Page 61 of Darkest Game
My legs stand up of their own accord and I sit down next to him on the couch. “We won’t have sex. I’m not even sure I’m ready for that. But I want to know what it’s like to have my first kiss. Please.”
He runs his hand down his face. “Why do you need it? You can just wait for another man to kiss you.”
“Because you’re my husband.”
“Chances are I won’t be forever. Then you’d be free to date.”
“I was never free to date. My father never allowed it. And if you die or we divorce and I’m unmarried, then chances are, I’ll be married off to another mafia man for the sake of politics. I was always taught by my mother that that’s my future. Since you’re my husband now, I want to know what it’s like to kiss. What it’s like to feel all the things I was denied for so long. Please.”
“You don’t need to beg, baby.” He cups my cheek, running his thumb over my skin. “A girl like you shouldn’t beg.”
“What is a girl like me?”
“Sweet. Caring. Innocent. Fuck.”
“You say that a lot.”
“It helps me.”
“Helps you?”
His eyes darken as they take me in. “It helps me to get some of my feelings out so I don’t do something I’ll regret.”
“And you would regret kissing me?” The thought breaks my heart right in two.
“No. And that’s the problem. I wouldn’t regret it for anything. But you can’t be mine and I’m holding onto a thread, trying to keep myself from taking you. You have to stop tempting me.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry.”
“You’re really confusing me. If you don’t want me, then let me go.” I try to pull back but Liam wraps his hand around the back of my neck. It’s not forceful. It’s just there, letting me know he doesn’t actually want to let me go.
“Irina,” he says softly, his eyes roaming over mine.
And that’s when he brings his lips to mine.
The kiss starts off gentle. Both of us hesitant to take things too far. But then Liam deepens it.
It takes me a moment to get my bearings and figure out how it works but it’s not hard at all. Kissing Liam feels natural. As natural as breathing.
My hands find his shirt and hold on tight just to steady myself. I could get lost in his lips forever and never find my way back. But do I even want to find my way back?
I’m still torn between my family and Liam. In an ideal world, they would all just work together. But I live in the real world. The mafia world. And in that world, no one gets happy endings.
Liam lowers me onto the couch as he kisses me harder and harder, like he’s trying to consume me from within. I kiss him back, eager to learn. Eager to experience this.
Actual living.
His hand moves down to my thigh and he hikes my leg over his hip. My summer dress rides up slightly, not enough to show my underwear, but enough to feel like what we’re doing is taboo. Neither of us stops this though.
Liam presses his hips between my legs and settles himself there. A ringing in the back of my mind tells me that we should stop this.
But it all feels too good to listen to that voice.
Liam grips my thigh tighter, making me gasp. A flush of heat hits me between my legs. I want him to touch me there. I want him to touch me everywhere. I’ve never been this desperate for anything in my life before.
He rocks his hips against mine, sending more heat through me. His lips find my neck and trail kisses along my skin.
