Page 117 of With Stars in Her Eyes
The kiss was a burning thing. The pull between us was as fundamental to our souls as gravity is to something falling. The wild song faded into a quieter one in the queue.
“Thea, I—”
A knock on the door broke the moment.
We pulled apart, and Thea went to open the door. She brought the locksmith in and walked him through to show him the doors.
Movement caught my eye out the window. Demetrius pacing in a baseball cap in front of the large tree. “Hey, Thea?”
“Yeah?” She popped her head back in from the kitchen.
“Demetrius is out there. If I go talk to him for a second, do you promise you won’t climb out any windows to escape?”
Thea narrowed her eyes and then winked. “I reserve the right to climb out of anywhere at any moment.”
“Fair.” I winked and walked outside. “Be back in a second.” I headed down the stairs, and Demetrius turned when he heard my footsteps.
“The label has another offer for you.” He beamed at me like he was about to hand me the moon, and all I wished was that I was back with Thea under the stars.
CHAPTER 42Courtney
“Give me another reason. Maybe I’ll believe that one,” Demetrius said.
“I already told you the reason why I want to say it was all a story. I don’t want it to be my story. I don’t want to tour. I can’t do anything about the leaked tracks, but maybe—”
“Telling it as your story is what you always wanted. It was what we thought they wouldneveroffer with the way the industry is now, and you have it. You have the kind of contract people would literally commit murder to get.” He paced under the tree. “What’s going on in your head? Walk me through it because I don’t understand how you can throw this away.”
Several more texts from unknown numbers had come in on my phone. They repeated the threats from before if I didn’t deny that the leaked songs were autobiographical. My career wasn’t worth putting Demetrius’s at risk. He loved it so much. I loved writing music, being onstage, and performing, but he loved all of it. He loved the fame. He had enough charm to fill an arena, and I would not risk fucking that up. If he knew about the threats though, he was stubborn enough to make a rash decision at his own expense.
“I… I don’t.” I sucked in a breath. “I have a good thing going here with a woman I’m dating. I don’t want to be long distance. She’s a put-down-roots person. How can I tell her I’m going to be gone for months and months when things with her are just starting?” The words trembled. I had meant it to be an excuse he couldn’t argue with, but as soon as I voiced them, some cold, slinking thing threatened to crawl its way up my throat.
“I don’t want to be the kind of person who always puts my career… my music first… because then I might never… Butno…Ms. Jeannie was right.Goddamnit.” The fear of losing Theawasreal, but the anxious dread about being like my parents wasn’t rational. That was different. Those thoughts weren’t about me at all.
“Who is Ms. Jeannie and what does she have to do with you not going on tour?” Frustration filled Demetrius’s voice. “You aren’t making any sense.”
Choosing to fight for my career and my dreams wouldn’t mean I was like my parents. Because even as the fear threatened to burst out of me, a realization shone as bright as the sunset in front of me. It took their power.
Talking it through with Thea had given me the final key I needed. I had been wrong about my biggest fear. It might have been my impulse to say that I feared losing my career the most, but my career had never meant more to me than the people I loved. It was why Jeremiah’s threats had worked. It’s why heknewthey would work. Jeremiah had been using the fact I wasn’t like my parents. It had only worked because even he had known that I was nothing like them.
If I was forced to choose between the people I loved and my career, I wouldalwayschoose the people I loved.
I would choose Demetrius.
I would choose Nic. Sam.
And Thea.
But the people in my life who loved me would love me enough to want me to fight for my dreams.
“Might never what?”
“What?” I had lost the thread of the conversation with my realization.
“You said, ‘I don’t want to be the kind of person who always puts my career… my music first… because then I might never…’ and then you just started talking about Ms. Jeannie.”
“I… I just realized something.” I nearly laughed. “I would. I would do it, and it would be easy.”
“What are youtalkingabout?”
