Page 94 of Fun at Parties
It’s okay to be single. It’s okay to be in a healthy relationship. It’s okay to fall in love and it’s okay for romantic relationships to be a defining part of life, just notthedefining part of life. Life is complicated. I don’t think it’s healthy anymore to try to “be happy,” because that’s often impossible. I think (as someone wise once told me) it’s better to try to live a life that’s rich and meaningful and contains moments of joy. AndI also don’t think I’m an authority on anything but spin, so this is the last you’ll hear from me on the subject. I can’t wait to see you on Sunday. x Quinn
Yes, I actually sign it, because it’s that serious. Then I delete the app from my phone and take a walk.
Chapter 32
Tonight’s theme isParty: TheParty (Parties throughout the Ages), which means everyone’s dressing up like characters from iconic TV and movie party scenes, like Bailey originally envisioned. This is her thirtieth birthday, and she had a grand vision from the start. “Someplace with a fancy staircase, like on theTitanic,” she mused months ago. “And the band that played my cousin’s wedding. They somehow nailed BruceandShakiraandthe Scooby Doo theme song.”
“Why did they play the Scooby Doo theme song?” Giana asks tonight, eyeing herself in Bailey’s bedroom mirror and adjusting the jeweled headpiece that matches her silver Daisy Buchanan dress.
Bailey pauses, lip gloss wand hovering midair. “You know, I’m not really sure. But it brought the house down. Strap me in?”
I pick up the contraption sitting on her bed. “Are you sure you don’t want to wait until we get there?”
After Bailey hired the band, there was no money left in the budget to rent out an opulent yet doomed cruise ship. She settled for the cafeteria at First Cove, whichLogan’s parents graciously offered free of charge. Sam’s husband’s restaurant is doing a barbecue buffet at a discount, and the rest of us pitched in to stock the bar with the basics. The other guests will bring plenty more booze, though hopefully none of it will be cherry rum.
The idea of spending the evening in a place that carries so much weight—a place where Nate, hopefully, is going to build his life—makes my knees wobble. But not as much as the knowledge that I’m going to see him there.
It’s going to be fine,one part of me insists reflexively.
It might not be fine, another, newer part of me counters. But that’s okay too.
I’m still figuring this stuff out.
“Yes, now,” Bailey says. “I don’t want anyone to see my outfit without getting the full effect.” She turns her back to me, and I Velcro her into the brace, completing her Regina-George-at-the-Spring-Fling look.
My phone vibrates on the dresser. It’s an email from Tracy, and I can’tnotlook, especially after the chilly voicemail she left when she saw my last post. This email has a surprisingly different tone:
Quinn, I’m not afraid to eat my hat when I’m wrong. I understand now what you were doing with your post—disclaiming authority to enhance trust. The reaction has been incredible, so we’re going to pivot a bit. We’ll still highlight independence as one of your core values, but also be strategic about emphasizing authenticity and vulnerability. Let’s discuss perhaps testing a more confessional style in an upcoming ride.
I’d love to sit down with Bailey to dissect the absurdity of the idea that my attempt at denying that I have expertise has somehow made me more credible, and that Tracy’s conclusion is that we need to focus-group my sincerity. But most of this week has been about me, and tonight is about Bailey, so I keep my mouth shut.
Giana’s fiancé, Andy, picks us up after putting their son to bed at Grandma’s house. Bailey lies across my lap in the backseat because she’s uncomfortable sitting in the back brace. She looks up at me, her hair splayed across the skirt of my13 Going on 30striped minidress, and we dissolve into hideous snorting laughter.
Once we recover, she tweaks my giant butterfly necklace. “Thank you for committing to my theme.”
“I will always commit to your theme.”
“You’re the best,” she says. “Love you.”
“Excuse me,” Andy says. “On my one night with free childcare this month, I put on a very uncomfortable tuxedo to attend this party. So I too would like credit for committing to the theme.”
“You’re the best, Andy,” I say as he pulls into the camp parking lot.Nate’s parking lot, probably.My stomach bobs like a poor swimmer in rough water.
“You’re a great Jay Gatsby, Andy!” Bailey tries to sit up as she says it, forgetting her back brace. She loses her balance and rolls to the floor. “Oof.”
Moments of joy, no matter the circumstances.
For a cafeteria, it’s pretty nice. Light wood floors, high ceilings with exposed rafters. A wall of windows. Peoplestream in steadily: Sam and his husband in matching black-and-white tuxedos a la21 Jump Street,a group of Bridgerton aristocrats, and a big-haired Barbie in a sequined jumpsuit.
I’m clutching a vodka soda, but even against the cold glass my hands get sweatier by the minute. During the day, the windows provide a clear view of the field where the kids play kickball. But tonight in the dark, they reflect the action in the room, and from where I stand, I can see a glass-warped version of each person who walks in the door. Every time someone steps into the room who isn’t Nate, I’m one step closer to the moment when the person who walks inisNate. And then what?
I chat with Sam and a couple of Bailey’s old friends from her high school soccer team, and her parents, trying very hard not to be that person at the party constantly looking away from my conversation partner. Once Bailey’s parents shimmy away in theirDirty Dancingcostumes to check out the dance floor, I’m alone.
Then two women with crown braids—one in a white embroidered dress with flowers in her hair and the other wearing a ruffly black gown and heavy eye makeup—step away from each other, and through the gap I spot a face I was not prepared to see.
“Michelle?” I call out, striding forward. “What the hell?”
My roommate—almost former roommate, I guess—breaks into a slow grin and winds through the crowd toward me. I’m so shocked to see her that it only then registers that she’s wearing a cropped plaid blazer and a choker, like Tai inClueless,and she’s holding hands witha guy channeling Travis Birkenstock in a wig and baggy windbreaker.
