Page 36 of Fostering Chemistry
Diego seemed to know what she was talking about. I sure as hell didn’t. But maybe I could help in some other way.
I reached out and placed my hand on the bed, half a foot from her. She immediately placed her hand in mine. I squeezed softly, giving what support I could.
“She was my foster sister,” Mia said after a long pause. Then she told the story briefly—how they’d spent so long planning to live here together, go to school together—until Sara got caught using drugs.
This was obviously not news to Diego, but that wasn’t surprising, given he was the RA.
“So you hadn’t talked to her since she left?” Diego asked.
“No. They just gave her five minutes, and… and it was horrible.”
She started crying again. I squeezed her hand, wishing I could do more.
“Do you want to talk about it?” Diego asked. His eyes flickered from the floor to the bed, and he finally sat at the foot of the bed, a couple feet from her.
“No.” Mia let out a shaky sigh. “Yes. It’s just… for the last two weeks, all I wanted was for her to be here. I wanted us to be together, and I was disappointed that we weren’t. And today I found out that she’s disappointed too, of course, but she’s also angry. We had a plan, and it didn’t work out for her—but I’m still following it. I’m living the dream we both had. And she’s mad.”
I started to say something, but Diego shook his head, and I waited.
“She said some awful things,” Mia continued. “I feel like I let her down. She’s my only real family. So why am I here, going to classes and watching reality TV?”
She gave me a look that was almost accusatory, but I knew she didn’t mean it.
“I should be with her.”
“You can’t,” Diego said in a quiet, measured voice, “even if you weren’t here. She’s in rehab, they have rules about contact with the outside world. This was the first time they let you call, right?”
Mia nodded.
“Even if you were camped out on the center’s doorstep, you wouldn’t be able to see her. Not yet.”
“She thinks I chose myself, and my education, over her.”
“It sounds like you didn’t have a choice,” I said softly.
“I should’ve chosen her. We’re supposed to finally be together. She was just so angry…”
“Sara’s still detoxing,” Diego said gently. “She’s probably still reeling. What she said isn’t necessarily how she truly feels.”
“She sounded pretty sure of herself to me.”
“That happens, with family,” I said, before truly thinking it through. “I was taken in by a very large family, and I love everyone in it, but sometimes, when I’m upset, it’s my family that bears the brunt of it. That’s just how it works.”
Mia was quiet for a moment, still hugging her knees to her chest. “She’s all I’ve got.”
Guilt hit me—hard. It had just been the luck of the draw that I’d ended up with the Fowlers. I could’ve very easily bounced from foster home to foster home, like Mia had. Like Diego had.
Sometimes I wasn’t even sure that I deserved to live in this house. I’d already won the fucking lottery in terms of family while everyone else here had been through so much.
Diego’s expression was sympathetic as he watched her. “Do you want to tell us about your dream?”
“Your nightmare,” I amended, because it clearly had been bad.
She didn’t answer for a long time, but when she did, she sounded younger.
“I… we were back in middle school. It was my first day there, and after our foster mom dropped us off, Sara told me that just because we lived together didn’t mean we were friends. Then she ran off, leaving me to find the front office on my own.”
Mia sniffled, and I wished I had a tissue or handkerchief to offer her. My grandfather always carried a handkerchief.
