Page 59 of Tell Me Softly
“You can’t remember it, though?”
Kate shook her head. “All I can remember is things changed whenever he came around. My parents would fight, my mom was tense—I had these fits.”
“It can’t be easy, having your husband’s son with another woman coming around. And, like…I mean, when they had you, how old was Julian? One?”
“Something like that,” Kate said, digging into more snacks. “It’s hard to say this, but I wish sometimes he didn’t live at my house. It’s sad, but the way he just ignores us, how he never opens his mouth except to sayPass the salt, and how he locks the door to his room and blasts his music all the time…”
“I thought you guys liked each other.” This was making me ask myself a lot of questions.
“We do…but you know when someone’s trying too hard? Like, he’s nice on the surface, but I feel like maybe he doesn’t even like me.”
“It’s normal for brothers and sisters not to get along, Kate,” I said, trying to reassure her.
“Sure. But, like…I don’t know. Let’s talk about something besides my brother.”
I remembered things that Julian had told me. Was it his homosexuality that made him so reserved? Kate’s family was mega-conservative. It was probably impossible for him to even think about telling his father, his sister, and his stepmother that he liked guys…
I didn’t think about it too much more as I started cleaning up and my friends poured their first drinks into their red Solo cups.
“Are you really going to Taylor’s room?” I asked. “It would be better for everyone to party together tomorrow, after the game.” There I was, trying to be team captain again. Kate blew me off: “We’re just going to be there for a little while. Are you seriously not coming?”
I shook my head. “I’m just going to hang out and watch a movie. If I’m going to get drunk after we beat the shit out of Falls Church, I need to save my energy.”
Everyone nodded enthusiastically, and weirdly, no one but Ellie seemed to really care that I wasn’t going. Did they always have more fun without me?
Chapter Twenty-Three
Kami
It wasn’t long after the girls left that I went to Julian’s room. I knocked softly on the door. I could hear what sounded like a riot at the other end of the hall. And that told me Thiago must not have been very interested in what we were up to.
That was strange to me because he seemed like he was taking his assistant coaching job seriously. But I wasn’t about to complain. I assumed he was off with his stupid pack of condoms boning some chick he’d met in the 7-Eleven parking lot. Loser. I tried to put him out of my mind as I waited for Julian to open the door. When he did, I saw him bare-chested in a pair of gray sweatpants, barefoot, hair damp from the shower.
His torso was wiry and defined, with little freckles dotting his skin.It’s a shame you’re gay, I thought, but that was an awful thing to say. A shame for the girls, is what I meant. Any guy he got with would have the time of his life.
“I didn’t think you were coming,” he said with a grin. His brown eyes were glowing.
“I told you I would, didn’t I?”
He stepped aside to let me through. “You might have been theforgetful type. Or maybe you give in easily to peer pressure. After all, I bet your friends are having a blast down there at the other end of the motel.”
“Well, I hope you’re pleasantly surprised.” I walked in and saw two single beds—one covered in his stuff, the other empty. “You’re not sharing a room?” I asked. I felt bad that he’d have to stay there alone.
“I like hanging out by myself. Except for when it’s movie night with you. That’s obvious, right?”
I smiled and showed him Ellie’s packet of M&Ms. She’d left them in the room, and I’d decided to steal them. She hadn’t paid me back anyway, so they were technically still mine. “Sorry I couldn’t bring popcorn,” I said, “but I’d rather have chocolate anyway.”
Julian laughed, motioned for me to sit down, and said, “Me, too. What do you want to watch?”
He hit the button on the remote and looked at the streaming options. I remembered hearingThe Exorcism of Emily Rosewas good; it was supposed to be terrifying. When I mentioned it and he told me he hadn’t seen it, I remembered that it was on Netflix and told him to click on the icon.
“I don’t have an account,” he said, sounding sad.
“For real?”
He shook his head, seeming embarrassed.
“Your sister has literally seen every TV series on the planet. Every time I talk to her, she’s likedid you see such-and-such on Prime, Hulu, Netflix, HBO…?Why don’t you just text her and get her password?”
