Page 119 of My Fault
My mother was watching a movie with Will, and they still had a good bit of it left before bedtime.
“You staying with us, Nick?” my mother asked him, and I had to suppress a scowl. Fortunately, I don’t think she noticed.
Nicholas grinned.
“I should go up, too. I’ve got class myself. Good night,” he said, walking around the sofa and joining me.
I didn’t know if it was the feeling of doing something bad or just knowing our parents were down there and would lose it if they caught us, but when Nick pushed me against the wall in my room and stuck his hand under my shirt, it was the most exciting thing I could imagine.
“Come to my bed. Sleep with me,” he whispered in my ear. The whole time he spoke, he was kissing, nibbling, licking my neck.
“I can’t,” I moaned.
“You can’t make those noises and then tell me not to take you to bed,” he said, pressing his hips into me sexily.
I giggled and closed my eyes.
“My mother could come up at any time, Nicholas,” I said as he skillfully squeezed my left thigh. “I don’t want her to have a heart attack.”
“You’re coming with me anyway,” he said, dragging me off.
“No!” I shouted, digging my heels into the floor. I had no idea what we were going to do now that we were together and living under the same roof with my mother and his father, but I knew there had to be some kind of rules or self-control in place.
He stopped, noticed the noises downstairs, and realized I was right.
“I love you,” he said, giving me a quick peck on the lips. “If anything happens, you know where I am.”
“I do. Second door on the left.”
I closed the door. I needed to analyze everything that had happened. I needed…to catch my breath.
Everything that had happened those past few days had sunk me in a cloud of contrary thoughts and feelings. I was happy when I was with Nick: I didn’t know if it would last a long time, since we had a tendency to clash, or at least it had seemed that way over the past few months. Either way, I was crazy about him. I had hidden it, even from myself, but now it was out, and I couldn’t stop thinking about it, especially knowing he was just a few feet away. It was hard not to go looking for him when I had trouble sleeping, but I forced myself. I had to learn to keep my distance from him. But when I wasn’t with him, my every thought turned to my father and his threatening letters. I still didn’t know if I should tell anyone…why? He was in jail, and I wasn’t even sure if he was the one sending them. Maybe Ronnie had just found out about my dad and was using all that against me. So I decided to say nothing, at least until another letter came, and my guess was that was never going to happen.
The next morning, I got up in a rush, knowing I was at risk of being late for school. I was nervous because I’d have to deal with the fallout from the party. Everyone had heard me shout like a madwoman, and nobody had come to my aid.
I put on my uniform and ran downstairs. William was already gone, same as most mornings, and Nick and my mother were having breakfast at the island in the kitchen. When Nick looked up at me, I had to struggle not to run over and kiss him. Mom got up and started making my breakfast. With the excuse of getting help with my tie (which I knew perfectly well how to tie by now), I walked over to Nick and gave him a quick kiss while my mother wasn’t looking.
He whispered to me: “Right now I have all these images of my head of you in that uniform in a room upstairs.” As he said this, he knotted my tie, kissed me softly, and stroked my neck.
I turned to make sure no one was watching. But my mother was busy scrambling eggs, and her music was blaring from the speakers.
It was a dangerous game we were playing but a very exciting one, too.
He reached down and felt under my skirt, stroking my legs and my ass.
“You’re pushing it,” I said.
“I know,” he agreed, pulling away just as my mother turned and served my dish.
For the first time, I had my breakfast sitting next to Nick, and all I could think about was that morning when we’d had pancakes and smoothies together. That was a sweet memory, especially the part that had come just before we ate…
My mother didn’t say much to us. She seemed immersed in her thoughts, and I reproached myself for not taking more interest in her marriage and whether she was happy we were living there.
“Are you okay, Mom?” I asked with a worried look. That lost look, that distraction I noticed in her was becoming all too common.
She came back from wherever she had wandered off to in her mind and feigned a smile.
“Yeah, sure… I’m great,” she said, picking her plate up and dropping it into the sink. “Nick told me that he doesn’t mind taking you to school today. I’m sorry, hon, but my head hurts a little… I think I’m going to lie down.” She gave me a kiss on the head and squeezed Nick’s shoulder affectionately.
