Page 45 of Collision
Travis starts to answer but freezes up when Leila rushes to my side. He gives me a bewildered look. “Whatever she told you, it’s not…”
“Don’t,” I interrupt him. “Don’t you dare say a single word,” I hiss, full of hatred, narrowing my eyes.
“Someone had to tell her.” Leila gives him a contemptuous look. “But you’re so pathetic, you wouldn’t have gotten up the courage to do it even if I gave you a hundred years.” She walks past him and goes to the living room. I see her talking to a girl, and I head for the door.
“Vanessa, please let me explain,” Travis tries.
“You are the most despicable person I have ever met in my entire my life,” I spit in disgust. “It’s over. It’s over for good.”
I run down the last few steps with a lump in my throat, push through the crush, and get out of that hellish place.
As soon as I’m outside, I take a deep breath, inhaling the cool, damp night air. I find an isolated garden wall out back and collapse. It is only at this point that I, finally, burst into tears. I cry my eyes out, I cry out all my tears, all the pain I feel. And it hurts. It hurts like hell.
How could I have been so stupid? It’s all been right there in front of my face, but I refused to see it.
I go to the back porch and sit down on the first step. I wipe away my tears and realize that my makeup has smeared. Damn, that’s all I need. It takes me a few seconds but, when I finally calm down, a group of boys stagger past me in a cacophony of barely comprehensible words.
I recognize Thomas’s voice among them. I watch him walk away, but suddenly he turns to me with a confused expression, as if he didn’t recognize me at first. He reaches for me.
“Stranger,” he says, sitting down next to me with a beer in his hands. “What are you doing here?”
I let out an unhappy laugh as, slowly, the whole thing dawns onme. Thomas’s hatred of Travis…now it all makes sense. I shake my head, despondent.
“I’m reflecting on my life,” I say simply, lowering my gaze to the wet grass.
“Bullshit,” he snorts, lighting a cigarette.
“Bullshit?”
He takes a long drag, blows the smoke out of his mouth, and then turns to look at me. “Yeah. Bullshit. You, out here all alone, ‘reflecting on your life.’”
“Yeah… Maybe you’re right.” With unusual audacity, I grab the beer out of his hand and take a sip. “Are you leaving?”
I gesture with the neck of the bottle to the group of guys he came in with, who left a moment ago and are waiting for him a few feet away.
He nods, then glances at Carol’s house behind our backs. “My sister just went back to campus with her classmate, so I’ve got no reason to stay. Let’s go tear it up at Matthew’s.”
“Don’t do anything you’ll regret,” I taunt, bumping his shoulder.
“But that’s the whole reason we’re going,” he replies with a teasing smile that makes me embarrassed.
I hand him back the bottle, and, without taking his eyes off me, he downs the rest of it in one gulp. He puts his lips in the exact same spot where mine had been. My heart begins to beat at a manic pace. It’s absurd how Thomas manages to provoke such an intense reaction in just a few moments. He senses this and gives me a sly smile. Then he stands up, leaving an empty space beside me that suddenly makes me feel lonely.
I offer a weak smile, sure it’s time to say goodbye. Against my every prediction, however, Thomas plants himself in front of me and scrutinizes me carefully. “What’s up?” I ask, my voice cracking.
“Come with me.”
My heart hammers in my chest. “What?”
“Would you rather sit here, on a filthy porch step, surrounded by spoiled brats and feeling sorry for yourself?”
“I don’t know…”
“I won’t ask you again. So get up off that cute little ass of yours and come with me.” He holds out his hand, waiting for me to take it.
“You think I have a nice ass?” I blurt out automatically, and I instantly regret it.
“I would happily fuck it,” he says cheekily. I goggle at him and curse myself for asking that inappropriate question in the first place. He laughs and shakes his head, while I feel my cheeks blazing with shame. “So are you coming or not?”
