Page 84 of Wickedly Ever After
“Happily-Ever-After magic be damned. I liked Tinbit before I even met him, and I’m going to love him whether I want to or not, even if it’s doomed.”
“I won’t hold you back,” Ida reminded him. “If you want to be with him—”
“We’ve been through that.” Hari took out her nightgown and laid it out on the bed for her. “Do you want a cup of tea from the kitchen tonight, or do you want to brew it here in the fireplace?”
“Here, I think,” Ida said. “I don’t want to see that obnoxious ghoul any more than I must.”
“Who’s an obnoxious ghoul?” Sebastian’s head popped through the floor at Hari’s feet. “Is it me? Please say yes.”
Ida yanked her dressing gown around herself and glared at the head. “Is this how you treat all your guests?”
“No, dear lady,” Sebastian said, bowing in midair. “I’m much more horrible, I assure you. I beg your apology for the intrusion, and I know it’s late, but I’ve a business proposition for your ears, Your Goodness, and your ears only. Toddle off to the kitchen, you dutiful little gnome. I’m going to be a while here, so there’s no rush on the cuppa. Why don’t you send a skeleton to tell your dearly beloved Tinbit the pony is having a bellyache, and when he comes running, suck him dry in a quiet stall? It works for the vampires.”
“Ida—” Hari protested.
“It’s all right,” Ida said. “I’m sure this won’t take long.”
Hari left, not without an angry backward glance at Sebastian’s grinning skull.
Ida turned to him. “What do you want?”
Sebastian coaxed his body over with a click of his tongue. The body came over, carrying a box, and handed it to Ida. “Present for you.”
Ida narrowed her eyes at him. “What horrible, terrifying thing is in there? A large spider? A vampire bat? A thousand trapped souls screaming in torment?”
“Far worse.” Sebastian giggled. “Go ahead. Open it. You’re probably the only one who can handle it, really.”
She did. Carefully. “Gods!”
“Not quite,” Sebastian said. “Just the dirty old heart of a man who can’t bear it anymore.”
Ida stared at it in shock. She’d thought Hector as heartless as any witch should be. He’d kept it. All through the centuries, he’d kept it, just like she had. She took out the heart reverently, dirt and all, and set it in her lap.
“Interesting, isn’t it?” Sebastian’s hollow eyes glinted. “That old softie. Some people don’t know what’s good for them. And they’re so rich in iron. I was going to sauté it up with some onions and thyme, but I could be persuaded to part with it—for the right price.”
“I make a point to not buy organ meat of dubious origin, and you should be more careful too. I’d suggest you return this to the witch you took it from before it poisons you.”
“That’s out of the question,” Sebastian said. “Have you ever woken him up once he’s gone to bed at dusk like a good little morning lark? He’s liable to turn me into stone.”
It was a much larger heart than she’d expected, glistening, red, beating softly beneath her fingers. “He sold it to you?”
“Gave it to me in exchange for the rooms. I believe he was glad to be rid of it. Of course, I never would’ve made the trade if I’d not had a buyer for it.” He pulled up a chair and sat, setting his feet on the coffee table, one at a time. “As you might imagine, good magic in this part of the world is hard to find. Hector can’t do good to save his life. I can make a tidy profit selling bootleg good magic. How about it? You get the heart and I get a few canned spells for love and money.”
She covered the heart in the folds of her nightgown. “Love and money?”
Sebastian grinned. “Think pleasure instead of love. It’s an easier sell.”
“Pleasure, you say?”
“We get quite a few questing knights through here, and they like to cut loose when they are in dragon country. A few lovely virgins who dissolve into mist in the morning would be perfect.”
She ought to sew up his mouth and box his ears. “And when would you want these spells?”
“Ah, ah! Payment due on receipt of goods delivered. That’s my offer. Take it or leave it.”
Well, she certainly wouldn’t leave it.Hector, you fool.You really need to do a better job of vetting your hard-luck cases. “Very well. One heart for four pleasure spells. I’ll have them made for you by morning.”
“Five.”
