Page 42 of Tell Me Softly
“Depends on what.”
“Are you…?” He kept his voice low, in case his mother might hear.
“You’re on the basketball team, you must know the answer to that question.”
“Rule number one: never listen to what the guys say in the locker room,” he responded.
“Rule number two: don’t ask questions about things that don’t concern you,” I countered.
“Hey, now, this is scientific. How am I supposed to do a project on sexuality with you when I don’t even know if you have any experience with the subject matter? I need to be careful, figure out what I can and can’t talk about. I don’t want to scare you…”
“You dumbass,” I said, trying to push him out of his chair as he cracked up.
“You’re probably right about that, but still. Answer me, please?”
I focused on those blue eyes I liked so much, felt the trust that he transmitted to me with his kind expression, and decided I could tell him. “I was with Danny for two years, so yeah…we did it.”
“And…how was it?”
“I don’t think I’ll answer that.”
“That means it sucked. I’m not surprised.”
“Taylor,” I said, “you were just talking about how much harder it is for girls to enjoy sex.”
“And I stand by my word.”
“Trust me, it’s not.”
“Of course it is, Kam. Check the statistics.”
“I don’t need statistics. I know my body. I know perfectly how to…”
I stopped, feeling the blood rush into my neck and cheeks as I realized what I was about to reveal to him. Taylor smiled, but his look was deep, intense, and I thought,Dammit, Taylor, don’t look at me like that!
“Were you about to tell me you touch yourself?”
“No!” I fired back.
“You do, though.”
I wanted to run out of his house, but instead, I got defensive, saying, “So? It’s perfectly natural anyway.”
“It sure is. I do it basically every day.”
I laughed and shook my head.
“And you can bet I’ll do it tonight thinking about the image you just put in my head…”
As he said that, you could hear a pin drop. My breathing quickened. He was staring straight into my soul. “I don’t think it’s appropriate for you to imagine your friend…”
“Touching herself beneath the sheets?” He interrupted me, scooting his chair closer. “OK, then, let’s make a deal. I won’t imagine you doing it to yourself, but I will imagine me doing it to you…”
For an instant, I saw that too. Me in bed, Taylor touching me, kissing me, making me enjoy sex for the first time.
“You can’t even imagine the things I’d do to you,” he finished.
How had we ended up in this situation? First we were talking about a class project on human reproduction, and now we were hinting at what we’d do to each other in bed? I guess the assignment did sort of pave the way for it; it’s just that I never thought thatwaycould exist between Taylor and me. Betweenmy friendTaylor and me.
