Page 126 of With Stars in Her Eyes
“But what does this mean for us?”
“It means my answer has to benot now.”
“Not now?” Courtney’s throat bobbed.
“Do you understand why?”
“I think so.”
I handed over the box of photos from my bag. “You should keep these. Maybe you can use them for something. I can send digital scans if you want them.”
Courtney’s green eyes bored into mine. Whatever Courtney read there must have convinced her not to argue anymore. “Thank you.” The slight quiver in the words almost destroyed my resolve.
CHAPTER 45Courtney
I sat on the floor in the bookstore where Thea and I had slept the night of the snowstorm with a frightened piglet between us. It was several hours before opening, but I hadn’t been able to sleep at all the past few days. The only movement in the room came from one of the cages behind the desk. Lady the ferret was back. Normally I would have gotten her out and played with her, but the ferret, like so many other things in my life right now, reminded me of how much I had messed everything up with Thea.
“Not now” was far better than I should have expected.
The last two days had been spent with Sam, Abbott, Jeannie, and Nic all helping me look over new contracts and make a plan as well as write out a statement to go with the harassment lawsuit the label was bringing against Jeremiah. If I had told everyone what was happening in the beginning, none of this would have dragged on. I had let old fears control me again, and I was still recovering from it.
Tour rehearsals would start soon at a large space outside Nashville, and I was days away from getting on a plane. Every day felt like I was suffering from the lingering queasiness after food poisoning.
Because for the first time in my thirty-three years of chronic migration, I, Courtney Starling, realized that I was homesick, and I hadn’t even fucking left yet.
The bell over the door jangled as it opened.
Sam scanned the space, her shoulders relaxing when she saw me. “God, here you are.”
“Here I am.”
“What’s that?” Her head twitched at what I held in my hands.
“The book for next month.”
“You’ve been here reading?”
“I’ve been trying to.” I tapped the page and held the book out. “I can’t get past this part.”
Sam skimmed upside down. “The third-act breakup?”
“She said it wasn’t one, but it was still anot now.” My head bowed. The page was speckled with so many dark spots now it was hard to read the words. When I stopped shaking, Sam pulled me into a hug.
“I think you should take the day off, friend. Don’t you need to pack?”
“But all the book fair stuff still needs to get reinventoried, and I said I would do it before—”
“I’ve got it covered.” Sam peered out the window. “Abbott’s on his break. He’s going to help me before his job starts. Go home for now.”
“If I go home, will you give this to Thea?” I picked up a brown paper bag from the counter.
“What is it?” Sam eyed it.
“Leftover Caveat Emp-tater and Leek Soup that Abbott left for me yesterday. It’s going to rain tomorrow. Thea loves soup on rainy days. She told me sometimes when she’s upset she forgets to eat, so I wanted to make sure… It’s probably stupid. We haven’t actually made any firm boundaries about reaching out to each other, but I think she needs space right now.”
“What else is in it?” Sam asked, feeling the package.
I opened it and pulled out the book within. It was a sapphic historical romance—with a clinch cover. Inside the pages was a folded sheet of paper.
