditation garden, although there is no one there this late in the night. The hymns have become quieter, audible only through the melodic hum of magic. A hundred thousand stars glimmer in the sky. The whispers of the breeze, the scents of rosewood, the sheer solidity of him next to me … it is almost peaceful. I want to stay in this companionable silence. Yet there are questions to ask.
