Page 118 of My Fault
“Please, Nicholas. I’m your mother… You can’t spend your whole life avoiding me.” She didn’t seem to care that I was there listening. Nicholas was tense as a guitar string.
“You stopped being my mother the moment you abandoned me for that idiot husband of yours.” It was frightening to see him like that, so serious.
“I made a mistake,” she said, as if abandoning your child were something anyone might accidentally do. “But you’re not a child anymore. It’s time for you to forgive me for what I did.”
“That wasn’t a mistake. You disappeared for six years. You didn’t even call to ask how I was. You just left me!” he shouted. “I wish I never had to see you again, and if I could, I would take that precious little girl from you. You don’t deserve her. You don’t deserve to have her as a daughter.”
We walked away. He pulled me down the hallway, then turned, and then turned again until we reached an area that was empty. He pulled open the door of a small closet, and we stepped inside. The only light came from a window near the ceiling.
His face looked lost, his breathing was out of control, and his eyes were gleaming with fury or maybe sorrow, I wasn’t sure. I was scared to see him like that, and I didn’t realize what was happening when he pushed me against the wall and his lips pressed into mine.
“Nicholas,” I said in a trembling voice, caressing his face. But he was elsewhere, incapable of controlling his emotions. He kissed me again. I didn’t manage to say a word.
“Thank you for being here,” he whispered, and when I heard the desperation in his voice, I held him steady and tried to lookhim in the eye. “I don’t think I’ll ever get over her just leaving me like that. But now you’re here, I have you, and I know what it feels like to be in love. I don’t care what she did to me anymore, Noah. You’ve closed a wound that was still raw, and that makes me love you even more.”
We were so close, his tears streamed into my eyes and I felt a smile cross his lips.
“Come here,” he murmured and kissed me.
That was the second time we made love…and it was tarnished by memories from the past.
We went to eat afterward. We wouldn’t be able to visit Maddie again for a few hours, so we decided to see the sights in Las Vegas. I had never been, and it was as impressive as it looked in the movies. Wherever I looked, there were huge buildings, luxurious hotels, and spectacles. I couldn’t even imagine what it must look like at night—unfortunately I wouldn’t be able to stay there too late.
“Tomorrow we’ll release her. That’s better than we expected. We could probably just let her go now, but I’d prefer to keep her under observation a little longer,” the doctor said.
It was five in the evening, and if we wanted to be in LA before midnight, we needed to head back. Nicholas seemed not to want to go, but his mother was there, and I knew how hard that was for him.
“I’ll be back this week,” he told Maddie, who got teary-eyed. “I’ll come Wednesday, and I’ll bring you a present, and we can play together.” He hugged her carefully but lovingly.
“In two days?” she said, pouting.
“Just two days,” Nick said, kissing her on her blond hair.
He looked destroyed, exhausted, as we left the hospital, and he had good reason to. It had been a day full of emotion, and the day before had been, too. We both needed a few hours to sleep it off.
“You want me to drive?” I asked. He grinned as he pinned me against the driver’s side door.
“I seem to remember I ended up losing the last car you drove.”
“You’ll never let that go, will you?” I asked, rolling my eyes.
I turned around and got into the passenger side. We stopped several times on the way for coffee, and when we were on the road, we kept the music blasting to help us stay awake.
Once home, we didn’t even stop to think that our parents might have arrived. Nicholas had an arm around my shoulder and I had mine around his waist as we climbed the porch.
Seeing my mother was like returning to reality. We were startled and pulled quickly away from each other.
“Finally, you’re back. We were starting to get worried,” Mom said, coming over and hugging me tightly. I hadn’t seen her for two days, and with all that had happened, the memories of my father, the things with Nick, I squeezed her harder than I should have.
“Did you miss me?” she laughed.
She greeted Nick as well, and we went inside and were interrogated about the condition of Nick’s sister. I guess he had called them so they’d know where we were, and William was worried about Maddie’s health.
“I’m glad she’s all right,” he said, getting up from the sofa.
Nick was on one side of the room, I on the other. It was strange not to be touching each other, and I felt an odd emptiness in my chest. I’d gotten so used to having him close these past forty-eight hours that I needed him near me at all times. I looked into his eyes just then. I saw promise.
“I’m tired,” I said. “If you don’t mind, I’m going to go on upstairs. I’ve got class in the morning…”
