Page 114 of My Fault
“Jesus, you’re perfect, it’s like you were made just for me, Noah,” he said and took off his boxers. When he pulled out the two fingers, I felt suddenly empty and frustrated. I opened my eyes and saw him naked in front of me. My jaw fell open.
“Dammit, don’t look at me like that!” he said in a gruff voice as he opened the nightstand and took out what I assumed was a condom. I couldn’t believe what my eyes were seeing, but everything he did, the way he moved, the way his chest rose and fell as he breathed, all of it turned me on. I wanted him, wanted him inside me. There was nothing I wanted more.
When he opened my legs and he got on top of me, my body seemed on the verge of explosion. We were both so tense, it hurt.
“I love you, Noah,” he said, his mouth just inches from mine. His blue eyes looked at me in a way I’d never seen before. His words made me swell with happiness, and I knew he was only doing what he had to do, that this had to happen, that Nicholas loved me. Despite all we’d been through together, despite the hatred we’d felt for each other, us being with each other was always in the cards.
“Keep going,” I said.
He arranged himself over me carefully, and slowly, I felt him enter me. The muscles inside me tensed, and I moaned wildly when he pushed farther in. He was trying not to hurt me; the sweat was dripping down his back, and every inch of him was straining.
“Go fast, Nick,” I said, pulling him in with my legs.
“Are you sure?” he whispered.
I nodded, and he kissed me behind the ear. His arms were on either side of my head, and he was panting uncontrollably.
He broke through the final barrier that lay between us. I felt a sharp pain, intense and fiery, and at last, he was all the way inside me. We were one person, connected in the most powerful way imaginable, and a tear welled in my eye when he tried to get me to look at him.
“Noah…Noah,” he said, almost frightened, reaching up and caressing my face. “I’m sorry… I’m sorry, babe.”
“No,” I interrupted him, wrapping my arms around his neck and drawing him in. “I’m fine. Don’t stop.”
The pain was still there, but just seeing the pleasure on Nick’s face helped me forget it. I wanted to give this to him. I wanted him to remember it forever.
“Jesus, Noah…you can’t imagine how good this is making me feel.” Pulling out and pushing back in a little harder than before. When I closed my eyes, he said, “No, Noah, look at me, oh my God, I’m dying…” As he kept thrusting, the pain went awayentirely; I wanted him there, and when he grunted from pleasure, I felt like I was losing my mind… He liked it, liked being with me; I was the one who gave him this pleasure now, me and no one else.
I pulled his hair.
“Faster,” I said, and he did it, and I utterly lost control, and a wave of something magnificent rose up inside me and threatened to crash and take absolutely everything away with it.
“Now you’re mine,” he said, groaning with pleasure and pain at the same time. “You’re all mine… Say it, Noah… Say it.”
“I’m yours,” I said, scratching his back.
Everything seemed to stop then. My senses burst apart; nothing seemed to matter, just the person on top of me, just him, just Nick. I shouted when we orgasmed at the same time. We were exhausted and sweaty and could hardly catch our breath. He rested his head on my shoulder, and my fingers loosened their grip. I relaxed, enjoying the final flickers of pleasure, caressing him softly.
He kissed me on the shoulder, on the face, and then pulled back to look me in my eyes.
“You’re incredible,” he said, “I love you. I loved you from the very first time you told me you hated me.”
I laughed, feeling a little regretful. “I just hated not having you to myself.”
“From now on, you will. I’m completely yours, body and soul…completely.”
40
Nick
Sleeping with Noah had been the most amazing experience of my life. I couldn’t believe it had happened. It still seemed like a dream. I’d been thinking about doing it since I saw her in her tight dress for the first time and realized how gorgeous she was. But making love to her? I was in heaven. Feeling her under me and caressing her to my heart’s content had given me more pleasure than I’d known in years of sex with other women. Now she was mine, mine forever, because there was no way I was letting her go.
With all that had happened and with all she had told me, I didn’t know how we’d made it that far, but we’d finally knocked down the wall that had separated us from the beginning. Noah’s childhood had been horrible, so traumatic that even years later, it still had consequences for her daily life, and it was all I could do not to hunt down her father and kill him for what he’d done. I was angry at her mother, too. What kind of fool left an eleven-year-old girl with an abuser? I didn’t want Noah to know it, but I blamed Raffaella as well as her father, and I’d make that clear when the time was right. And yet, even with all she’d told me, I still had the feeling she was hiding something. I wasn’t sure what,but I saw a trace of worry in her eyes, and I wanted to know what it was about.
She was asleep in my arms. I thought back to what we had done, and I almost woke her up to pick up where we’d left off. There was a little light on, and in the reflection I could admire her beauty. She was stunning; she took my breath away. And her body… Touching it and pleasuring it had been one of the most pleasurable things in my life.
I heard my phone vibrating. I didn’t want Noah to wake up, so I took it off the nightstand and placed it where she wouldn’t hear it. Whoever it was, they could wait…
When I pulled her in tight, she opened her eyes, a little groggy.
