Page 21 of Target Me
“Avery?”
The painting beside the window gave me nothing. The swirl of colors and vaguely humanoid face seeming to leer at me, condemning my presence in her personal space. Retracing my steps, I systematically worked through each room on the second floor, stubbornly tamping down the anxiety crawling through me as each door opened into yet another Avery-free room. A heavy wooden set of double doors loomed at the end of the hall, the ornate carving giving me pause. It seemed like the kind of room where secrets were held.
Fuck it, finding Avery was more important than whatever might be hidden in there.
I pushed the doors open and came face to face with rows and rows of books. A library, Christ. Navigating between the rows of shelves, I came to a clear space flushed with sunlight. A sitting area with high-backed, plush chairs took up the majority of the space in front of a window with a bench built in beneath it.
I let out a heavy breath.
In one corner of the bench, curled up in a pile of cushions with one foot hanging over the edge, was Avery. Fast asleep. As though she were a magnet and I were just a hunk of metal, I was drawn across the space between us until I stood over her, watching her in sleep like a goddamn creeper.
Her brow furrowed, and I couldn’t help but try to smooth the lines away with a thumb. Her head turned into my touch, as though even in sleep she couldn’t get close enough. She deserved better than what I, or even the General, could give her.
The thought hit me hard, and I quickly snatched my hand away. She had been right the other day when she’d called me destructive. I was responsible for the undoing of so much, and even if I had tried to make things right, I’d given up. Run away when things got hard.
I refused to do that again.
Avery sighed, her eyelids fluttering before opening; her sleepy hazel stare latching onto me.
“Good morning,” she muttered, stretching her legs out and not bothering to stifle a yawn.
“Hardly morning. What are you doing in here?”
I offered her the cup of coffee I had carted all over the house in my search for her. She accepted the mug with a grin, taking a long draw of the caffeine before refocusing on me.
“I came down here this morning. I must have fallen asleep. It’s really nice in the sun here. You should try it.”
I grunted, lifting her feet and sliding onto the bench next to her. Needing something to do with my hands, I started working the muscles in her feet. Kneading and massaging while trying to convince myself it wasn’t because I was still processing the anxiety of not being able to find her. We sat quietly for a while, Avery sipping her coffee and periodically groaning when I hit a particularly tender spot on her feet.
“I’m sorry,” I blurted. Shit, I hadn’t meant to say that.
“For what?” she asked, wiggling her feet to get me to continue massaging when I paused.
“I shouldn’t have messed with you like that yesterday. I made you uncomfortable. So, yeah. I’m sorry.” Eloquent as a rock, as always.
“Which part are you apologizing for?”
“The… Well, all of it, really.”
She cocked her head, eyeing me far closer than I wanted her to. Her father may have thought she was a brat and a flake, but there was a hell of a lot more to her that I couldn’t afford to explore.
“From my perspective, the only discomfort came from you working me up and not following through. Is cold feet a common thing for you, Logan? A little performance anxiety, maybe?”
I revised my previous thought. Brat was most definitely a fitting descriptor.
“Look, I don’t pursue men who are genuinely not interested in me. I think we could work really well together, so tell me. Do you want me, Logan?”
“Yes. No. Fuck, I can’t want you. I’m here to keep you safe.”
“I can keep myself safe. But to be clear, you’re saying keeping me safe and fucking me are mutually exclusive? It would seem the best way to keep an eye on me would be to share my bed.”
I surged to my feet in agitation. How was I supposed to argue with that logic? I could spout some bullshit about respect for her father, or not wanting her, but when it came down to it… No, I couldn’t do this. Avery’s hand shot out, wrapping around my wrist as I took a step away from her.
“Tell me right now that you have no interest in me, and I’ll let you go. If you’re doing this for some shitty bro-code, white knight bullshit, I’m going to break you down and get behind those walls, because I think I can do as much for you as you can for me.”
My jaw ticked as I tried to force out the words.I don’t like you. I’m not interested in you. My dominant side wants to tame you in ways that might scare you.
Instead of voicing anything, I broke her grip and strode out.
