Page 57 of Collision
I give him a sideways look. “Um…what are you doing?”
“Walking,” he says resolutely, apparently heedless of the stareshe’s getting from some of the female students as we pass them. I, on the other hand, cannot ignore the nasty glares or the suggestive looks from the boys. Fortunately, campus is sparsely populated on Saturdays. To avoid giving the wrong impression, I move a little away from Thomas. I don’t want to be seen as some naive little girl who fell into his clutches.
“Are you… Are you headed for some extracurricular too?”
“To the dorm.” He puffs out a cloud of smoke around his head.
“Is it really necessary for you to walk beside me?”
“We’re going in the same direction, Ness.”
“People are looking at us, Thomas,” I point out to him in annoyance.
He takes a quick look around before turning his attention back to me. “So?”
“They might get the wrong idea about the two of us, they might think…”
“That we fucked?” he finishes my sentence. “Do you think we’re the only ones doing it?” He chuckles, dismissing my discomfort.
“I don’t care what other people do, I care what they think of me.”
“And what do you think they think of you?” he asks.
“They look at me like I’m your new little slut.”
Thomas stops suddenly, as if I had just slapped him in the face. His smile fades, leaving a different expression. Almost disappointed.
“If you were really my slut, they wouldn’t notice you at all. So stop it with this bullshit.”
Go tell that to my conscience, which is making me feel so dirty. I’m even afraid of what my friends will say when they find out that I wasted no time in throwing myself into someone else’s bed right after I broke up with my ex.
“There are some things that a person like you could never understand,” I say simply, before I leave.
Sixteen
The meeting with my reading group at the library energizes me. We choose the novel we’ll read this month and sketch out a meeting schedule; I am happy to have a small space where I can talk about books. I also manage to borrow a charger for my phone. When it finally turns on, I see calls from Travis, texts from Alex, and, with perfect timing, I get a new notification from Tiffany:In the garden, ten minutes. We need to talk.
Damn, I was hoping for a clean escape, but apparently I’m due a full-blown lecture for walking out of the party, sending her one vague message, and then disappearing all night. In retrospect, I realize that it was pretty irresponsible of me.
When I get to the garden, I look for her among the picnic tables, and a copper-colored head of hair immediately catches my attention. I head for her but as soon as I see that Alex is right next to her, I turn pale. What is he doing here? Isn’t he supposed to be with Stella?
Oh God, I don’t have the guts to tell Alex that Travis wasn’t just the asshole he had always thought but was actually much worse. I definitely don’t have the guts to tell him that I got nearly blackout drunk and ended up sleeping with Thomas. The very same guy he had warned me about and I had reassured him, telling him he should trust my judgment. Instinctively I take a step back, trying to slip away, but Tiffany’s voice pulls me back.
Damn!
I squeeze my eyes shut and turn around slowly. My friend waves her arm to get my attention. I smile at her through gritted teeth and, resigned, I walk over to them.
“Heeeey, hi,” I murmur, tense as a violin string.
“Hi, my ass,” Tiffany immediately interrupts me. “What the hell happened last night?! Do you have any idea how I felt when I read your message and found out that not only were you no longer at the party, but you weren’t even reachable! I didn’t know who you were with, where you were, why you ran away!”
“And do you have any idea how scared I was when Tiffany called me in a total panic asking me if I had heard from you and, guess what, I hadn’t?” Alex adds in a stern voice.
I bend my head and cover my face with my hands, then take a big breath and say, “Guys, I’m really sorry for worrying you, it was wrong of me. But everything happened so fast that I didn’t even think about it. I was safe, though. I wrote you just to let you know that you shouldn’t worry. I was at Matt’s,” I confess, leaving out the small detail of Thomas’s presence.
“At Matt’s? What were you doing there?”
“Well, I…” I look from Alex to Tiffany, ready to tell them everything, when just a few feet away I see a furious Travis approaching.
