Page 54 of The Golden Boy's Guide to Bipolar
“Um, to the room?” I’m really not in the mood to be around people. Back home, I’d just hide myself in my room whenever I was in one of these moods. Apparently, that’s not a thing you can do in this house, though.
“No, you’re not. You still have homework and chores to do.”
“Well, then I have to pee,” I say, trying a different approach. I can’t just go straight into doing my homework right now. I needsomekind of alone time, even if it’s just a few minutes in the bathroom.
She squints at me like she knows I’m lying but doesn’t stop me. As I head over to the bathroom, I can hear Moni asking about game night again. She wants to play games tonight since she’s going to visit her dad for the weekend. Apparently she’s still in toomuch trouble to move back home just yet, but at least her dad still wants to see her.
I’m definitely not looking forward to being here alone, but I’ll deal with that when I get there. For now, I lock myself in the bathroom. I don’t have my usual eye drops to keep my eyes from looking red, so when I see myself in the mirror, I’m taken aback a little. I look like I’m either tired as hell or stoned out of my mind. I guess it makes sense since I haven’t slept much the last couple of days, even in class. But apparently all the energy I’ve been having isn’t translating to my baggy, bloodshot eyes.
I go to the end of the bathroom farthest from the door and sit on the ground with my back against the wall. My mind starts to fog a bit like it does when my body desperately needs to rest but my brain doesn’t want to.
I clasp my hands together and close my eyes to focus. I got a little bit out of my after-school prayer routine when I first got here since I was in between schools, but I’m starting to get back to it.
“Thank you for answering my prayers and sending me Bianca,” I whisper. And yeah, it feels gross to be thanking God for Bianca of all people after what she did to Yami, but she truly is the answer to my prayers. Besides, Father John did always say God works in mysterious ways.
Before I can finish praying, the whole room gets all wavy and reflective, like it’s a mirror I could slip through at any moment.
The lights in the bathroom flood the room in white, and I can’t see a thing. It’s like I’m staring right at the sun. No, more like an eclipse, because there’s something standing in front of the bright light. Someone.
It almost feels like a mirage, but I don’t have to chase it anymore.
I’m right here.
He’sright here.
I squint and use my hand as a visor. This can’t be happening. But itis. “...God?”
“I am here, my son.” His full voice bellows around the room, probably echoing throughout the entire house.
“What are you doing here?” My eyes widen despite the brightness. I’m really talking to God right now. And he’s talking back!
“Hear my message,” he says. “You are meant for more than this.”
“What do you mean?” I ask.
“You are meant to join me. To come home.”
“I know that,” I say. “That’s why I’ve been wanting to...” I trail off.
“When the time to act is right, I will call you to come home.”
My eyes start to water. He wants me in heaven. Hewantsme there.That’swhere I’m meant to be, not this hell on earth.
I just have to wait for God to call on me.
“Cesar!” Moni calls out, banging on the bathroom door, which jolts me awake. “You okay in there?”
I have no idea how long I fell asleep for, but it must have been long enough for Moni to worry, because she’s banging really hard.
“Do I need to knock down that door?” Abuela yells after not even that long of me not answering.
“Abuela, no! I’ll do it!” Moni says, probably worried Abuela would break a shoulder or something.
“I’m okay,” I call out groggily as I crawl up from the floor and use the toilet to help me to my feet.
When I open the door, they both stare at me with wide eyes like something’s incredibly wrong, but I can’t for the life of me figure out what.
“What happened to your face?” Moni asks, and Abuela grabs my cheeks with her hands, inspecting it. “Te caíste?”
