Page 34 of Collision
My heart beats faster at the sound of his words. I lower my eyes, unable to hold his gaze. He tilts my chin up with one finger until I am looking in his eyes again. I swallow uncomfortably.
“It doesn’t matter what I believe. I can’t trust you, and that won’t change,” I admit. I feel an inexplicable twinge of sadness when I see his eyes darken. “Besides, the two of us have nothing in common,” I add. “You don’t get along with my boyfriend, and I can’t risk ruining what we have for—”
“All right, then,” Thomas interrupts me brusquely in a cold,impersonal voice tinged with resentment. “Whatever you want.” With a sudden movement that leaves me off-balance, he straightens up and removes his hand from the side of my face, putting distance between us. I realize only now that all the muscles in my body were tensed.
I am filled with a disappointment that I shouldn’t feel.
“Okay,” I murmur with equal detachment, certain that this is the best solution for everyone. Confused and dissatisfied, I watch him walk away with long strides.
Eleven
I spend the rest of the morning in limbo, trying to untangle my knotted feelings. Leila doesn’t show up at practice, and Thomas ignores me. The cold war is still on, however, between him and Travis.
After class, I tell my mother that I’ll be sleeping over at the Bakers’. Tiffany invites me out to drinks with some of the girls in her class, but I’m not in the mood, so I tell her I’ll stay in with Travis. But when he starts kissing and touching me in the middle of a movie, I give him the headache excuse. I’m not in that mood either. I still feel restless and even a little guilty about all those strange feelings I allowed myself to feel near Thomas. Travis can’t hide his resentment, and so we watch the movie in total silence until we fall asleep facing away from one another.
***
I wake at the crack of dawn for a change, and I see Travis staring intently at the ceiling. I know what’s troubling him: today is Friday. The first game of the season is this afternoon. So even though I can’t think straight before my coffee, I sit on the edge of the bed and try to reassure him.
“Everything will be fine. The team is strong,” I say, rubbing my eyes. In actuality, I am not so sure. The University of Oregon Ducks are among the best. Last year we came within a hair’s breadth of winning the championship, but, in the end, they took it from us.
Travis snorts and sits on the edge of the mattress, running his handsthrough his curls. “I just want this day to be over quickly. At least this time, my father won’t be in the stands.” He jumps out of bed and heads for the bathroom.
I can see why he’s stressed. His father is always pressuring him to make a good impression in front of the sponsors. But when Travis is nervous, he makes me nervous too, and I can’t stand it.
After a silent high-protein breakfast, we get into the truck.
Campus is more chaotic than ever. On game days, the atmosphere is always hectic. Basketball fans are out in force. Lots of students, myself included, wear black sweatshirts with “Go Beavers!” written in orange lettering. Plus, tonight is the first party of the academic year—the electricity in the air is palpable.
In the parking lot we meet Finn and Matt, who greet Travis with fist bumps.
“Vanessa, how are you?” Matt exclaims, giving me a hug.
“Good, how about you?” I look around. “It’s a real circus around here, huh?”
“You’re telling me. I couldn’t even find a decent place to park the car. I had to leave her off campus, and I swear if I find one scratch on her, I’m gonna lose it.”
“Wait until the Ducks get here. Who knows if she’ll come out unscathed?” I grin and rub it in. At my side, Travis is still tense.
“Shit, they’re animals, if they so much as touch her, I swear…”
“Dude, give it a rest,” Finn interrupts him. “You parked so far away that you’ll have to have someone drive you to pick it up.” He punches him playfully in the side, and I burst out laughing.
“Yeah, relax. We have other things to think about today,” Travis joins in.
“So,” I say a little uncomfortably, trying to change the subject, “are you ready for the game? You guys rocked it at practice yesterday.”
“Bet, beautiful! This year we’re going to kick Duck ass!” replies Matt with an eloquent hand gesture. “We’ve got it all locked down and, now that he’s back at one hundred percent, we have a true prodigy on the team,” he adds proudly.
“Matt, you’re exaggerating like always, he’s not a prodigy. He’s just…passably good,” Travis says angrily, giving his friend a dirty look.
“Shit, I want to be passably good like him too.”
At these words, my stomach twists. And a strange intuition makes its way through me. They’re not talking about…
“Hey, Collins, c’mere!” shouts Matt.
Damn, I knew it.
