Page 69 of Fragile Wicked Things
"I shall outlaw ordinary and dullness then," I said in a meek attempt to impress her.
"Do you have the power to do that?"
"My power has such strength that it can devour."
"Hush. Only monsters can devour, and you, my Lord, are no monster. You are a gentleman. A gentle man whose heart I wish to capture."
She pulled her hand away from mine and placed it on my heart, and I could swear I heard a beat. I pulled her hand away, caressed it in mine, and refused to let go. It was no coincidence that I had encountered this angel in the forest on a night when I had fallen into such despair.
A lighted torch traveled between the trees some distance away and caught her eye.
"I am found out and must go." She jumped up in a hurry.
"Return tomorrow night," I pleaded with her, holding onto her hand so that she could not escape.
"I mustn't."
"Please. Be with me."
"My Lord, I cannot be with you unless it is forever that you speak of." Blanche tried pulling away again.
"Be with me forever, then. Come tomorrow night and I will reward you with a better life. Say yes and you will save this wretched soul."
"Yes," she whispered before fleeing into the woods towards the lighted torch.
Oh, great happiness to have found this red-haired beauty!I felt a sense of renewal, a rebirth of the man I used to be—no, the great man I wished to be. Her touch brought me such joy that I knew she would be my light, and I would not stray again.
There was a lightness in my step as I traveled back to the castle, sure that there would be a change in my life for the good. It did not matter to me where the blessing came from, as long as I was on the receiving end. So smitten was I that not once did I give thought to the wench I had tossed into the North Sea. How horrible! Even now as I tell you the story, I am disgusted with my actions, but as I said, I want you to know all of me and you must hear the horrid details of my past.
The next night, I traveled back to the spot where I had met my angel, but she was not there. At first, I thought it was too early. Then, I worried she would not be able to escape the nuns. Finally, I contemplated what I did not wish to—that the young woman had changed her mind and did not want to be with me. The thought devastated me; that I should be alone was unbearable.
There was a reflection of myself in the pond and although I appeared as any other man, the truth was that I concealed a terrible secret. Maybe she saw the monster inside of me. Maybe they all could. But how could they? When they looked at me, did they not see dark hair like their own? Black eyes the same deep black as their own? Ah, but therein laid the evidence. My eyes were darker and deeper than most. My skin, paler and colder than most. No, I had decided, at last, she chose not to be with me. An angel can never wish for a devil.
Another creature of the night in my likeness would not deny herself to me. This companion, this perfect companion, must be of the same species as myself, have the same defects, the same hunger and darkness. Shall I do it? Shall I create another like myself, and what if her wickedness desolates the world? Who am I to bring more harm to Mankind?
Mankind—if they knew the truth of my existence, would they not tear me to pieces and triumph over my defeat? Would they not shun and hate me and do the same to my Blanche, the poor Lady? That would make me miserable and, thereby, make me malicious. That they would harm my love, the thought of which was unbearable, consumed me. Why then should I pity Man more than he pities me?
Another creature like myself I must create; it will gratify and content me. It is true that we will be monsters, cut off from all the world, but on that account, we will be more attached to one another. I must not be alone. The love of another will destroy the cause of my darkness.
So, I indulged in dreams of bliss with my Blanche. In her absence, I had decided her fate, yet she was not there to receive it. I buried my face in my hands and contemplated how I had traveled the same road to loneliness again when I was sure that things would be different this time.
"Are you crying, my Lord?"
I heard a voice but did not dare look up. "The angel speaks, but it cannot be."
"Why can it not be?"
"You could never choose to be with me," I said.
She sat down next to me. "Is the decision not mine to make, my Lord? For if it is, then I choose to be with you. Forever."
She touched my shoulder, and I lowered the hands from my face. "It is truly you," I said.
"Were you expecting another angel?"
"There could be no other as perfect as you. I thought you should have time for your decision. I promise you on the seventh night we will be together forever. But if your decision is made, if the outcome is to be the same tonight as it would be on the seventh night, then we need not wait. We can be tied together for an eternity now. Let's waste no more time on the matter."
"First, I must know. Do you live in a castle?" said Blanche.
