Page 36 of Collision
“What are you talking about?”
“Relationships. They’re a cage I’m happy to stay out of. They all end up the same anyway.”
“Meaning?”
“They’re soul-destroying,” he replies in a rough voice.
“That’s crazy…”
“You think so? So tell me, how long have you been with Travis?”
“What?”
“How long have you been with your boyfriend?” he repeats determinedly.
“Two years.”
“You know, for some people two years is a long time.” He curls a lock of my hair around his index finger. “For other people, however, it’s almost nothing…” He stares into my eyes, then his gaze drops languidly to my lips. It seems like he’s thinking about something.
“So what? What are you getting at?”
“Are you happy?”
“Of course,” I blurt out, but I quickly realize that I’m lying.
He snorts a laugh. “Come on, you don’t believe that any more than I do. Two years in a relationship and he’s taken everything from you. Your eyes are empty, Vanessa.”
His words hit me square in the chest, creating a rift and unleashing emotions I didn’t even know I had. This conversation is beyond belief; he has known me for barely a week, yet he can read me better than anyone else in my life. Better, even, than I read myself.
“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” I keep lying, discomfited.
I try to pull away one more time because, all of a sudden, I feel suffocated, but he clasps my hips with both hands and pushes me against the wall.
“Thomas, let go of me,” I say with less conviction than I would like.
He ignores me, runs a hand along my neck and looms over me, brushing my ear with his lips.
“I know exactly what I’m talking about,” he whispers hoarsely. He caresses my cheek with his knuckles. I want to tell him that he cannot touch me like this, but I can’t. My throat is tight and dry. My head is fuzzy, and my heart is beating wildly. I break out in a cold sweat. He moves on to my neck and I feel his lips curving slowly into a barely there smile. He is well aware of the chills he is giving me as I feel a fluttering like butterflies in my lower abdomen.
“W-what are you doing?” I whisper-gasp.
“I’ll prove you wrong.” He aligns his face with mine, and the way he looks at me makes my knees go weak. Confident. Dominant. Passionate. He carefully hovers his mouth over mine, and my heart begins to beat even faster. Whether it is fear or desire, I don’t know. But just as our lips are about to touch, a ringtone brings me to my senses.
My phone.
With a trembling hand I pull it out of the pocket of my jeans. It’s Travis.
I stare at it and, in a split second, all my good sense comes rushing back to me. Oh God… What am I doing? I look at Thomas, lost and guilty. Unlike me, he looks perfectly at ease. When he lowers his gaze to the screen of the phone, however, his expression changes. He becomes cold and distant, just like yesterday. Before I can say anything to him, he takes a step back and runs a hand through his hair, tousling it. “Your eyes are more beautiful when they smile, Vanessa.”
He walks away, leaving me dazed and staring at the empty space where he used to be. It takes me a few minutes to recover from whatever was happening with Thomas. I lean my head against the wall and close my eyes as the phone rings for the third time. And for the third time, I reject the call. My mind is in turmoil, crowded with thoughts and torn by guilt.
How did I find myself within a millimeter of his lips once again?
I rub my face and take a deep breath, trying to shake off the memory of his touch, of his eyes burning into me, of his body pressed close against mine. I cannot allow him to take over my thoughts, to destroy what I have built with Travis over the years. I cannot, cannot, cannot.
Guilt forces me to unlock my phone and type out a message for Travis:Meet me at the entrance of the Lit department. Ten minutes later, he materializes on the stairs of the neoclassical-style building where I spend most of my day. I grab him and drag him out to the trees in the garden, away from prying ears.
“I know you’re going to yell at me, but just listen for a minute,” he begins, clutching my arms. “This morning, I got caught up in the stress. You know, the first game, my father, the sponsors…”
