Page 105 of The Surviving Sky
“I won’t leave you, Chaiyya,” Iravan said, tiredly.
“Then come with us,” she said, wiping her face. “I will have to slow the poisoning of the healbranch, and there are details about our situation we need to discuss. You are still a Senior Architect and a councilor of Nakshar.”
34
AHILYA
Tariya was awake in the infirmary, silent tears trickling down her face, when Ahilya walked in.
Grown in the lowest tier of a giant neem tree, the infirmary had been reduced to a long, narrow hall crammed with healbranch beds. Ahilya remembered how it had once been: a five-story structure with private chambers for different kinds of patients. Now nearly a hundred beds were occupied, bodies rustling under thin linens while nurses walked from one to another, adjusting glass vials and bringing healing potions. Ahilya averted her gaze. The nurses were dressed in their everyday scrubs, but the clothing only reminded her of Oam. Even the conversation with the attendant in the front had been painful. Ahilya had been told that Kush was sent to the temple to speak to a Maze Architect. Her ten-year-old nephew had taken his baby brother with him. Deciding to check on them later, Ahilya strode to Tariya and sat down on the bed beside her sister.
Tariya’s beauty had dimmed like a flower closing. Her raven hair was knotted. Her skin appeared ashy. She no longer wore a bindi on her forehead, and on Tariya the absence of the red dot was striking. Ahilya had never kept to the old ways, and Iravan had cared little, but more than anything, this sign of widowhood on her sister startled Ahilya. She withdrew a comb from her pocket, adjusted herself, and silently began brushing Tariya’s hair.
Ought she to tell Tariya of what Iravan had said, of what he had done? What purpose would it serve? Besides, now, in the wake of the council meeting, this truth hardly mattered. She brushed her sister’s hair, unraveling one knot after another, her mind still gripped by the losses they both had suffered.
She could hear Iravan’s voice in her head:I didn’t just want a child, Ahilya. I wantedourchild. She saw his jaw clench, saw him pace their apartment, declaring his love, declaring how he would be anyone she wanted him to be. She couldn’t fathom what had driven him to say those words. In that instant, Iravan hadn’t surrendered, no; he had abased himself out of an arbitrary terror. He had been willing to give her who he wasblindly—nowthey’d both lost each other anyway. Ahilya’s eyes grew wet, and she put down the hairbrush.
Tariya dropped her head in her hands. “I miss her so much.”
“She—Itshould not have happened. Bharavi should never have died.”
Tariya shook her head, her body shuddering. “There was no other way. She was an Ecstatic. You don’tknow…what excisiondoes…”Tariya brushed her fingers to her eyes, but as her gaze met Ahilya’s, she paused. “Youdoknow. How?” Her eyes traveled to Ahilya’s stomach. “Are you andIravan—”
“We’re not pregnant,” Ahilya said hurriedly.
“But you know?”
Ahilya held her sister’s gaze.It’s only a matter of time before the secret is out. The spouses of architects don’t make a healbranch vow. She nodded slowly.
Tariya let out a bitter sound halfway between a laugh and a sob. “So, he did it. He finally did it. Always he rebelled against Bharavi. More than his healbranch vow, it was she who stood in his way of sharing excision’s secret. I can see that he wasted no time after her death.” Tariya wiped her nose, her voice vicious. “If you know about excision, then you know about their pact.”
Anger rippled through Ahilya, leaving her muscles weak. She had already worked it out, that Bharavi would have told Tariya of thepact—thetwo women had their children; Bharavi had no need for the secret Iravan had been forced to keep. Ahilya took a deep breath, trying to control her rage, but it simmered in her, the horror and anger from the last two days churning to the surface. She had not come there to the infirmary to fight with Tariya, but this blatant admission she could not dismiss.
“You knew,” she rasped, unable to keep the accusation out of her voice. “How could you let them do this? You who understand the need for healing. The power of life over death. You who have battled your owndespair—howcould you let it take themover—thatthey believed there was no other choice.”
“You think I didn’t try to stop Bharavi?” Tariya’s body shuddered. “This was her decision; there was nothing I could do about it. She didn’t want to live in thatmanner—”
“And you let Iravan make that choice, too. But you didn’t think to tell me?”
“Would you have let him go?” Tariya spat. “If their roles were reversed, if it was Iravan who was the Ecstatic, would you have allowed Bharavi to kill him?”
“I would have found another way! I would have torn the ashram asunder to find a different solution! I wouldneverhave let it come to this.”
“Thereisno other way. You think the architects haven’t searched for another solution? BharavistudiedEcstasy, Ahilya. She knew how hard, how impossible rehabilitation would be. And you think you’d find the answer?” Tariya began to cry again. She covered her face with her fingers. “All you ever did was fight the architects. You wanted what they had so badly that you never truly saw what you had. And now Bharavi is dead while Iravan is alive. How could any of us tell you this? What wouldyouunderstand of it?”
Ahilya stood up, shaking with anger. Her sister wept, convulsing, her head in her hands. Sobs wracked her body, the shudders painful to watch.
Ahilya’s fury left her as soon as it had come.
She dropped back on the bed and held her sister as she cried. Over and over again, she stroked Tariya’s head, murmuring to her.
Eventually, Tariya stopped. She pushed Ahilya away and turned on the bed, her back to her.
Ahilya rose slowly.How could any of us tell you this? What would you understand?
Iravan had told her. He’d known she’d understand.
What had her responsibilitybeen—herown choices? She had no clear answer, no clear manner in which to think anymore. Her head dizzy, Ahilya walked away from the infirmary, her heart breaking into tiny pieces.
