“Ok. But don’t go far. Mikhail has guards around the place so you’ll be safe. But still be careful.”
I don’t want to be surrounded by guards any longer. Denis kept guards that kept us locked up. I don’t say any of this to Natalya though. She’s so happy to just have me back that I want her to focus on that. I want her to be happy after all the worry she experienced being unable to save me and Ana. She couldn’t save Sasha when she married Nico.
Though, one glance at Sasha and Nico across the room tells me that they’re happy together. He has his hand protectively onher low back and she’s leaning into his touch. They like each other. Love each other. Mikhail and Natalya feel the same way. I observed them all day, giving each other small touches or little glances and smiles. There’s an easiness about them with each other.
I’m so happy for both of my older sisters that they found love with their husbands. I would never wish anyone to be forced into a marriage forever with someone they hated.
Yet, I can’t stop this strange feeling inside my chest. Almost like… jealousy? I want to be truly content like they are instead of feeling this anxiety in my mind.
I practically run outside and suck in a large gulp of air. It’s so nice to smell fresh air. My bedroom at Denis’s house was on the bottom floor so I was never allowed to open my window for fear I’d escape. And Denis never allowed us outside – once again so we couldn’t escape.
I never knew I would miss the smell of fresh air so much. A sob escapes me as I suck in a breath. Clamping my hand over my mouth, I lower myself to my knees and let myself cry.
Cry for happiness, cry for relief, cry for pain that I endured for years. I just cry for it all.
“Irina?” It’s Ana’s soft voice behind me.
I push myself to my feet and wipe my tears away. “Ana. What…”
“I saw you come outside. I thought we could have a second to talk. We haven’t really since we came here.”
“Yes. Of course.” I wring my hands together. I know I must look like a mess with my tear stained eyes and the curls in my hair coming undone.
“This is all so new,” she admits. “Being here. This party.”
“I thought you were excited for the party.”
“I was. I am. But I never got to be a teenager.”
“You’re only seventeen, Ana. You still have time.”
“And you’re only nineteen. You do too.”
“What are you saying?”
A secretive little smile dances on her lips. “I’m saying that we get out of here. We sneak off to some nightclub and dance the night away.”
“Why would we do that?”
“So we can have some fun and not be stuck at this stuffy party. I want to live a little. Don’t you?”
“I mean… yes. But I have no desire to go to a club.”
She rolls her eyes. Never have I been reminded so much of Ana being a teenager than in this moment. “You were always so boring.”
“Ask Sasha if she’ll go with you. You two were always closer.”
“Sasha won’t understand. She’s been living her life with her husband for the past year. But you and I? We were prisoners to Denis for two whole years. We can understand each other. Let’s go have some fun.”
Slowly, I shake my head. “It’s too dangerous. Ana. Mikhail and Nico have enemies. Denis had enemies. If we were spotted…”
She huffs, dropping her head back. “You were always so boring.”
“I’m being rational. I’m being safe. As long as we play it smart, we’re safe. But running off to a club is not playing it safe, trust me. In time, you’ll be allowed to have more fun. You were even allowed champagne tonight. Make the most out of it.”
“Then why aren’t you?”
“What?”