Page 12 of The Golden Boy's Guide to Bipolar
“Hey kid, do you wanna get high? ’Cause I have free drugs,” one of the guys says as he pretends to open up an imaginary trench coat full of said drugs. “It’s the good kind.”
“I love getting high, but I don’t need your drugs,” David says, and I can already tell he’s trying to keep from laughing. “The only thing I need to get high on is Jesus’s love for me.”
There are a few stifled laughs at that, but David stays impressively in character. Him being an atheist makes this a hundred times more hilarious. If only it was the norm to be offered free drugs by random students, like every adult at this school somehow thinks it is. I bet Father John wrote the script himself and thinks it’s great.
“Only losers don’t do drugs,” one of the other actors says, and they pretend to laugh at David while they all give him a thumbs-down.
“Doing drugs is a sin, and sinning isn’t cool,” David says with his arms crossed in a challenge.
“Whatever, it makes me feel good,” one of the guys shoots back. So far, that’s the only realistic part of this skit.
“If you really want to feel good, you go to confession and repent. Forgiveness feels better than drugs,” David says with prayer hands. Mr. Franco cuts in at that, making the time-out signal with his hands and stepping forward.
“We also have an excellent guidance counselor for anyone who’s struggling to feel good. There are plenty of adults at this school you can trust if you need help,?” Mr. Franco says, bringing the vibe of the room down for a moment. I almost scoff at the comment.I’ve gotten detention for chewing gum, so I doubt anyone could admit to doing drugs here and not get in trouble. “Consider dropping by for a counseling session after confession.” He goes back to the sidelines, then gestures at David. “Go ahead.”
“Do you even know the sacraments, bro?” David jumps back in without skipping a beat, as the other actors just stare at him like they’ve never heard the word “confession.”
“I know the sacraments!” one of the guys insists, while holding back a laugh at David’s ironic earnestness.
I know it’s all kind of a joke to them, but it does give me a twinge of guilt. Like, maybe I should talk to Father John about Jamal again, just in case. Maybe it doesn’t have to be like last time. I can present my case like I did with Dr. Lee.
“Oh, good! Because Father John opens up the confessional before school and at lunch every Friday. Peer pressure is bad, so peers, press your palms together and pray for forgiveness. Amen.”
“Amen,” the rest of them chime in.
They all bow, and David finally breaks character as he grins at me and waves. I give him a thumbs-up and he makes sarcastic prayer hands at me before they shuffle out, bursting into laugher once they’re out of the room.
Mr. Franco clears his throat. “All right, speaking of forgiveness...” He doesn’t waste any time before he starts passing our tests back from Monday. “Some of you might want to repent when your parents see these scores.”
“Tests aren’t cool, the sacraments are,” someone says, followed by a few laughs, and then everyone starts dramatically quoting the skit to Mr. Franco when they get their marked-up tests.
“Do you even know the sacraments, bro?”
“Only losers give pop quizzes.”
“I don’t need to get high, my test score does it for me.”
“All right, all right, very funny.” Mr. Franco rolls his eyes as he hands me mine. As expected, my score of 65 percent is crossed out in red ink and replaced with a 100 percent, meaning my test set the curve.
“We basically tied on this one,” Jeremy says when he sees my score, proudly showing me his test with an original score of 63 percent.
“I won’t go so easy on you next time,” I taunt playfully, and he laughs.
“No, please do, Mr. Franco sure as hell won’t.”
At that, Mr. Franco shushes us to start reviewing the correct answers, and I find myself dozing off a bit. I didn’t sleep well last night, and Mr. Franco doesn’t make staying awake easy. Lucky for me, he doesn’t bother me, and I wake up to the sound of the bell.
It’s not like I was intentionally taking David’s skit seriously, but for the rest of my morning classes, I can’t help but feel like maybe the timing wasn’t a coincidence. Maybe there’s a reason I was supposed to get that reminder to talk to Father John. So when lunch comes around, I find myself walking toward the chapel.
Getting advice from Father John might be a good idea before I ask Jamal out. The more I think about it, the more it makes sense. If Dr. Lee is right, then good deeds count toward whether I go to heaven or hell just as much as sins do. That means Father John can do some quick priest math and tell me exactly what I need to do in order to be with Jamal and still make things right with God. It’s the perfect opportunity for me to get answers before my date tomorrow.
When I get to the chapel to meet Father John, it doesn’t really surprise me that I’m the first and probably only one to take himup on his offer. I’m sure almost everyone else at Slayton has the chance to go to confession every weekend, so they’d have no need to go at school. But since my mom and Yami work so much, we don’t really go to church at all.
There’s no line, so I walk right into the booth and sit across from the priest, who I can’t really see behind the screen.
“What’s up, Father John?” I say as I do a quick sign of the cross.
He sighs a little. “Hello, my son. What sins weigh on your heart today?”
