Page 7 of My Fault
I slammed the door behind me as I walked into my room, but the place was so big no one would hear me. It was night out, and barely any light entered my window. In the darkness, the sea was black, and I couldn’t see the dividing line between it and the sky.
Nervous, I hurriedly turned on the light.
I went straight to the bed and jumped on it, staring up at thebeams in the ceiling. To top it off, I was supposed to have dinner with them. Did my mother not realize that the last thing I felt like doing right now was being surrounded by people? I needed to be alone, to rest, to take stock of all the changes happening in my life, to accept them and learn to live with them, even if deep down I knew that was impossible.
I grabbed my phone, not sure whether to call my boyfriend, Dan. I didn’t want him to worry when he heard the bitterness in my voice. I’d only been in California an hour, and already his absence stung.
Ten minutes after I went up, my mother came in. At least she bothered knocking, but then she walked right in when I didn’t answer.
“Noah, in fifteen minutes we need to be downstairs,” she said patiently.
“You say that like it takes an hour and a half just to walk down the steps,” I responded, sitting up in bed. My mother had let her blond hair down and combed it. She looked elegant. We hadn’t even been here two hours, and already she looked like a different person.
“I’m saying this because you need to change clothes first.” She ignored my tone.
Not understanding, I looked down at my outfit.
“What’s wrong with how I’m dressed?” I asked defensively.
“You’re wearing sneakers, Noah. We have to dress up tonight. You don’t think you’re going to go out in shorts and a T-shirt, do you?” she asked, exasperated.
I stood up and faced her. My patience with this day was at an end.
“Let’s see if you can get this through your head, Mom. I don’t want to go to dinner with you and your husband, I have no interest in getting to know his spoiled demon of a son, and I’m certainly not getting dressed up for it.” I tried to control my overwhelming urge to take her car and drive off into town.
“Stop acting like a five-year-old, put on your clothes, and come to dinner with me and your new family.” Her tone was harsh. But when she saw my expression, her face relaxed, and she said, “I’m not asking you to do this every day. Just tonight. Please. For me.”
I took a few deep breaths, swallowed down all the things I wanted to say, and nodded.
“Just tonight.”
When my mother left, I walked into the closet. Disgusted with everything and everyone, I looked for an outfit that would be comfortable and that I wouldn’t hate. I wanted to show them I could be an adult, too. Nicholas’s amused, unbelieving expression as he gawked at me with his bright eyes was still stuck in my mind. He had looked at me like I was just a little girl he was having fun scaring with his horrible dog.
My suitcase was open on the floor. I kneeled down and started going through my clothes. My mother was probably expecting me to go down in something she’d bought me, but that was the last thing I was considering. If I gave in, I’d be setting a bad precedent. Accepting that clothing was like accepting this new life; it would mean losing my dignity.
In a rage, I picked my black Ramones dress. Who could say it wasn’t elegant? I looked around for some shoes. I wasn’t a shoe girl, but if I went downstairs in my Chucks, my mother would definitely lose her cool and tell me to change. Finally I chose some decent-looking sandals with a little bit of a heel—nothing I couldn’t manage.
I walked over to the giant mirror on one of the walls and looked at myself slowly. My friend Beth would certainly approve. And I think Dan had always found that dress sexy.
I let down my hair and smoothed it out, and I put a little glosson my lips. Satisfied with the result, I grabbed a small purse and headed for the door.
Just as I opened it, I found Nicholas, who stopped to look me over while that wicked Thor stood beside him. I couldn’t help taking a step back.
For some inexplicable reason, my new brother smiled, and his eyes shone with some obscure, indecipherable emotion.
“Didn’t anyone teach you how to dress out there in the boonies?” he said.
I gave him my most angelic smile.
“Yeah…but whoever tried was a dickhead, kind of like you, so I guess I never paid attention.”
He didn’t expect that answer, and I certainly didn’t expect to see a smile spread across those sensuous lips. I suddenly noticed again how tall and virile he was. He was wearing slacks and a button-down with the top two buttons undone. No tie. I didn’t let the cool blue of those eyes intimidate me. Instead, I looked over at his dog. Instead of stalking me like a killer, he was now wagging his tail with interest.
“Your dog seems completely different. Are you going to tell him to attack me now, or will you wait till after dinner?” I grinned, feigning friendliness.
“I don’t know, Freckles. Depends on how you behave.” With that, he turned his back to me and walked downstairs.
I stood still for a few seconds, trying to control my emotions. Freckles! He’d called me Freckles! He was looking for trouble…real trouble.
