Page 76 of Collision
Before starting class, I stop by the cafeteria in the student union to meet Alex for our usual 8:30 coffee. The atmosphere, however, is almost gloomy. Which is unusual. Stella’s departure must have robbed Alex of his usual good humor.
“Have you heard from Travis again?” he asks after interminable minutes of silence in which we both do nothing but stare blankly at an indefinite spot on the table. We really look like a pair of depressives.
“I blocked his number. Just the thought of hearing from him makes my stomach turn. I hope for his sake I don’t cross paths with him; I can’t be held accountable for my actions.”
“If he’s smart, he’ll know to stay away from you.”
“In any case, Tiffany assured me her brother wasn’t going to be my problem anymore.” Speaking of problems, mine has just entered the cafeteria in the company of Shana. The way he loops his arm around her waist immediately triggers my anger. I can’t help but think about those hands which, less than six hours ago, were on my body, holding me, wanting me… It’s enough to make me cry.
I feel the urgent need to flee. I stand up, trying to hide how upset I am, and ask Alex to walk with me to my next class. I know I won’t be able to get away from Thomas forever, though, because I am headed right for philosophy. My friend intuits the source of my upset, but he doesn’t say anything; he merely accompanies me down the hallway.
I take my usual seat in the front row and wait for the professor. Ten minutes later, the classroom is beginning to fill up, and Thomas sidles up next to me. The nerve of this guy.
“Hello again, stranger. Same place, same time.” He smiles. As soon as he notices that I have no intention of responding to him, his enthusiasm wanes. Out of the corner of my eye, I can see him scrutinizing me carefully. “What’s the matter with you?”
“Leave me alone, Thomas,” I say in a clipped voice with my gaze fixed on my already-open notes. But his proximity gets on my nerves. “Hey, is that seat free?” I ask a blond guy in the third row. A pair of blue eyes give me a perplexed look, but then the boy smiles at me. I realize suddenly that he’s the same guy who said hello to me in the stands before the basketball game. How had I never noticed him in this class before?
“Yes, of course. Come here.”
I gather all my things and change seats.
“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Thomas grips my wrist tightly, but I manage to wriggle out of it.
“Nothing,” I lie. “Everything is just fine.”
I sit down next to the blond boy and position everything I need on the desk in my usual maniacal order.
“Nice to meet you, I’m Logan.”
“No one asked you, dumbass,” Thomas says testily, turning in our direction.
I lean forward and glare at him. Logan starts, caught off guard. “Ignore him,” I tell my new neighbor, who listens and turns back to me. “And I’m Vanessa.” I smile at him.
“Yes, I know who you are, but this is the first time you’ve ever spoken to me. We had a class together last year, but you never even said hello.”
I am embarrassed by the implicit accusation.
“Damn, sorry. Please forgive me. Believe it or not, I don’t talk to a lot of people. But that’s not a you-problem, it’s a me-problem.” I shake his hand. “Nice to meet you, I’m Vanessa. The most awkward and introverted person on the face of the earth. Sorry again,” I babble begging for forgiveness with my eyes.
“Of course, don’t worry about it, it’s not like you’re the only one.”He smiles shyly. “But, if the guilt is eating you alive, you can always make it up to me with lunch, maybe in the cafeteria? How about that?”
I’m about to agree but Thomas interrupts us. “Shit, your pickup game is mind-blowing. What are you gonna do now? Slip her a note that says ‘do you like me? Check yes or no?’”
I am flabbergasted.
“Please, pardon me. In fact, pardon him,” I say, turning to Logan. When I realize that Thomas is still looking at me, I snap, “What the hell do you want?”
“Why did you move?” he asks angrily.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t realize that you two are…uh…together,” Logan says awkwardly.
“We’re not together,” we answer in unison. At least we agree on something.
“Clark, Fallon, and Collins? If it is not too much of an imposition, I would like to start class,” Professor Scott chides us, having just made his entrance.
I clam up, purple with shame. This is the first time I have ever been reprimanded by a professor. Logan smiles reassuringly at me. Thomas seems unfazed. He gets up and joins us. “You, find another seat. I have an issue to resolve,” he orders, standing behind Logan.
I place a hand on Logan’s arm and insist, “No. Stay here.”
