Page 78 of The Surviving Sky
His gaze darted around. Velvety black leaves shaped like teardrops grew all over the ceiling, floor, and walls. Light glimmered from dispersed sungineering glowglobes, but veristem soaked it up hungrily. The councilors waited inside. The missing rudra beads weighed heavier than ever before on Iravan. It hit him then: he was there, he was with his friends, but he wasn’t one of the council. For the first time, he realized how menacing the veristem garden was. The plant was a distorted window, intent on showing everyone nothing but the horrifying truth.
Bharavi turned to look at him. Iravan swallowed, tasting sourness in his mouth.
“I’m not ready for this,” he said, his voice cracking. “Please. You have to intervene.”
A part of him knew how futile his words were. How many times had he heard similar words from other architects he had tested? The Examination of Ecstasy didn’t always result in excising an architect, but it forever stripped away an architect’s dignity. The Exam forced an architect to see themselves for who they were, in all their shame, all their degradation.
Bharavi’s hands gripped his shoulders, and she pulled him down to look into her eyes.
“I won’t survive this, Bha,” Iravan whispered. “Please.”
“Remember who you are,” she replied fiercely, her eyes glinting in anger.
And then she was walking away inside the chamber to join the other councilors. Iravan saw their shapes. He heard their mutters. They turned and looked into the stairwell where he hid, but there was no place to hide. He tried to straighten his shoulders, but the effort was too much. So, this was how the architects who were tested felt. He had only seen Manav’s Exam face-to-face, but he had never fully understood the desperation. He had never appreciated the blinding terror.
For a split second, Iravan had the mad urge to turn and run, but that would be as good as admitting his guilt. A sense of cold unreality descended over him. He walked in slowly, but it was like someone else’s feet trod on the black leaves. Someone else was hearing the doorway creak close behind him.
Airav and Bharavi watched his approach impassively, but Chaiyya’s round face was awash in naked pity. The Senior Architect was holding back tears. Unexpectedly, anger rushed through Iravan. Bharavi’s words rang in his ears,Remember who you are. Iravan straightened his back, lifted his chin, and closed the last few feet between them.
“I’m here,” he said.
His voice sounded cold even to himself.
No one replied. None of the other three Senior Architects had entered the Moment, he could see. Confrontation with such a high concentration of truth-plants in the Moment could be a harrowing experience.
It was what awaited him.
Iravan was going to annihilate his own mind.
He tried to hold on to the indignation that had arisen at Chaiyya’s pity, but already the feeling was dissipating. Thesepeople—theywere his friends, his colleagues, his mentors; they would take no joy from the Exam. He had been in their position before. Iravan stared at them, not trusting himself to speak.
A golden light shimmered above him. Laksiya and Kiana rose from the corners of the veristem garden, dusting their hands. They’d activated the deathchamber. The glowglobes inside the deathchamber cut out, instantly pushing them all into dimness, emphasizing the stark darkness of the garden. The only light came from the sungineering devices far in the stairwell. Iravan’s heart began to beat harder. Sweat drenched him, soaking his already-damp clothes. The two Senior Sungineers joined the others.
This was happening.
It was beginning.
Iravan’s knees began to shake as Laksiya turned her penetrating gaze on him.
“You’re summoned here, Iravan, because the council of Nakshar believes you are at risk of Ecstasy. We believe you are an active threat to the ashram which if left unchecked will result in Nakshar’s destruction. It is only the safety of the ashram that dictates the necessity of this Exam. Let the veristem be testament to my words and our intent.”
None of the plants in the deathchamber bloomed white. Iravan hadn’t expected them to. She was telling the truth.
Airav nodded and Laksiya and Kiana moved away, out of sight, to stand behind Iravan. The other three spread apart as well, Bharavi right in front of him, Airav and Chaiyya on either side, enclosing him in a small circle.
Bharavi’s voice echoed in his mind,Remember who you are, and he thought, in sudden despair,Who am I?He was about to find out.
“Keep your eyes on me,” she said softly. With no trajection allowed inside the Exam’s deathchamber, only primitive methods of checking an architect’s health functioned. Bharavi would watch for the dilation of his eyes, for abnormal tics and strains. The others stood ready to intervene if seizures occurred.
“You will be tested on adhering to the limits of trajection,” Laksiya called out from behind him. “Prepare yourself.”
Iravan thought of the Resonance and his escape from the jungle. The deathbox containing the spiralweed dug into him through his kurta; he had pocketed it, not knowing. He had broken the limits of trajection so many times.
“You’ll be tested on your commitment to the safety of the ashram,” Laksiya continued. “Prepare yourself.”
The memory of crushing Naila’s rudra bead flashed in his head. He’d sent her away to the watchpost. He’d endangered the entire ashram. Consumed by his anger, he’d nearly killed Ahilya and Dhruv in the solar lab. He swallowed. He was going to fail. They would excise him.
“You’ll be tested on your material bonds,” Laksiya said. “Prepare yourself.”
