Page 90 of The Surviving Sky
“It’s not something to be controlled, Iravan. It’s something to be embraced. I see that now. You’ll see too.”
Iravan’s humorless laugh rang out, disturbing the quiet of the starlit sky.
“So, that’s it, then?” he asked, bitterly. “That’s my inevitable fate? After all this? After theExam—aftereverything? Did it start the same way with you? Did you feel a Resonance too?”
Bharavi shook her head in amusement. “Resonance. Yes, that’s quaint.”
“What is it?”
“A sign of Ecstasy. But you accept that now, don’t you?” For a moment, her shoulders dropped in regret. “I tried to veer you away fromit—sendyou back to Ahilya, when you told me about it after the landing. But you succumbed to it so easily. Do you know why?”
“Don’t—”
“Because in your heart you know how right Ecstasy is.”
“That’snot—”
“It’s too late for you now,” Bharavi said, leaning back. “You’ve associated with this Resonance too much. Your ascent is even faster than mine. What you did in the jungle, that was sign enough. And then thelibrary—”
“That was you, then?” Iravan said. He’d worked it out in the last few hours, but hearing her confirm it made the weight in his heart heavier. “That other force that knocked me out?”
Bharavi nodded.
“You helped me,” he said, hearing the note of childish hope in his own voice.
“Helped you? I suppose I did, but it was accidental. I defeated an irritating obstruction.”
Spiralweed, he thought, feeling the deathbox still in his pocket. “How did you know of the attack in the library?”
Bharavi grinned at him. “Iwas…supertrajecting at the time.”
“That’s why the Maze Architects didn’t sense the spiralweed in the Moment. You were holding it back.”
“Yes.”
“You were protecting the ashram. You still care.”
She said nothing, but her indulgent smile spoke volumes.Believe whatever makes this easier for you.
Iravan’s mouth cracked into an identical twisted smile. “Still couldn’t defeat the weed, could you? Despite your supertrajection?”
“I’ll admit your help was welcome.”
Iravan snorted softly, and for a while they sat in silence, watching each other across the glass. She looked so at peace with herself that something within Iravan’s chest leapt in hot envy.
“What about Tariya and the boys?” he said, and at this, his voice choked, some of his restraint slipped.
Bharavi’s face grew sad, shadows drawing over it.
“I loved them, didn’t I?” she asked softly.
You still do, he thought in anguish, but he whispered, “Very much.”
She said nothing, but her mouth trembled. Unreasonably, this indication of grief and indecision escalated his anger. Iravan remembered Ahilya’s face as the bark closed in the temple. He had seen Tariya’s face in his wife’s; he had seen Kush and Arth.
“You said balance was possible,” he said harshly. “You said you could do it. Then do it.”
“It’s not that easy. Manav was right.”
