Page 9 of Damnation
Three
“You have me.”
These are the words that follow me for the rest of the night—or at least for the few remaining hours between us and the dawn. They generate butterflies in my stomach and make me fall asleep with a smile on my face.I have him.I don’t know if he really believes it, or if it was just a way to calm me down, but just hearing him say it was all I needed.
Bolstered by that confession, I asked Thomas if I could stay with him, reassuring him that I would figure out another solution tomorrow. His response was brusque and immediate: “I wouldn’t take you back to your mother’s house if you got on your knees and begged.”
So we went back to his dorm room, I took a shower, put on one of his giant T-shirts, and we got into bed. We entwined ourselves with one another in what seems to have become our perfect fit: his arms wrapped around my waist, my back pressed against his chest, and his leg thrown over mine. It felt so good, but the little voice in my head warned me not to get too used to this, because his pity for me is going to run out, and then Thomas will go back to being surly and unmanageable. Needled by this fear, I tried to move away from him a little, but he didn’t let me. He pulled me back against him, and we were lulled by the silence until we closed our eyes and fell asleep, just as the first rays of sunrise began to illuminate the darkness.
When I wake up, I’m alone in the bed. Various fragments ofmemories overlap in my mind: Logan begging me, the box with the still-intact pizza inside, Thomas’s fists on the door… For a moment, it feels like it was all a strange dream, but my exhaustion and puffy eyes confirm it really did happen. It feels like I’ve been sleeping for an eternity, and in fact, a glance at my phone confirms it’s almost four in the afternoon. I also see a text from Alex asking me where I went last night and why I didn’t show up for class.
Had a fight with my mother. Long story, tell you later. PS: I’m gonna need your notes, I answer.
I put my phone away and waste a few seconds staring at the ceiling. From the next room, I can hear Thomas’s low voice talking to his roommate, Larry. Actually, it seems like more than talking; I dare say they are arguing. They probably think I’m still asleep and can’t hear them. Well, they’re wrong.
“Is this going to become a habit now?” I hear Larry ask. “Am I gonna start seeing her stuff appearing around the dorm all the time? We agreed, no girls here. You have the frat house for that kind of thing.”
“What I do is none of your business, so get off my ass,” Thomas silences him, exasperated.
“It absolutely is my business. This isn’t just your apartment; it’s mine too. I have just as much right to express my opinion on the matter. And may I also remind you that she is a squatter? She can’t stay here.”
“It’s not going to become a habit. But now you listen to me: If you dare say anything to her, if you even look at her wrong or make her feel in any way uncomfortable, I swear I’ll rip out your tongue and punch it down your throat. This is a shit situation for her too, don’t you think?”
They’re arguing because of me. Larry doesn’t want me here. He probably sees me as an interloper preparing to invade his space, even if I have no intention of doing that. And he’s not completely wrong; Iama squatter. If anyone found out they were letting me stay here, he and Thomas would be in big trouble. I sigh deeply and scrub a hand over my face, ignoring their argument, which seems to be getting thornier by the second. But I can’t lie here indifferently for much longer, so I getup and put my hair into a ponytail, pull off Thomas’s shirt, and put on my clothes from last night before leaving the room.
As soon as I open the door, I can see Thomas’s powerful figure towering over Larry. Both of them turn toward me, lapsing into a deathly silence, which only makes me feel even more awkward. Thomas slowly lets go of Larry’s shirt, allowing him to straighten up and run his hands over himself in an attempt to smooth it out.
“Good morning,” I murmur, embarrassed. I gesture toward the coffee machine. “If it’s not too much trouble, I’ll just make a cup, and then I can get out of your hair,” I say, sidling past them with my head lowered.
“You can stay as long as you want and do whatever you want,” Thomas says in a calm but firm tone that immediately makes me turn to look at him. I see him glare at Larry, who, eyes hidden beneath his tousled curls, bites his tongue.
I gulp and give them a tight smile before continuing to the kitchen counter. I take a pod from the blue tin and insert it into the machine; then I lean on the countertop, tapping my nails against its surface. With my back to the guys, I wait for the smell of coffee to start wafting through the house.
“You took a decaf one,” Larry points out. I turn to him, frowning. “The blue tin is for decaf. And the decaf is mine,” he clarifies, his voice going a bit shrill.
“Oh, I’m sorry. I had no idea.”
A sound from the machine tells me that it’s ready. I quickly grab the cup and offer it to him. “Coffee?” I curve my lips up into a smile, hoping to soften him up a bit.
Thomas stands next to Larry, watching this scene unfold. Clearly aware of the severe look Thomas is giving him, Larry shakes his head resignedly. “No, it’s fine. You drink that one. But bear it in mind for next time.”
I nod, and with the cup of coffee still steaming in my hands, I watch as he puts on his jacket with an embittered air before grabbing a few comics off the table and leaving. As soon as the door closes behindhim, I turn around and put the cup back on the counter, rubbing my forehead with a sigh. I don’t like people disliking me. And I really don’t like causing trouble for people.
Thomas puts his hands on my hips, turning me to face him, and then bends down until he can look me in the eye. “He’s not mad at you. He just doesn’t like change.”
Despite knowing that it’s surely unconvincing, I still manage a weak smile. “Yeah, good, I get it. Either way, I’m going to look for a new place to stay. Maybe a room in a house or anything really that has four walls and doesn’t require me to rob a bank.”
He lets out a chuckle.
“But first I have to go home and change.”
“You sure you wanna do that?”
“My work uniform is there, as are the rest of my things.”
“Do you want to go right now?”
“My mother will be at the office until six; I want to take advantage of her absence to grab the necessities.”
