Page 83 of The Golden Boy's Guide to Bipolar
“Oh,” I say, not knowing what else to say. With all the panic attacks I’ve been having lately, it might actually be a good idea to take his advice. “Thanks...”
“Take it,” he says, handing me the water bottle. “I think you need it more than me. Anyways, gotta get back to class.”
Then he’s gone.
I refill the water bottle before I start sneaking out of the house for the second astronomy night with Jamal. I have a feeling I might need it. But when I leave the bathroom and pass through the living room, the light turns on.
“Where do you think you’re going?” Mami sits on the recliner with her arms crossed, staring at me like she’s a movie mastermind and I’ve just fallen into her trap. Which I kind of have.
“Were you just sitting there waiting this whole time?”
“Where are you going?” she asks again.
I groan. There’s no use lying to her now. The truth is probably way less incriminating than whatever she has in mind.
“It’s for my senior project. I have to observe the stars with Jamal. He’s my astronomy partner.” I can hear that it sounds like a lie coming from my mouth. Especially after the hell of a year I’ve given my mom. Still, she doesn’t accuse me.
“Bring Yamilet with you, then,” Mami says, as if it’s completely normal to make your daughter wake up late at night to go watch her brother and his ex do homework.
“What? I’m not doing that.” I cross my arms like this is a game of chicken, waiting to see which one of us will back down first.
“Yamilet goes with you, or you’re not going.”
“But it’s for school!” I protest, but Mami doesn’t unfold her arms or un-Mom her expression.
“Yamilet!” Mami calls out, and I rush over to her.
“Mami, stop!” I whisper-yell. Partly because I really don’t want Yami coming with us. It would make our awkward situation even worse. But also because I’ve been enough of a burden to Yami already. I’m supposed to be moving past that stage in my life.
But it’s too late. Luckily, Yami doesn’t seem like she was asleep yet, so when she opens her door and walks into the living room, she doesn’t look quite as angry as she could or should be.
“What’s going on?” Yami asks, eyes flip-flopping between me and our mom.
“Your brother needs you to go with him on a trip. For school.”
“But—” Yami and I both start to protest, but Mami shushes us with a raised finger.
“I’m not letting him go out alone right now.” She says that part like it’s code for something else. Like Yami should know exactly what she’s talking about, even if I don’t.
“But I’ll be with Jamal!” I say, but neither of them listens.
“Okay, I’ll go with him,” Yami says, ignoring me like I’m not even there.
“Seriously?” I ask, but she ignores me again.
“But only if I can bring Bo.” She grins.
Mami sighs and pinches the bridge of her nose. “Fine. Bring whoever you need to. But don’t leave him alone.”
Yami nods and gets out her phone to call Bo.
“She’ll meet us there,” Yami says after telling Bo she’ll text her the location, then hangs up. “Jamal’s here waiting already, no?”she asks as she makes her way for the front door like she expects me to follow. And, because I basically have no other choice, I do.
“Make sure he gets home safe,” Mami says before we shut the door behind us.
Yami rolls her eyes, and I know what Mami just said got to her. Mami loves both of us, sure, but I’m the problem child. I’m the one who needs protecting. I’m sure it makes Yami feel like our mom doesn’t care about her. Like I’m the only one who needs to be brought home safe.
Yami takes the front seat of Jamal’s car, and for a second, I forget she hates me. For a second, I think this is her messing with me, making fun of how I always used to get shotgun in Bo’s car even though Yami was her girlfriend. But Yami’s not laughing. And Jamal’s not my boyfriend.
