Page 31 of With Stars in Her Eyes
The exec’s arms lifted defensively. “They’rerecordingthis for the music video. The label had a lot of money riding on it, and the videographer wanted some shots—”
“I don’t give a damn what the videographer said. Call your boss. I want you gone.”
Richard lowered his voice. “Youneedto get back out onstage.”
“I’ll get back out onstage when I see the—”
Richard gestured to someone out of my sight line. “See, the medics are here. She’ll be fine. You need to get back out there. This is your big moment, Demetrius. Don’t blow it because of her. She wouldn’t want you to blow it.”
I tried to speak again. Say thatyes, I actually agreed with Richard this time.
Demetrius bent down. “Are you okay?”
I nodded and lifted the arm that still worked, probably to point toward the stage. “G-go.”
After that, everything became a blur of action. Things were getting attached to me from all sides. I was poked and prodded. It was too much for me, as dizzy as I was.
A medic grabbed hold of me. “Wait just a sec, missy. We’ll help you onto the stretcher.”
“Oh… okay.” The words were clearer, which was a relief. My vision was less obscured, but the light was still rippling. It was still like seeing everything through crumpled cling wrap or glass tunnels showing the animals underwater at the zoo.
“I interrupted her injecting herself with something backstage earlier. She tried to hide a bunch of pills at that meeting,” the label exec said. “Make sure they do a full drug panel on her. For her own safety of course.”
“I’m n-not. I didn’t…” God, it was so frustrating. Why wouldn’t the words come out? I could think them, but it was like they kept getting stuck somewhere. Pain cracked my head in twoagain. “My h-head.” My hands felt stronger now. I held my head between them.
I had thought that night couldn’t get any worse.
Then the familiar face I had seen in the crowd before the spotlight hit me appeared. He was backstage now, ten feet away from me.
“Hello, Dove.”
If I was having a stroke, there was no one I wanted to be with at the endlessthan the man walking toward me.
This whole thing had been a mistake.
Everything that brought me here was a mistake.
Bile rose in my throat. I threw up all over Richard and the label exec, who were standing closer than I thought. I fell back onto the stretcher, closed my eyes, and waited to see if I was going to die.
But I didn’t.
And tonight, standing in my rental house in Kansas, it had been exactly three months to the day since I last played.
Sam and Nic had been the ones to set up the instruments here when they helped me move in.
They shouldn’t have bothered. My hand balled into a fist above my bow.
I fucking can’t.
I couldn’t do it.
Because Courtney Starling—the person beneath all my masks—has no idea who she really is anymore.
I didn’t eat dinner.
I headed straight up to bed.
CHAPTER 9Courtney
