Page 98 of My Fault
“I have no idea how to put this stupid thing on. I need help,” I said.
“Oh, Noah, you’re so cute,” my mom said, laughing. I frowned at her.
“Don’t laugh. I look like an elf.” I took a seat across from Nicholas, who was sitting there reading the paper with a slight, almost imperceptible smile on his face.
“I’ll make your breakfast, and you can ask Nick to help you with the tie.” I looked up, uncomfortable, as Nick laid down his paper and raised his eyebrows.
My mother put on music, so I alone could hear my pounding heartbeat. I didn’t want Nick to touch me, but I didn’t know how to tie that damned thing, and I didn’t want to spend half an hour on YouTube watching tutorials about it. I stood up and walked over, eyes looking elsewhere.
Without getting up, he grabbed my waist and pulled me between his legs.
“Your uniform looks good,” he said, trying to catch my eye.
“It’s ridiculous, and I don’t want you to talk to me,” I hissed as his long fingers grazed my neck, trying to lift up the collar of my white shirt.
My mother, cooking and humming, had no idea what was happening ten feet away.
“I won’t stop talking to you, and I will get you to change your mind about me,” he said, bring his face closer to mine than was appropriate. “I want you for myself, Noah, and I won’t stop until I have you.”
What the hell? Had he lost his mind? This was Nicholas Leister—Mr. I Don’t Belong to Anybody.
His fingers touched my neck, this time on purpose. It was so sensual, I had to close my eyes to concentrate on what I was really thinking, what I really wanted. And what I wanted was not to be hurt again by Nicholas—or any other guy, for that matter.
“You done?” I asked. He stopped and observed me. Then he quickly adjusted the knot and gave it an expert look.
“Yeah. Good luck on your first day.” He got up and unexpectedly gave me a quick kiss on the cheek. I almost wanted to shout for him to hug me, hold me, take me to that stupid school in his car, kiss me until I passed out. But instead I stood there waiting to hear him go out the front door.
“Noah,” my mother said from the other end of the kitchen. I’d gotten lost in thought and hadn’t been listening to her. I turnedas she set a cup of coffee in front of me along with a letter with no return address.
“This arrived this morning,” she told me, drinking the last sip of her coffee. “It must be from someone around here. It doesn’t even have a stamp on it or a return address. Do you have any idea who it could be from?”
I shook my head, took it with trembling hands, and opened it. My mother returned to her newspaper. I was glad she did because it meant she didn’t notice how I turned completely white just then.
The handwriting was the same as the other day:
I’m watching you. You shouldn’t be here. You shouldn’t have ever come. PS. Good luck at your new school.
P.A.
I dropped it on the table in terror. This was really getting frightening. Who could be cruel enough to threaten me like that? Whoever it was had to know me pretty well because they knew I was starting school that day. Ronnie was the only person I could think of, and if that was true, then I only had one person to turn to, as much as I hated it.
I put the letter in my sweater pocket and stood up.
“Aren’t you going to finish your breakfast?” my mother asked.
“I’m too nervous. I’ll have something later,” I said, running up to my room. I grabbed the letter from before that I’d hidden in my nightstand and placed it next to this one. I was right—the handwriting was the same, the length was almost the same, too, there was just one difference: the signature.P.A.Did that mean more than one person was writing me? How could I already have enemies here? I hid the letters in a drawer and tried not to think about them. I didn’t want to be worried about something likethis on my first day. If more came, I decided I’d say something to Nicholas. I didn’t want to, but I knew he’d help.
I went downstairs again, and Mom and I got into her car and headed for school. She’d insisted on taking me. Now I regretted it. I’d have rather gone in my own car. Driving would have taken my mind off everything.
The front door of the main building was packed with students dressed in green. Some were sitting on the benches outside, others filing in. A few outside were finishing their last cigarette or just dragging the minutes on until the routine of school began. I remembered it had been the same at my school. People were already gathered into cliques and seemed happy to see their friends again after summer.
“Have a good day, honey,” my mother said. I could tell she was stirred up.
“What the hell, Mom?” I asked, laughing.
She tried to act normal but failed dramatically.
“Hush. I’m just happy you get to go here, that’s all.” She wiped away a tear.
