Page 34 of The Golden Boy's Guide to Bipolar
She finally smiles and holds her arms out for a hug. I put the spatula down and fall into it.
“Love you, Mami,” I say softly.
“I love you too, mijo. So, so much. Thank you for this.”
“Um, what happened in here?”
Mami and I pull away to find Yami wandering the living room and looking around. Her eyes catch the coffee table, where I’ve organized all their jewelry by color.
“I cleaned!” I beam.
“You rearranged the jewelry?” She sounds like she’s biting back some kind of emotion. Happiness? Relief? “How are we supposed to know which order is which?” Her voice is a little louder now. Okay. Um, maybe that’s anger.
“Oh, I... I didn’t realize—” I start, but Mami interrupts.
“It’s okay, mijo. We’ll figure it out! Thank you for cleaning!”
Then I realize her smile is forced. Like she’sstillwalking on eggshells.
“Yamilet, thank your brother for his hard work,” Mami says, enunciating through her fake-smiling teeth, eyes darting from me to Yami like she’s afraid a bomb might go off.
“You don’t have to thank me,” I say before Yami has to swallow her pride to thank me for giving her more work. “I’ll fix it, okay?”
“I know you were trying to help, but... this is gonna takehoursto figure out,” Yami says, rubbing a frustrated hand down her face.
“I said I’ll fix it. There’s nothing to worry about, okay?”
“Thank you, Cesar,” Mami says, putting a hand on my shoulder and squeezing.
I don’t know what it is about the touch, but it’s like she detonated that bomb she was so afraid of setting off. I shake her hand off, unable to control my outburst. It’s like all the high energy that kept me feeling so good all night turns on me out of nowhere. The energy is there, but now that there’s nowhere productive to channel it, it turns sour and uncontrollable.
“Don’t touch me!” I shout, then run to my room and slam the door.
Okay, logically IknowI’m overreacting. I know something isn’t right here, but I can’t help it.
Even when I try to make things right, all I’m capable of is fucking everything up.
14
When Everything Is Perfect Until It’s Not. Until It Is Again! Until It’s Not
Mood Swings
By the time I get to school, the events of the morning have slipped through my hands like a wet bar of soap. I don’t even remember why I was mad, and I don’t care. It doesn’t matter anymore. All that matters is that my grades will go up now, which means Yami and my mom have to be at least alittlerelieved, even if I am a fuckup.
I don’t even fall asleep in class all day. It’s like the colors are brighter, the food tastes better, the air is crisper. Hell, Mr. Franco’s voice even sounds nice for once.
In the car on the way home, Mami looks at me like she’s worried, but my smile makes her relax a little bit. I feel like she’s about to bring my mood crashing down by mentioning this morning, so I start talking first.
“I finished all my late work! My scholarship is officially safe.”
“¡Eso!” Yami says from the back seat, and Mami beams.
“I knew you would,” she says, even though I know it’s a lie. Still, it doesn’t matter right now.
When we get home, the first thing I do is help Yami and my mom fix the jewelry shit I fucked up. It only takes about an hour and a half with all three of us working, then I get straight to my homework, which I’m already ahead on after last night.
Yami knocks on my door a bit after I finish. She doesn’t wait for me to answer before opening it and coming right in.
