Page 115 of Wickedly Ever After
“To sell it, what else?” Sebastian threw his hand up in the air and caught it. “But they wrecked my inn and it’s all her fault! What are you going to do about it—eww.” He’d caught sight of Tinbit. “You aren’t leaving that with me? I don’t even have a freezer to put a fresh corpse in, let alone an aged cheese like that.”
Hector raised his hand. “Tell me what happened.”
“I asked for pleasure spells—something to sell to randy knights out on quests. I didn’t expect to have customers so early, but there were four of them, all out questing for the Holey Pail—the chumps—so I offered them a good time. No sooner did those fellows buy them than they wrecked my inn! They freed my ghosts, unleashed the demons—one of them got eaten and the demon died, poor thing—and then the remaining three ran off with my best banshees to ‘escort them home.’ I hope they get their livers ripped out.”
“Truepleasure comes from doing a good deed,” Ida said. “You might try it sometime.”
“No thanks, it might kill me.” Sebastian snorted. “Again.”
“What, precisely, do you want me to do about it?” Hector asked.
“Turn her into a frog. An ugly one. This is the second time someone has burned down my house.”
Hector shook his head. “I’m not going to turn Ida into a frog. For one thing, she’s a good witch, and it’s her business to provide good magic. For the second thing, black market magic is illegal and I think you got what you deserved.”
“I’ve got a living to get.”
“As you so eloquently said, you’re already dead.”
“But…but it’s my home,” Sebastian whined, shedding maggots. “Where will I go? What will I do?”
Hector sighed. The ghoul wasn’t the only one contemplating that decision. “Come along to the castle. I’ll see what I can do.”
“And ride with that?” Sebastian said, wrinkling his nose at Tinbit. “Really, Hector.”
“You’d prefer to ride me?” Adair bared his fangs.
Sebastian dropped his jaw and picked it up from the ground quickly. “On the other hand, what’s a dead body? I love dead bodies. They’re so sweet and cute when they’re rotting.” Sebastian flung his head into the basket before he crawled in and parked his lower half in the back, folding his legs before setting his head in his lap.
Hector climbed in after him.
Immediately, Sebastian handed him his head. “Now, let’s talk about what I’d like in my next establishment. I want three stories, not two, and I want a haunted ballroom, upscale, withsome of those sparkly vampires, no more wretched bats. You can import sparkly vampires, right?”
***
When the topmost towers of his castle glittered in the afternoon sunlight, Hector was all too glad to see it.
“Let me down here,” he told the giant. “I’ll walk the final mile.”
“Wait!” Sebastian howled. “Don’t you want to hear my plans for the quicksand spa?”
“No.” He got out. “Take them to the courtyard,” he told the giant. “I’ll be along as soon as I can.”
There was something he needed to do first. Someone he needed to kill.
54
Ida
Magic would seem to present a witch with a number of paths to take in life. With magic, a witch can cure a plague, transform a man into a monster, cause a person to fall in love, or stop a war by turning everyone into ravens. The prospect of such power seems unlimited.
In actuality, it’s much less complicated.
The only question a witch must ask themself: Will I be good or will I be wicked?
Magic and Mischief—A Thousand Years of Happily-Ever-After: A Memoir
Ida North
