Page 157 of Collision
It’s true that when he took me to the tree house, I told him that I didn’t trust him. But how can he believe that’s still how I feel after everything that’s happened between us? I wouldn’t have done any of the things I did with him if a part of me didn’t already trust him.
“So is this how things are going to be between us from now on? You’re going to decide where I can go, what I can do, who I can meet…all because you think I’m this naive waif incapable of taking care of myself. Am I right?”
“Don’t talk nonsense. You’re free to do whatever you want.”
“Except see Logan.”
“Exactly.”
I snort, frustrated by this surreal situation. “I’m sorry, Thomas. But regardless of what you think, Logan has always treated me well. Can you say the same?” I realize too late that I have said this more contemptuously than I wanted to.
“Are you serious?” he asks resentfully. For a moment, it hurts me to see such bitterness on his face. But I can’t just forget how many times he’s managed to break my heart in the last two months.
“Yes, I am serious.” As I say it, his face twists in anger. His nostrils flare and his eyes blaze with fury.
“You know what?” he says, looking me straight in the eyes. “There’s a party tonight at Matt’s. I wasn’t going to go because I had other plans, plans with you. But, in the end, you’re not really that important to me.” He offers an indifferent shrug and keeps talking, “So who knows? Maybe I’ll go and maybe I’ll lock myself in a room alone with some girl.” He stares at me with a sinister glint in his eyes. “But just to talk, of course.” I am frozen stiff.
I bite the inside of my cheeks until they bleed, trying not to cry in front of him. It takes me a while before I find the strength to reply in a steady voice. “You don’t need to resort to these cheap threats, Thomas. If you want to fuck someone else, just do it,” I spit with all the contempt I can manage. I rise slowly from my chair, making an incredible effort to keep holding the most bewitching and deadliest gaze in the world, all while he sits motionless. “And, for the record: you do hurt me. You are hurting me.” I feel like I can’t breathe, like all the oxygen has been sucked from the room. I turn and walk shakily to the door But, just as I open it, Thomas pounces from behind me and slams his palm into the door to shut it again.
“You’re not leaving.” The low, commanding voice stuns me just as much as the wave of vetiver and tobacco.
“You’re going to keep me here by force?” I say, the warning in my tone undermined by the trembling of my voice.
“If I have to, yes.”
I shake my head, disappointed but also indignant.
“You are crazy, and I must be even crazier because I’m chasing after you. You just told me you wanted to spend the night with someone else. What the hell do you want from me?!”
“I want you to listen to me!” he yells in my ear. He slaps the door so hard that I jerk in fright. When he realizes he’s gone too far, he leans his forehead on the back of my head and rests his hands on my shoulders, exhaustedly. He takes deep breaths, until he regains his composure. “Listen, I don’t want… I don’t want to fight. I don’t want to be like this with you.”
“And yet, this is what always happens,” I murmur with tears in my eyes.
“I’m not good at dealing with emotions, especially when it’s about you. I wish I knew how to do it. I wish I wasn’t always so…” He leaves the sentence hanging, as if struggling to find the right words.
“So?” I swallow with difficulty, staring at the dark grain of the wooden door.
“Angry,” he whispers against my ear, “constantly angry.”
“Why?” I ask softly, almost a whisper.
“About too many things, Ness.” His hands slide down, traveling the curve of my hips, before coming back up to my waist. His arms surround me and squeeze me tightly. “Sometimes, you calm that anger. Other times, you set it off like nothing else. And you know the weird thing? When I first saw you, I made the mistake of thinking you were just a spineless little brat. Instead, you are this indomitable, stubborn little brat who drives me out of my mind.”
“I-I’m sorry,” I babble, as the caress of his fingers on my hips and the delicious sensation of his lips so close to my skin cloud my thinking.
“For what?” Still behind me, Thomas strokes my back before grabbing my chin and tilting my head to one side, exposing the curve of my neck. My heart thumps wildly.
“For failing to live up to your expectations,” I murmur breathily. Thomas traces the pulsing vein in my neck with his lips. I can feel them curving into a smile. He laps at my skin with his tongue, sending shivers all through my body, when all of a sudden, my phone starts ringing.
I grimace. I pull it out of my pocket and see that it is Logan: he must have come back. “I have to go now,” I say trying to move away from Thomas. He won’t let me; he tightens his grip on my side, grinding his pelvis against me.
“Thomas, don’t do this…” I beg him, almost in a trance.
He bites my neck, making me moan softly. “Don’t do what?”
“L-Logan is waiting for me,” I tell him. I can feel his tongue on my neck and desire swamps me like high tide.
“Let him wait.” He begins to nibble on my neck, his tongue moving slow and firm, sucking ardently on my skin.
