Page 39 of Fragile Wicked Things
In a rage, Edward grabbed her by the wrists, and she fought back, kicking and screaming as he dragged her out of the room. A door slammed shut and the woman pounded on it, demanding to be let in. Her voice strained, pained then angry and after some time had passed, things quieted down and she was gone. I was safe again. Edward returned and caught me with my eyes open.
"You're awake now, child. What did you see?"
"I was asleep until I heard a door slam and a woman yelling to be let in."
He nodded his head, and I could tell that he seemed satisfied with my answer. Then he moved closer to me and brought up a chair for me to sit in. "Have you no kin?" he asked.
"Just my mother. She…" I couldn't bring myself to say the words that I knew were true.
He remained deep in thought and quiet for a moment and finally said, "You will go to the orphanage then. They will care for you." Turning his head towards the door where he tossed out the red-haired woman, he said, "It isn't safe here."
I reached out, placing my tiny hand over his. "Your hands are cold. Sit closer to the fire."
Edward turned to stare at the fire and, after a moment, stood, gathered me up, and carried me to the carriage, where the driver, who I would later come to know as Giovanni, lay waiting. After the ordeal with the red-haired woman, I supposed Edward hurried to get me out. Although I didn't want to stay where I'd be in danger, I didn't want to leave him either. He had saved my life. There was now a bond.
Edward pulled back the black velvet curtains of the carriage so I could look at the stars. They reminded me of how small I was, how insignificant, and, what's more, of how they watched over me. We pulled away from Edward's estate and I looked up at the gargoyles on the roof that were carved in stone, grotesquely looking down at me. The winged savages had four sharp teeth, all visible in their wicked smile, and one turned its head in my direction, his gaze following the carriage as we drove away.
I was to go to an orphanage where they would care for me and I would be safe, but when we pulled onto a rocky roadway, I noticed a dilapidated building. The paint was stripped on the door and windows, the grounds were not maintained and it had a foreboding manner to it in the darkness. A dog barked at the carriage as we pulled up, his fur scraggly, his body so thin I could make out his ribs. Giovanni ignored the dog and banged the brass knocker. In a short time, a woman in a nightcap and gown came to the door with a lit candle and shooed away the dog.
"Wha' you wan?" Her harsh words were addressed to Giovanni, but when she saw the design of the ornate five-glass carriage, her manner changed and her face softened in embarrassment.
"Lord Rochester has a girl for you," Giovanni said.
I pulled away from Edward and resisted at first, sure that if he saw my fear, he would change his mind. Instead, he held my hand and guided me out of the carriage and into the home. We followed the old woman up a set of stairs, down a corridor and into a room where at least thirty girls lay sleeping. The room was dark and dank, a broken glass window the cause of the cold, and the unlit fireplace had no sign of firewood. The young girls shivered under their threadbare blankets.
The old woman told me to follow her to a spare bed closest to the broken window and I did so, counting each step as if walking to my death. She pulled back a blanket, the mattress was yellowed, the stuffing inside pricked out and it lacked a pillow. Sleeping in the alleyway was worse, colder, harder, but at least I had my mother. I knew no one would care for me here. A quick succession of steps came towards me from behind and then hands scooped me up into the air, placing me on Edward's hip. He carried me out.
But Jane, why do you cry? Oh dear, you're thinking of your own miserable childhood. You see how Edward can be kind, to refuse to leave me in that terrible place. Me, who was nothing to him. Instead, he took me back to his home, settled me into my own room where I slept in a real bed and, placing a blanket over me, sat next to me. He raised his hand to his chin, leaned forward and finally spoke for the first time since we had left the orphanage.
"Since you have no family," he began, "and I have no family, you will stay with me."
We lived there quite happily, with me as his ward, Edward as my guardian, and Giovanni as his handler. Yes, quite happily—for a time.
Twelve
Over the following weeks, I saw little of my guardian and spent most of my time with Giovanni and Mathilda, my governess. I hated Mathilda. Her German accent was hard, and every word she spoke sounded crude, even something as simple as "time for bed." She also had the ability to end most of her sentences with a question mark. Every answer she said to me was "nicht" "May I go?" "Nicht." "May I have a break?" "Nicht," I swear Edward hired her for her meanness. He worried I would become spoiled under his care. However, I did love her way of slathering butter on everything. I didn’t know where Giovanni came from other than he didn’t sound like me. He had dark, wavy hair, olive skin and an odd way of cursing to himself when he thought I wasn't within hearing. I learned he was Italian, from Sicily, or as he liked to put it, "the ball the rest of Italy kicks."
Days were busy with school work, painting, piano and singing lessons. Play was reserved for the evenings, and after some time had passed, Edward made himself available and would teach me games and children's songs I had never heard before. Sometimes, we created our games with rules that suited us, and, on occasion, when we had Mathilda or Giovanni join us, we would leave them out of the rules that were beneficial to us alone. Giovanni stomped off once after losing his handful of nuts to me.
One evening, we played hide-and-seek, and I sought shelter behind the grandfather clock on the upper story of the drawing room. Edward would never look for me there, knowing I feared being alone in that darkened corner. Edward’s boot hit the wooden floor as he entered the room below.
"Catherine," he said. "I know you're in here somewhere."
He pulled at the heavy curtain but found no one hiding there. He then stepped aside to check behind the piano—still nothing. I put my hand up over my mouth to stifle a giggle. Edward stood quiet for a moment, took a deep breath and appeared uneasy. Then I felt that cold sensation I had felt the first night I arrived at the estate.
"I said never to return here," Edward said to no one in that empty room. The flame in the fireplace cast a most gruesome image on him. He was darker than I was used to, menacing, and it frightened me.
"Please."
I heard a woman's voice from somewhere in the room beneath. I shifted myself from behind the grandfather clock to get a better look. Finally, I saw the red-haired woman as she flung herself on the floor before Edward, hands clasped together, pleading.
"Please do not send me back out there. They will kill me!" she said.
"Who?"
"These men, they followed me. They'll be here soon."
"You are a murderous fiend, and if those men have come for justice, then that is what they shall have," said Edward.
