Page 109 of Summer, in Between
‘What are you on about?’Paul’s face is red, brows furrowed.He tries to take my arm and I back away.
‘Don’t touch me.’
‘Cat, I have no idea what you are talking about.’
‘Ask your fuckwit friends.They know everything, apparently.’I turn and run through the lookout, down the track, taking the shortcut to the road.Tears threaten to overflow.There are footsteps behind me, Paul’s calling my name, but I don’t stop running.He catches me at the roadside, encasing me in his arms.
‘Babe, what’s wrong?What’s happened?’
I wriggle out of his hold and shove him away from me.‘Last night?Being with me is sacred?So sacred that you tell your friends?’
‘Are you kidding?It was the best night of my life.Itwassacred.’
‘I don’t think you actually know what sacred means, because if you did, every one of your Neanderthal friends and half of Batter’s Cove wouldn’t know about it.’
‘What?’
‘Cavey told Isabel about our “sacred” night, and she was so thrilled to tell me she knew all about it.How’d she know that exact word to use, Paul?’
‘Of course I told my best mate about us.You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.Are you telling me you haven’t told your friends?’
‘No, I haven’t.It hasn’t even been twenty-four hours.And even if I did, they wouldn’t have spread it around and shared all the dirty details.Your mates are pigs.And me?I’m the most ignorant fuckwit in the world for not realising sooner that you are too.’I push the tears away from my eyes, my hands in fists.I’m yelling now and a family ushers their kids to the other side of the road.‘It’s not even bad enough that everyone knows because you couldn’t wait to tell them about hooking up with the Stuck-Up Bitch.What about the way you think it’s okay to treat women like meat, Isabel Dillon and God knows who else?’
‘Cat, I’ve had nothing to do with Isabel since I don’t even know when.I think I kissed her at a party one time, years ago, but that’s it.Nothing happened.It meant absolutely nothing.I know she’s hooked up with Cavey and maybe Tom but what they do has nothing to do with me.’His jaw is working, his teeth clenched.‘The idea of it makes me want to vomit.I told you this, babe.There’s crap that I’d never want you to know about, not in a million years.Because it’s from a lifetime ago, and because it’s not me.’
‘A lifetime ago?Not last summer?Not even last year?Who even are you when I’m not around?It doesn’t matter because now I know.Every disgusting, misogynistic detail.Let me guess, Isabel asked for it, am I right?’
‘Cat, this is bullshit.I’m in love with you.You, Cat.’
‘You think I can even look at you, knowing what you’re a part of?’
‘I’m not part of anything,’
‘You really don’t get it, do you Paul?’My heart is racing, and it feels like it’s going to snap my ribs with its force.‘Okay, so what you’re saying is that you don’t treat people like human garbage, good for you.But what about your mates?I see the way Cavey talks about girls.He makes my skin crawl.You’re so obviously okay with that.’
‘I’m not okay with it Cat, but what do you want me to do?He’s my best mate.He was the only one who was there after Pete.’He tugs my wrist and I pull it behind my back like a child holding out.‘Cat, please, none of that has anything to do with us.’
‘You think there’s an us?There is no us.There’s just me and there’s you, and a dirty hookup that all your friends know about.’
‘Cat, stop.Don’t say that.I’m sorry I told Cavey, I never in a million years thought it’d go past him, and I’m going to fucking kill him, but we can sort this out.’
‘I don’t even want to look at you.Go hang with your a-hole friends and leave me alone.’
I run and don’t look back.I run all the way home.My lungs are heaving out of my chest, my toes are bleeding, but I keep going until I get to the familiar balcony stairs, then I go into the shower, and I cry.
